


Ragdoll

by BeautifulNightmare, MedgesFiend



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Slavery, Fluff and Angst, Lambski, Love, Love/Hate, M/M, Romance, Saulbert - Freeform, Sexual Content, master - Freeform, slave - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-11
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-11 22:52:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 51,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/483758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeautifulNightmare/pseuds/BeautifulNightmare, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MedgesFiend/pseuds/MedgesFiend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sauli is just a simple servant, passed from master to master...But when he's sold to a man who takes his breath away, he may be able to look at life with brighter eyes...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just An Object

**Author's Note:**

> Random story idea. Switches POV's each chapter.

Sauli:

I frowned as I silently looked at the ground, not allowing my eyes to waver away from the soil my toes crushed into on the ground. I didn't have any shoes because I was much too poor to afford them and I was never given any. I wore a ripped and ragged shirt and a pair of pants that were too dirty, but that didn't seem to matter. As long as my face remained pretty, I should deem acceptable in society's standards.

I was following two people whom names I could not remember for the life of me. All I knew was that they were rich and I could not speak to them until I was spoken too…Who was I but a lowly servant? They were my superiors; therefore, they owned and ruled everything about me so far, until they bring me to my true owner. It's not as if I asked for this life, but I couldn't help but feel resentful towards these people that I just met. Or resentful to my last master…and all the other masters previous to him. All of them I despised, and I am assuming I will just loath this master like I loathed all the ones before him. I didn't want this life, but I couldn't choose it any different…it was all I knew.

A small sob chocked up in my throat, but I did not dare allow it to surface. If I even made a peep, these people would have all the rights in the world to slap me or do whatever they want. To be honest, I didn't want a beating or anything right now or ever, but it's not as if I had a choice. My mind was my only source of sanity and questions. Where were they taking me? Why can't they just leave me alone? I hated that I was sold again. Like some object…Though, I knew since I was Finnish, I was more valuable than the other servants were. I wasn't entirely sure why though because my accent was so thick, it was almost impossible to understand me unless you really let me articulate; then again, what did I care? It's not as if I actually spoke. I was just used for cleaning and other services, so my speaking was rarely ever necessary.

For the past nine years, I had just been a servant when I was sold at ten by my parents so they could have money. We were a rather poor family and could not afford much, and I guess since I was of good looks, I could be sold easily for a large profit. I wasn't sure if they did it with guilt, or whether it was like selling food or something, I never tried to think about it because it was too painful. Since then, my life has been: spend one month or a year with this master and slowly move onto the next. I honestly lost count of how many masters I had and it was an awful concept. One that I had been living for far too long and was growing heavy upon my shoulders.

"We're here," the man said and I slowly raised my head, looking up at the house. Normally, someone would be flabbergasted at the size and elegance of a mansion, but I had seen my share of lots, properties and fancier houses. At first, I was amazed and eager to enter, but then when I realized what awaited me inside these beautiful homes, I grew rather hateful towards them…They were nothing more to me than scenery.

"Come on, Finn," the women said, motioning me in as she opened the door. I quickly entered, keeping my head low and staring at the marble tile that made up the floor. It was a crisp aqua that was smooth beneath my feet. "Adam!" the woman called and I bit my bottom lip, squeezing my eyes shut. Adam was apparently my new master whom I was to serve. I was expecting him to come in full force and show me that I was nothing more than a servant was and he owned me. It wouldn't surprise me because this had been what every other person had done to me. "Adam, come on! We have your birthday present!" she called again and I wanted to rip my hair out. I'm a birthday present? Like some fucking object.

"Hold on! I'm sorry, I was just in the middle of…" he trailed off and I glanced up then quickly bowed to him. I didn't get a very good look at him but his voice sounded feathery and light. Not aggressive or assertive like all the others I had come to know.

"Adam, happy birthday! You only turn twenty-nine once and we thought we would get you a servant! You live in this big lonely house all by your lonesome, so perhaps he can keep you company. He is of the finest type too! Finn, raise your head," she demanded and I immediately straightened, staring my new master in the eyes and noticing that he was not as gruesome as my previous keepers were, but he was still probably as heartless. "He's Finnish, which is a rarity. He is also quite young. How old are you?" she asked me and I gulped.

"N-Nineteen, ma'am," I answered quickly, biting my tongue when I heard my accent. She nodded, looking back at her son who seemed in awe. His expression was one I had not seen frequently in the eyes of the likes of him. It was amazement or something else I couldn't quite point out…

"He has a few scratches, and he's a bit hard to understand, but I hear he's a very good servant. Use him well, baby," she said, scuttling up, kissing him on the cheek, "Remember, teach him obedience. Otherwise, we will get rid of him and you will not have a servant. I just want you to be happy." She smiled, walking past me and I flinched lightly. His father simply nodded and with a simple click, the door was shut. I immediately bowed again, hanging my head to the man named Adam. This is the time where he would order me to do something and I would have no choice but to obey.

"What are your wishes for me, Master?" I asked quietly, slowly rising and getting a good look at him for the first time. He was in a pair of black ripped jeans and maroon boots over that. On his torso was a gray tee and he wore a black leather jacket. His jet-black hair was gelled up and green at the tips. He wore what appeared to be eyeliner around his cobalt eyes and he had on a confused expression. Definitely not the typical rich man…

"Um, you can just call me, Adam. I'm…not really sure why my parents even got me a servant. I mean, not that you're not cool or anything, or…Shit," he laughed a little and I raised an eyebrow at him in curiosity. "Sorry…I'm Adam, what's your name?" he asked, holding out his hand. I just stared at it and glanced back up at him. He frowned, dropping his arm.

"My…name is Sauli…but masters do not call their servants by name," I mumbled quickly, looking at him. He furrowed his thick eyebrows together, and then a smile pulled on his lips.

"Don't consider me a master. Just a friend. I'm going to think that my parents brought along a roommate for me other than a servant…," he said and I titled my head to the side, not understanding what he was saying. "We can get to know each other and stuff! It'll be fun!" he exclaimed.

"Friend? Forgive me, master, I do not know what that is," I told him, flinching lightly because I thought he might hit me for being stupid. I had grown accustom to what I could and couldn't say and do. Being stupid was one of the things I could not do. He must have similar standards and priorities for me, right?

Adam frowned heavily, "What? You don't know what a friend is? Didn't you have some growing up though?" he asked and I felt a bit uncomfortable. I had never spoken about myself with anyone, and I did not really want to start with this new master because I am pretty sure it was all just some kind of act. Becoming too comfortable with someone was something I couldn't get mixed up in.

"Forgive me, but do you have something you would like me to do?" I questioned, my eyes narrowing into an involuntary glare. Adam just looked at me softly and shook his head.

"No…I just don't want you to be my slave, I'm sorry…," he mumbled, my eyes widened, and I swiftly bowed to him.  _Never_ before had a master apologized to me. It was so odd…

"Please just give me an order, master," I said and Adam sighed. He seemed reluctant to me and I didn't understand his peculiar behavior.

"Fine…um…go make me some…carrot juice," he said and I quickly nodded, beginning to walk to the kitchen. "Gah, wait! I was totally joking!" he said and I turned around, starting to get annoyed with him. Why the hell can't he just treat me like a servant and put me to work like everyone else? What was his problem? I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do otherwise because he's just acting weird.

"Um, I don't understand. I am only good at being a servant, so can't you treat me like one? If I can't serve you, your parents will get rid of me," I told him and he frowned, walking a little closer to me and I cringed lightly from him, holding my breath. Here it comes…

"Well…We can be friends! You can only act as if you serve me when my parents are around! Other than that, I just want you to treat me like a normal person. I can teach you to like…be my friend. I didn't have very many growing up either. Everyone always thought I was some snobby rich kid, so no one talked to me. But maybe we could be friends. Like…It means…Kind of…we like each other! And get to know each other and stuff. It'll be fun!" he said and I nodded, trying to comprehend his words. He kind of went on a rant and it was hard for me to understand some English.

"Of course, Master. Anything you wish," I spoke to him, trying to articulate my words as best I could. "If you would like to be friends, I will do as you please," I told him and he smiled, glancing out the window and noticing it was getting dark. At this point, I knew what I was going to do. "Um…Am I to sleep on the ground? Or…somewhere else you wish?" I asked slowly, trying to ask him this without being hit. I saw his eyes widen and he shook his head.

"No…You can sleep in my bed," he spoke to me and I looked at him with a confused expression.

"B-But…master….All the servants…they don't sleep…in beds—" I began to say until Adam rolled his eyes. He seemed annoyed with me and when a master is annoyed, he normally deals with it physically.

"Listen. My parents…like apparently bought you for me, and I'm not gonna like throw you out on the streets on your ass. We can be like roommates or something like I said. Come on, I will show you to my room, and then tomorrow we can look around the house. You seem tired," he stated and my eyes widened. He just smiled; gingerly touching my shoulder and pushing me forward a little to get me walking. I began to saunter towards the direction he indicated until we came to his room. It was fabulous, just like all my other master's rooms. It was green marble floor and a giant red bed in the middle with a sea of pillows. I could understand why Adam may be lonely…Not that I cared. He was going to turn out heartless and I could really care less for him.

"Here…" he said, walking over to his dresser and pulling out some clothes and handed them to me. "You can change into these. They're a bit big, perhaps, but they'll do until we go shopping for you tomorrow," he told me with a smile. I simply nodded, taking the clothes and setting them on the bed. He looked at me oddly and I began to take off my shirt. He laughed, pointing to the bathroom. "Sauli, go change in the bathroom!" he exclaimed and I stared at him as if he were insane.

"Don't you want me in your bed for sex, though?" I asked and all the color seemed to drain from his face. Every master I had previously had me both around the house and in bed. I am not sure why Adam would be any different. Didn't he take me into his room for that particular reason?

"What? NO!" he shouted and I bowed towards him, feeling embarrassed.

"I am very sorry. But I am a servant both around the house and in bed. I am here for both services, just like for my other masters," I whispered and Adam grabbed my shoulder, pulling me up with a scowl.

"Listen, you're not my slave, so don't think ya gotta have sex with me or something. Just go into the bathroom and change, okay?" he said, glancing me up and down. "Your clothes are really ratty. We'll get you new clothes tomorrow," he told me and I slowly nodded, walking to the bathroom with the change of attire and gripping onto them. I shut the door, gasping. What was UP with him? Why wasn't he ordering me around or telling me to bend over or something? It was so odd. I just have to listen to him and not make any mistakes.

I swiftly changed into his pair of clothes (they were so soft and amazing—I almost fainted), mindful of my wounds and looked in the mirror. It was a simple white tee and gray sweatpants, but it was more than anything I had ever owned. They smelt nice too…

I slowly opened the door and peeked out. Adam just finished putting his shirt on and he smiled, turning around. "Come on Sauli, you don't have to be so afraid. I'm your friend…," he said and I nodded, carefully walking out and poked his bed, observing it closely. He raised an eyebrow at me. "Well, get in," he said and I nodded, gingerly lying down on this giant mattress.

"Yes, Master," I said and he sighed, sitting next to me.

"You get under the covers," he spoke, reaching over and pulling back the blankets. "Now get under here," he ordered and I nodded, snuggling under the blankets and lifting them up to my nose, terrified that he was going to yell at me. He laughed, walking to the other side and getting in himself. "Night, Sauli," he said, turning off the light. I was too scared to move and I bit my bottom lip, reluctantly shutting my eyes and falling into an alert sleep…


	2. Taste The Tension

Adam: 

I rolled over in my bed, shoving my face into the pillow beside me. I had no intentions to be up yet. I honestly loved to sleep and, tired or not, I could sleep all day. That being said, I was too relaxed to even try to pull myself to my feet and walk to the kitchen. I attempted though, pulling my head up from the pillow and looking around the room. I noticed that Sauli wasn't lying in bed next to me, and his side of the bed was made neatly, tucked in on all sides. Then, sitting on top of the neatly made bed, was a short stack of clothes, the ones I had given Sauli the night before. I figured he must have changed into his own clothes.

I suddenly got motivated to get, curious of where Sauli was. I walked toward my door and opened it, stepping into a long hallway and smelling some sort of aroma. It smelled DELICIOUS. Who was making food?

Making my way to the kitchen, I started thinking about my "birthday present". Why the hell would my parents get me a slave? Isn't that illegal or something in America? I thought it was just wrong. But my parents were strict, and I didn't want them being disappointed in me. Plus, I couldn't tell them that I didn't want Sauli. Because, honestly, I could see myself being friends with him. And I didn't want him going back to being traded around. I felt bad for him. He probably didn't even know things like his birthday.

As I entered the kitchen, I was surrounded with the smell of something intoxicating. I couldn't tell exactly what it was, but I knew I wanted to eat it. My mouth was watering and my stomach was rumbling now. I looked over to the stove, seeing Sauli standing there, fumbling with pans and some food that I couldn't see. I walked a little closer, furrowing my eyebrows. Why was he cooking breakfast?

"Sauli?" I asked. He jumped and spun around quickly, looking at me. "What are you doing?" He looked nervous as his eyes searched around the room, looking for something to say.

"I… Was making you breakfast, master. Do you like o-omelets?" He stuttered on the last word as if I were going to punish him if I didn't like what he made. Maybe he actually thought that… Is that how things worked with his other "masters"?

"I do, but why are you making them?" I asked him. Suddenly his eyes went wide. He stood up straight and opened his mouth to talk, trying to figure out what words to say.

"O-Oh my goodness, I'm sorry, master! You don't want them, I'm so sorry!" Sauli said nervously, running all over the place. He grabbed the omelet out of the pan, throwing it right into the trash. He grabbed the eggshells, throwing them away too. He started grabbing things and putting them in the sink, preparing to wash them. I couldn't understand what he was doing.

Just as Sauli was throwing away the sliced peaches, two people entered the room. Sauli and I both froze, looking at the archway. My dad and mom looked at Sauli, then at me. My dad looked frustrated and angry. "What is he doing, Adam?"

"Um… I-I…" I couldn't figure out what to say. I didn't want Sauli to get into any trouble. But, knowing my dad, no matter what I said, something bad was about to happen.

"What are you doing, Finn?" My dad said, stalking over to Sauli. Sauli gulped and cringed, not knowing what to say. Just like me. "I said, what are you DOING?" He looked angry now. He glanced down into the trashcan, seeing what Sauli had thrown away. He made a grunting sort of noise and lifted his hand, throwing it back down. I heard a loud smack, and Sauli fell to the ground, gripping his cheek. I watched in awe as my dad walked away from him, sitting on a stool at the counter. My mom followed him, and she asked me to sit down. I sat down next to my dad, knowing that if I tried to help Sauli, my dad would probably send him on to his next master, thinking I wasn't grateful enough to have Sauli.

I watched Sauli stand and look at us nervously. He had a big red mark on his face. I wanted nothing more than to help him, but I just couldn't. I frowned at him and he saw, probably not caring, thinking I was just like my dad.

"Stop standing there, Finn, make us breakfast," my dad moaned, shooting me a glare as Sauli got to work. I sighed, watching Sauli as he worked. I could see his body shaking when I watched closely. He was so weak and fragile. I wanted to cry.

Breakfast was cooked fast and Sauli served us. My dad seemed pleased with his meal. My mom didn't say much as she ate. And I wasn't really a breakfast person, so after two bites, I pushed the plate away, not wanting much to eat, even though Sauli was a fabulous cook.

"So Adam," my dad said as he ate, "Did Sauli do any 'service' for you last night?" I looked at my dad, more confused than ever. Then, it clicked in my brain. Why the HELL was he asking me about this? Isn't that a little personal?

"What? No! I… didn't want it… Why are you asking me about this?" I said, blushing a little. I was completely and utterly embarrassed.

"I was just making sure he is worth our money. After all that happened, I don't know if he really is," I saw Sauli flinch out of the corner of my eye as he washed the dishes. Maybe he wanted to stay. Maybe he thought I was different. Because I was. I don't want to hurt him. "I think you should discipline him better, Adam."

My eyes went straight to my dad. Oh no, was he going to have me like, hurt Sauli? I can't do that, I just can't! "We just got him, Dad! I promise, if you give me a chance, I'll whip him right into shape!" I said. I heard a dish drop and Sauli froze. Oh no, I did not mean to say that… He is going to hate me now!

"You better," my dad said, standing and walking out of the room with my mom. As soon as they were out of sight, ran right over to Sauli.

"Sauli, I didn't mean that, I promise, it just slipped out!" I said, throwing my arms out behind me. Sauli slowly turned off the sink and turned to me, shaking.

"No master, you may do whatever you l-like to me…" He said. I frowned, grabbing his wrist and pulling him to my room. I shut the door and he stood in the middle of the room, watching me.

"Listen, Sauli. I don't want you to do ANY chores for me. I don't want to you to call me 'master'. I don't want you to act as if I OWN you. Because I don't. I just want you to act like a servant when my parents are around, okay? My name is ADAM!" He flinched a little and nodded, following me with his eyes. "Here," I said, throwing him a black t-shirt and the smallest pair of black skinny jeans I had. He looked at them, then back up at me.

"What would you like me to do with them, ma- Adam?" He gulped, looking uncomfortable. I smiled at him. Good, he called me by my name.

"Put them on. Then we are going shopping to get you some clothes that actually fit you," I said, shooing him off to the bathroom. As he was changing, I got ready, throwing on some gray skinny jeans and a black shirt with some sort of freakish design on it. I styled my hair, not doing much to it though. I liked the messy look. Last, I put on some eyeliner. I glanced at myself in the full-length mirror, ready to go.

"Can I come out now, mast…Adam…?" I heard Sauli call from the bathroom. I yelled back, telling him yes. He walked out, dressed in my oversized clothes. I looked him up and down, and then caught the expression on his face. His mouth was open wide, and he looked surprised. He quickly shut his mouth when he saw me catch him and cleared his throat. I wonder what he was looking at.

We got into my car and drove to the mall. Sauli was mostly silent for the ride. And when we got to the mall, he was holding open all the doors for me. I sighed and rolled my eyes, walking in to the mall. It wasn't very crowded, considering it was a Wednesday. So Sauli had no reason to be fifteen feet behind me at all times. I stopped walking and turned around, waiting for him to make his way to me. When he did, I linked my arm through his and smiled at him. I didn't want him walking so far behind me.

I could get used to this.


	3. Rubber Duck Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos!

Sauli:

The mall was interesting. I had never been to a place like it before because I never had the privilege of doing such a thing. However, Adam seemed to love doing this shopping. He would lead me from one store to the other, giggling and pointing at everything. He grabbed armfuls of clothes and threw them at me, ordering me to try them on, and then walk out. He was practically bouncing off walls and swooning the entire time, which I thought was odd. It excited him for me to try on the attire he chose for me to wear. He suggested I find something I like, but I was not entirely sure what to look for so he ended up buying three bags of clothes for me, and five for him. It was insane! We spent like a gazillion hours there; Adam even made me tell him what I thought of the clothes he tried on. Of course, I told him they were all fabulous and he seemed to believe me…

When we finally went back to his house, he threw the bags on the bed and clapped, grinning at me. "Alight! Since you now have fabulous clothes, you need to get clean and throw these ratty things away!" he told me, pointing to my regular clothes. "Go into the bathroom and take a bath! Then I'll put you into your cute new pajamas!" he said and I tilted my head to the side. He wanted me to actually take a bath and all that just so I could look nice in my new clothes?

"A bath…? You want me to take one?" I asked and he nodded, sauntering to his large master bathroom that connected to his regular bedroom. I quickly followed, watching him turn on the faucet and the water started rushing into the hot tub sized tub. "Oh, I use to take these with my masters…" I muttered and I heard Adam sigh, dipping his hand into the water to check the temperature.

"Well, you're a big boy, so I think you can take one by yourself, okay?" he said, pouring some pink liquid into the water and bubbles started to form. I wanted to poke at them and make them pop. It looked so fun. I wanted to play with the bubbles too… "Get undressed and into the tub." I glanced up at him skeptically.

"You mean…you don't want me to...um…" I started to say and Adam shook his head, running his fingers through his large hair.

"No. Now get undressed! Do you want me to stay in the bathroom with you? Or leave you alone?" he asked, and I looked at the ground, shrugging. "I'll stay," he said, covering his eyes and turning the other way. I took this as the incentive to strip from my clothes and get into the water. Therefore, I carefully took off all my clothes and dipped into the water, biting my bottom lip so I didn't moan at the relaxation that washed other me. I sat down fully, the bubbles surrounding me and I wanted to start jumping around in them. Adam uncovered his eyes and grinned at me, poking my nose.

"You're like a puppy dog!" he said and I looked at him in confusion and shrugged. He got up and went over to the counter, doing something that I could not see, but I didn't really care or want to pay attention. He was simply my master and his methods of doing things baffled me, but I wouldn't take any of it into consideration.

My eyes landed on a little yellow rubber ducky floating in the water. I swiftly looked over at Adam and saw that he was occupied. I looked back at the duck and grabbed it with both my hands, sticking my tongue out the side of my mouth as I made him swim in the water. He dipped under then went back up, gliding across the water. The corner of my lips twitched as I made him swim. It was fun…

Suddenly, there was another duck in the water and I jumped a little, letting go of the duck and gasping. Adam was on his knees outside the tub; his hand was in the water holding another duck and he smiled at me. "Can I play with you?" he asked, grabbing my duck and handing it back to me. My mouth opened a little and I looked back down at the water.

"I-If…you would like to ma…Adam…" I whispered and looked back over at him to see his freckled lips stretched. He seemed to smile a lot and I thought it was weird. I gently grabbed my toy back from him, holding it close to me.

"What's my name?" he asked again and I looked down at his hand that held the duck.

"Adam…and…y-your…duck's name is…Cookie…" I told him softly, hoping I did not anger him. I heard him let out a feathery laugh and he nodded, looking at me with bright eyes.

"I love it. And what's your duck's name?" he asked and I bit my bottom lip, lifting my toy and gazing back at Adam. I was not sure where these names were coming from, but it felt right in same odd way.

"Um…what would you like to name it?" I asked softly and Adam let out a 'hmm' noise.

"How about Milk? So it's like Cookie and Milk," he suggested and I nodded, holding Milk close to me.

"Okay…Um…Milk the Duck lives in a loving household…and his parents love him very much…and he has another duck that loves him very much. And they love each other…and he's really happy," I mumbled, looking down at the rubber toy. I am not sure where that came from but that was practically the life I wanted. It was what I yearned for and as a nineteen year old, I did not think it was too much to ask. However, it was apparently…

I looked over at Adam and looked down at his duck. "How about this…" he began to say and I stared at him with curious eyes. "Milk is a very pretty Finnish duck servant being passed from master to master. Then one day, Milk is sold to Cookie. At first, Cookie was not sure why he had a servant, but he knew he liked Milk very much because Cookie was very lonely. So he wants to be best friends with Milk. They are going to be very good friends and Cookie is never going to treat Milk like a servant…" he started and I was intrigued by what he just said. I loved it…

"Then does Cookie sell Milk to another master…?" I asked, curious what he was going to respond with.

He shook his head, looking me straight in the eyes with a warming smile. "Never. Cookie and Milk will be happy together for a very long time."

"Forever…and ever?" I asked and Adam nodded. My eyes gazed back to his duck and I bent down, gently kissing his bill and making Milk swim next to Cookie. Adam quickly looked at me and grinned, making the two ducks kiss. My lips twitched again and I let out an almost inaudible giggle.

"That was cute—" he began to say until there was a sudden knock on the door. I gasped, ducking under the water. I held my breath, glancing up at Adam through the water. He was blurry from the reflection, and then I saw he left. I was getting scared that he left, but then I remembered, I didn't care! He was my master and I hate him…just like every other master. I can't let myself get soft. Stupid Sauli, no…

I felt Adam's hand tap my shoulder and I bounced up from the water, gasping and coughing lightly. "Sorry, my dad's kind of a dick…" he mumbled, placing his hand on my hair and petting me with a tantalizingly beautiful smile. His eyes wavered and he sat there, staring and I shifted a bit, feeling uncomfortable. He cleared his throat, standing. "Um…clean yourself up, then we'll go to sleep, alright?" he said, leaving the bathroom. I nodded, staring at the water. It was weird. So weird. Everything…

I sighed, washing up (which I had not done in FOREVER—it was gross…) and feeling like a new person with my old skin shed. I was squeaky clean! I dried off putting on my new pajamas (which were blue and had penguins on them). I grabbed Cookie and Milk, walking out of the bathroom and seeing Adam already in bed. I silently scuttled up to him and handed him his duck. He took it and glanced up at me. "I'm sorry…you forgot Cookie," I mumbled, blushing and feeling embarrassed. He laughed, taking Milk from my hands and placing them next to each other on his nightstand. He patted the spot next to him and I quickly got under the covers, looking at him.

"Would you like me to tell you a story?" he asked, getting under the blanket and propping his elbow up on his pillow and resting his head on his hand. I raised an eyebrow at him, turning on my side so I could see him better. A story? I had…never heard one before. I loved his little Cookie and Milk story from before. Perhaps he could expand on that one? Only if he wanted to…

"A-About…Cookie and Milk?" I asked, not wanting to say the wrong thing. He giggled, poking my nose and shrugging.

"It can be anything you want it to be about…," he breathed. I blushed.

"Please…" I said, scooting a little closer, eager for story time, which I had never experienced before. He smiled, looking thoughtful, then back down at me.

"Alright! So one day Cookie and Milk were taking a leisure stroll through the park at night. Cookie loved to see all the stars and he wanted Milk to see them too because he thought he would like them! They decided to sit on the bench and stare up at the stars. Cookie was very happy he had Milk because all his life he had been lonely and he knew he had a very special connection with Milk…so…Cookie leaned over slowly…and…" he trailed off, looking lost in his thought, his eyes distant. He couldn't stop right there! I wanted to know what happens!

"P-Please go on master! Why did he lean down? Does he hit Milk?" I asked, scooting even closer to Adam so he could continue. Adam seemed to come back to earth and he laughed, shaking his head.

"Cookie would NEVER hit Milk! He just slowly leans over…and gives milk a gentle kiss on the lips…," he said, running his index finger over my lips and then quickly pulling back, sighing. I didn't understand what was going on though. I was so confused! Why was Master so confusing?

"Oh…Cookie wants to have sex with Milk…So he makes him?" I asked, frowning. Adam ran his hand down his face in frustration, and I bit my bottom lip. Uh oh…

"No...He doesn't want to have sex with him...he just…" then Adam sighed shrugging and I gently grabbed his sleeve shaking my head.

"What's wrong mas…Adam? What happened to Cookie?" I asked, looking at him intently. Adam turned his head and looked at me, a small smile on his lips.

"Nothing, just…Milk can't seem to realize that Cookie doesn't want him as a slave, that's all…," he said and I nodded.

"What can Milk do to make Cookie happy then?" I asked, gripping tighter onto his sleeve and he glanced down at my hand then frowned, looking at me.

"Milk can stop acting like a slave and…never mind…it doesn't matter," he mumbled, crossing his arms and I shook my head, gasping. I needed to know! Why was he being so distant? And for that matter, why was I even talking to him? This was not like me to demand something of my master…

"N-No…please tell me master," I asked, scooting closer to Adam so we were practically touching. He felt warm, but I did not want to have any sort of warmth for this man… I don't think…

"Well, he would kiss Milk…" he said, looking at the covers, but I wasn't satisfied.

"Why? Does Cookie like Milk?" I asked and Adam nodded, smiling softly at me.

"I guess he kind of does…Cookie sort of believes in love at first sight and universal connections. Like the universe is supposed to bring two people together," he said and I shook my head, letting go of his sleeve.

"But Cookie is a master and Milk is a lowly servant! Master cannot like servant!" I claimed. Adam growled, glaring at me and sitting up, pointing at me.

"Fuck! I ain't your master Sauli! It doesn't matter!" he yelled and a spark went up in me and I felt nausea and I wanted to throw up. I immediately sat up on my knees bowing to him and shaking slightly, shutting my eyes.

"I-I am so sorry f-for angering you, M-Master. Please forgive me…" I stuttered, and I tensed when I heard Adam gasp lightly, touching my shoulder. Okay, I was so stupid for feeling warm on the inside or anything! This is all my fault, god damnitt!

"N-No, Sauli, I am so sorry…I didn't mean what I said, I'm so sorry for yelling…It's my fault for being so god damn impatient! I shouldn't expect you to get use to all this so quickly," he said, touching my face and lifting me up. "It's my fault…"

"N-No, it's my f-fault…f-forgive...me, please…" I said, cringing from his touch and he frowned, shaking his head.

"I'M Sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you…," he said, rubbing my cheek gently and I glanced at him, shaking a little less, but still cringing.

"I-I'm sorry…I just wish to make you happy like Milk wishes to make Cookie happy," I mumbled, feeling my face heat up. Adam's eyes widened and he smiled a little, placing his hand on my shoulder. He sat next to me, nodding.

"Don't worry, Sauli! Even knowing you already a day, I know you make me happy." I nodded slowly, looking down at my hands.

"So…it's not a trick…you are a very nice master, thank you," I said then Adam stopped and looked at me.

"A trick? Why would I trick you?" he asked and I nodded.

"Because…all masters and mean and you could just be tricking me for your own amusement…" I said, and I heard Adam growl a little and I looked up at him and he seemed to be angered again.

"How could you think that Sauli? I am…your friend. How could I ever trick you?" he asked, his voice sounding hurt. I inhaled and shrugged.

"Because…all masters are mean…you shouldn't be nice to slaves…" I said truthfully. I felt the bed shift, and I looked up at Adam. He frowned.

"Ugh, Sauli…Just…Never mind…," he said, walking into the bathroom and shutting the door. I cringed, my mouth opening lightly from shock and I shook. I had angered my master…

…and I was going to be punished…


	4. Scars Don't Heal

Adam:

I lifted my head out of my hands and looked around. I didn't know how long I had been in the bathroom. I just knew that I was tired. Tired of Sauli treating me like a "master". I never have been and never will be his master! I don't know why he doesn't understand that! I don't understand Sauli. But in the back of my head, I knew he couldn't control the way he was. It was all he knew. He had never actually had a family. I shouldn't expect him to change so quickly, but I was irrationally impatient...

I sighed and stood up, looking at myself in the mirror. My eyeliner was smudged and my hair was a mess. I didn't really care though; I just wanted to go to sleep. I rubbed my left eye, yawning and walking out of the bathroom. I walked over to the bed, about to collapse onto the mattress, when I saw something unusual on the other side. I peered over the edge of the bed, seeing Sauli laying on the floor, his head turned to the side and his eyes closed. He was on his stomach and, even though he looked like he was in an awkward position, he looked adorable. I had to admit that I had SOME sort of feelings for him. Love at first sight. I mean, I told him that before! And he yelled at me for it…

I walked over to him, squatting down and pulling him into my arms. I stood up, walking a few steps and placing him on the bed. I pulled the covers over him, watching him sleep silently. I started to walk away, towards the other side of the bed, when I heard him mumble something.

"N-no..." he said. He moved around a little bit. I watched him intently. What was he dreaming about? "P-please, master… I'm s-so s-sorry… don't…" He mumbled again. Was he dreaming about me? About me… hurting him? Why would he be dreaming about that? What did I do to trigger this? A million questions were swarming in my head, and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should wake him up or let him sleep! Obviously, he was having a nightmare, and no one liked having nightmares…

I leaned over and gently shook him by the shoulders. He mumbled something in Finnish that I didn't understand. He started to get louder, and suddenly, tears were streaming from his eyes. He still wasn't awake though. I lifted up my hand and lightly tapped his cheek a few times. His eyes suddenly opened, and he started crying hard, trying to say something but I couldn't understand. I wiggled myself into the bed, wrapping my arms around him.

"Shhh, Sauli, it's okay. It's just me. Calm down," I said, pulling him close. He buried his face in my chest and continued to cry. When he started to calm down a bit, he looked up at me.

"I'm s-so sorry for a-angering you, Master…" he said to me, putting his head down again. His arms loosely wrapped around me, and I had a feeling he had no idea what was going on. Sauli wouldn't just become one hundred percent trusting of me over night. It doesn't happen like that.

"Shh, it's okay Sauli. I won't hurt you," I said, trying to calm him down. Soon, he was only slightly shaking, no more tears falling. His heartbeat started to slow, and he no longer sniffled. He turned around in my arms, so I could hold onto him. His slow breathing made me happy, and I hummed a little bit, something from a song I had written, as I fell asleep holding him in my arms.

…

I opened my eyes, looking around the room. I blinked a few times, making my eyesight clear. I dropped my head back down onto the pillow, looking at what I was holding in my arms. Sauli had slept soundlessly all night, after the nightmare, of course. But other than that, he wasn't hyperventilating anymore and I never had to wake up and calm him down, so that must be a good sign.

I pulled him close to me as I thought. Maybe this whole situation could have brought Sauli and me closer. Maybe he is finally starting to realize that I won't hurt him. That I am different. I really wanted to make him understand that, because it has been hard so far, and I don't need any more of this stress.

I felt a movement in my arms, and Sauli shifted, turning so he was facing me. He smiled at first, blinking a little, just as I had done. Then he saw me clearly. His eyes widened and he struggled to pull away. I tightened my grip on him, not letting go.

"Mas… Adam… What are you doing?" Sauli asked, still struggling. I wouldn't let go through. I had a plan to make him trust me, and I wouldn't stop until I succeeded.

"I'm going to teach you to trust me Sauli, I will! Just give me a chance! Stop struggling!" I said, holding him tighter as he continued to struggle in my arms. He moaned and whined.

"Please, Adam, I can't do this…" he mumbled, trying to pull his hands from his sides to push me away. It wasn't going to work. I was going to teach him something, and he wasn't going to stop me.

"No, Sauli! I WILL teach you to trust me!" I said, squeezing him tighter, if that was even possible. He sighed and looked up at me. His eyes were pleading, and I wanted to give in, to give him what he wanted, but I couldn't. I couldn't go down that easy. I had to put up a fight, to make him learn this. If I didn't now, I never would! I know myself well enough to understand that I had to do this now.

I gave Sauli a stern look and he sighed again, looking down. "Okay, what would you like me to do? Just lay here?" He asked, wiggling a little, slowly trying to ease himself out of this.

"No, hug me back!" I said. He looked at me wide eyed and sighed. He pulled up his arms from his sides and wrapped them around me, hugging me tightly. I smiled at him as he looked up at me.

"I'm hugging you. Are you happy? Can we please let go now?" Sauli looked annoyed, and I hated making him annoyed, especially at me, but I had to keep this going if I wanted him to trust me.

My smile faded to a frown quickly. "Why? You don't like my hugs?" Sauli opened his mouth to say something, then looked away and buried his face in the pillows. He groaned and looked back up at me. His eyes were pleading again; I could tell he didn't want to answer me. "Well what about my kisses?" I asked him as I lightly kissed his temple. I felt him freeze up as I pulled away. "What about that?"

"I… I…" He couldn't say anything else. Maybe I had pushed it too far…

I mentally slapped myself. No, you did not push it too far, Adam! You are trying to make him trust you! It's fine! He is nervous because he isn't used to this! He isn't nervous because you kissed him! It was only a kiss on his temple, anyways!

I sighed. "I'll always be gentle with you, Sauli. I won't hurt you, okay? We can hang out, do anything you want, talk, just like friends do, okay? Do you understand now?" I just wanted him to get this. I've never had to deal with something like this and I had to admit, it was really hard. I wonder if any other masters have ever done anything like this…

"I… It's hard for me, Adam. No other masters have ever treated me like this… It's so different…," I didn't know if he minded me being like this, or if he liked it better now. I hoped it was the second option, because there was no way in HELL I would ever treat him as a slave!

"I know it is, but you just have to trust me first, okay?" I said to him. I unwrapped my arms and he slowly sat up. I did too, looking at him. "Just try. For me," I said. He nodded, and I smiled at him. I hoped this would last.

We both got out of bed, and Sauli went into the bathroom to change. I only changed clothes, leaving my hair as is and smudging on some eyeliner. I just wanted to have a laid-back day, where Sauli and I could hang out. Therefore, I didn't put on anything big.

When Sauli emerged from the bathroom, I immediately grabbed his hand. It was warm. It felt nice. "So what do you want to do today?" I asked him. He looked at our hands and blushed, then looked back up at me.

"I don't know, A-Adam, I'm not really used to this, I'm sorry…" Sauli looked down at our hands again and I started rubbing the back of his hand with my thumb.

"It's okay! We'll go out by the pool then!" I said. Sauli smiled slightly at me and we started walking. As we walked, he started talking about how he loved the outdoors and gardening was the only thing he liked that his masters used to make him do. I'd never seen him open up so much before. It was a whole other side to him.

I laughed as he talked, and eventually we got to the pool. I sat down on the edge and pulled Sauli down, setting him on my lap. I held onto both of his hands and we dipped our feet in the cool blue water. Sauli giggle and kicked his feet. I smiled and laughed with him, doing the same. I was happy I could make him happy.

Sauli let go of one of my hands and leaned into the pool, grabbing some water and splashing it up at me, soaking my face. I laughed, closing my eyes as he splashed more water on me. I placed my free hand on his back, lightly pushing him. He slipped off my lap, splashing into the water. He kept a tight hold on my hand, causing me to fall off the edge and into the pool with him. I laughed as I came up above the water. I looked at Sauli and he was giggling. He clung to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I walked, moving us to the shallow end of the pool.

Sauli leaned his head on my chest and I put my arms around his waist, holding onto him. He pulled his head away from my chest a few seconds later, looking up at me. He was smiling a little, and I smiled back. Then my smile faded, and I leaned down slowly, tiling my head to the side. Sauli's face went nervous, but I kept going. Our lips met, and I only kept my lips on his for a few seconds before I felt Sauli freeze. I pulled away quickly. "Oh my God, I'm so s-sorry, Sauli… It's just, I haven't been with someone in a while and you're so pretty and… shit, I ruined everything didn't I?"

Sauli looked into my eyes, and then said, "No… I like your lips, Adam..." He reached his hands up and wrapped them around my neck, pulling my head down and pressing our lips together. I kissed him back, loving the feeling of his lips on mine. I felt like this was supposed to happen, like Sauli and I were meant to kiss. It felt too amazing to mean nothing.

I ran my tongue over Sauli's bottom lip and he moaned, opening his mouth for me. I slowly moved us, pressing Sauli up against the poolside. I pressed our hips together as I fought his tongue for dominance. He moaned again, obviously not used to kissing. I rolled my hips into his, feeling myself get hard. All of a sudden, Sauli pulled away, gasping.

"N-No… Adam… P-Please don't…" Sauli said, turning his head to the side.

I was panting, eager to keep kissing his soft lips. "W-What are you talking about, Sauli?" I asked him, giving him a confused look.

"Don't… Force me t-to have sex with y-you… I s-shouldn't have kissed you back, I'm s-sorry…" My eyes went wide at his response, and I couldn't believe what he was saying. I screw everything up, god dammit!

"I… would never Sauli… But maybe we shouldn't have k-kissed…" I said, looking away. I let him go, running my hand through my hair. I screw everything up! I sighed, "You can go inside now…" I had something to do before I could go inside myself…

I watched Sauli as he climbed out of the pool and walked towards the door.

Why does all the crazy shit happen to me?


	5. Chill Out

I quickly shut the door, biting my bottom lip and sighing, trying to calm myself. Did all that really just happen? I am so stupid; I shouldn't have allowed myself to be caught up in…kisses and nominal feelings. I was so naïve, it was pathetic. I just needed my brain to work functionally again. I never kissed my masters like that before, yet…there was a part of me that loved it and wanted more, but I knew I could not give into these feelings. Soon, they would abate and I could get on with my life, knowing Adam was just another master…I would not give into my desires because I knew that never led into anything productive…

After swiftly changing into something drier, (I could not believe I was sidetracked with playing in the pool with him either—it was fun I'll admit, but I totally let my guard down) I frowned, taking in a deep breath. If I don't see my master, I'll just clean up the bedroom until he gives me further orders. That is all I will do. I was praying to god he was not there. I exited the bathroom and much to my dismay, I saw Adam, fixing his hair but then he turned around, looking at me with a stern look. My heart was beating in my throat and I knew I was going to have to endure something. I just hoped it wasn't physical or something. Just let him go easy on me please…

"Adam…Master, I am sorry for my behavior…" I mumbled, looking at the ground so I didn't have to make eye contact with him. It would just be awkward and I feel terrible about all that I had done. I led him on, when I know deep in my heart, I don't even like him. Love at first sight, yes, I believe in it, but…this is different…So much more different.

He sighed. "Sauli, we should talk…I don't think you're in a very healthy state right now. And all I want to do is help you and make you…trust people again and become a normal part of civilization as a regular human being…Not like a servant," he said, a small smile forming on his lips and I shook my head; everything he said went in one ear and out the other. It did not matter…He may claim he wants to help me for my own benefit, but it will give him some sort of advantage in the end.

"I don't like discussing my personal life, Adam…I'm sorry, but it's…not a happy story and…" I bit my bottom lip, attempting to hold back tears. Oh my god, I hadn't even started saying anything and I already feel like I want to break down and sob. "Besides…Telling long stories in English are hard for me," I lied and glanced up, seeing Adam cross his arms and raise an eyebrow. I shuddered lightly and he sighed, running his fingers through his hair, his vibe giving off frustration.

"Sauli, it's okay to open up…It really helps…I wanna know more about you since ya know, we're gonna be spending a lot more time together. And…I promise after you tell me about you, I'll tell you about me. I just want to know the real you, as cheesy as that sounds," Adam said, a smile tugging on his freckled lips. I shook my head, and he sighed, walking up to me and grabbing my hand, tugging me onto his bed so we were sitting across from one another. He let go of my hand and made me face him.

"Adam, I don't want to know more about myself. I've attempted to repress my past for so long…" I said, frowning and feeling utterly pathetic. I felt like cockroaches were crawling all over my skin and I wanted to puke. God, why are you so cruel to me? This situation was one I have been avoiding for years goddamn it.

Adam frowned too, looking at me, "I know it's hard. But it will help. I am sure of it. Please…" he pleaded and I gazed down at the comforter, knowing I won't be able to get out of this mess. Besides, he is my master and I have to listen to him. He was no exception. I do not want to be punished. Then I thought…I was not bought so I could tell him about my sob story. It makes no sense. It's all convoluted!

"Mast…Adam…your parents didn't buy me from my last master so I could tell you my life story, please drop—" then he cut me off, his eyebrows furrowed together in frustration and he sighed angrily.

"Well, they didn't buy you to be my friend, now did they? I don't care! Okay? I just want to treat you as if I would any of my other friends! I mean, if I had any, but whatever, just…" he sighed, reaching out and grabbing my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You can tell me anything…" He seemed so sincere and like he actually did want to help me, but that is how they get you. They lead you into a false sense of security…

I sighed, slowly looking up at Adam with an unsure look, "I was…sold when I was ten…to my first master…he was easy on me since I was so young, but as I grew older, they became more relentless. Only recently have I been used in bed since I just turned eighteen, but…" I took in a deep breath, gulping. Adam nodded and I licked my lips, feeling my mouth become dry. "…one day…about a year ago, I was sold to a master…like you…they were very kind to me, and were unlike all my other masters…" I felt like I might just start sobbing, but then I looked up at Adam and he was grinning.

"That's great Sauli! So he was nice to you and…" he trailed off when he saw my expression and I shook my head, wiping away the tears I felt at the barricades of my eyes.

"He was just like you…nice…then one day…he…got very mean. More mean than any of my other masters and he used me…in ways I had never been used before and…He just changed…" I choked up, feeling the tears fall from my eyes and I shook, wiping my eyes and whimpering. That was a memory I had been suppressing for months and then it finally came spiraling back into reality.

"Oh, my god, Sauli…That's so terrible," he said, squeezing my hand even tighter, but I didn't even hear what he said, all I could think about were those memories flooding back into my brain and circulating around it like barbed wire.

"I-I loved him so much…and he….I…" I could not talk anymore and I wanted to puke. My eyes widened and I sniffled, wiping my eyes and shaking like a leaf in the wind. I saw Adam's frown deepen and his eyes looked so sad. It was fallacious though…

"Oh, Sauli…I'm…" he leaned over, and I scooted away from him, whimpering and glaring at him. His eyes widened and he looked confused, tilting his head to the side.

"You'll be just like him! I'll think you are nice then fall into your trap! I don't wanna like you!" I exclaimed shaking my head and feeling delusional and light headed and like I might die. It all came flooding back too fast; it was all hard to comprehend.

"W-What? I would never do that Sauli! You know I wouldn't! I'm just…trying to help you, I'm sorry. Let me comfort you," he said, trying to get closer and I backed up against all the pillows, glaring at him.

"He said he would never hurt me either! You're both liars!" I claimed, watching him and hoping he would just leave me alone! I didn't need this and neither did he! I was broken and there was no fixing that!

He shook his head, "I know this is hard for you, Sauli. I know you have had a tough past, but…I like you too much to let you just fall apart! I don't know what to do anymore! I know it's only been a couple days, but I truly do believe in love at first sight, and…I just want to fix you!" he exclaimed, but all I heard was lies. There was nothing real there and eventually, he would show his true colors! Just like the master I had always loved…

I growled, feeling my face become even more wet, "Just sell me already! I am just causing you pain and stress! I'm sorry, master!" I told him and he shook his head and all I wanted to do was punch him! I have never felt like this before! My head was all clouded, but I knew what I was saying was wrong…though it was right in some diluted way; I was so confused.

"No, Sauli! I would never do that because I want to be with you! Something in my brain clicked when I first saw you and it's just like…God damnitt, I'm different from everyone else!" he yelled and I saw something drip from his eye and land on the comforter. My eyes widened and I choked on a breath. He looked to the side and wiped his eye and my mouth fell open. Was my master really crying? Masters never cry…And I caused his tears. Something snapped inside me and I didn't know what happened…

"Master…A-Are…you crying?" I asked, leaning forward so I could see his face. He shook his head, his bangs falling over his face

"Yea…I am…I just don't know what to do anymore," he murmured, wiping his eyes and rubbing his nose, sighing. Seeing Adam like this made my heart sad. I felt like I couldn't forgive myself for making someone cry…especially…Suddenly, I didn't feel like I wanted to punch him in the face. Even the master I had loved never cried…

"I…I'm sorry, master…I didn't mean to sadden you…" I said, slowly crawling over to him and nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck. I knew that I had mixed feelings towards him, and I was confused—all I knew was that I could not stand to see him cry.

"I-I just want you to trust me, but you seem to HATE me," he said and I shook my head, looking at him.

"No, I don't hate you! It is just me, Adam. I am broken. I'm incapable of trust," I told him and he shook his head, turning and looking at me, his eyes rimmed with red. I frowned, looking at his face, wanting to fix it all.

"No, you aren't. You just have to like…believe that I can help you because I can make you better, I know I can!" he said determined and it was cute (as much as I hated to admit it).

"Adam…I am broken, but maybe…you can be the one that fixes me…I'm sorry for being so complicated," I said and blushed, sighing and fiddling with my fingers. I glanced up and Adam was smiling, looking at me and wiped away any remaining tears on my cheeks.

"I believe in fate, and that the universe always has something planned. You fell into my life, and I fell into yours for a reason. It was to give you hope so I can make you feel better, I know it!" he said.

"I will try for you…" I claimed, gulping and smiling a little, embarrassed about the situation.

"That's all I can ask for. Thank you Sauli," he said, lifting his hand and cupping my cheek in his hand, rubbing it. I glanced up and he smiled, leaning down and gently pressing his lips against mine. It was simple and chaise, just our lips touching. I felt Adam smile and he pulled away, opening his mouth to say something, but I shook my head, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him back down so our lips touched once again. I moaned lightly into his mouth and he laughed into the kiss, wrapping his arm around my waist. "You certainly like kisses," and I blushed, pulling back only slightly, breathing heavily and looking up at Adam.

"I'm sorry…I just love…freckles," I said, placing my index finger on his lips where he had numerous freckles. My eyes were fixated on them and Adam grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers.

"I have a lot more where that came from. I have them EVERYWHERE," he said with a smirk and I blinked, glancing down and lifting up our hands, pointing to the back of his.

"…Do you mean like on the back of your hand? And your arm?" I asked, looking at them all and feeling excited. I fucking loved freckles.

"Of course…And OTHER places too," he said with the same seductive smirk. I wasn't entirely sure where he was getting at though. It confused me.

"May I see?" I asked and Adam blushed, shaking his head with a smile. He laughed a little, poking my nose.

"We'll save that for another day, Sauli," he said and I nodded, flushing even harder and building up my courage.

"That is alright Adam…I can settle for your lips…" And I leaned up and licked his lips, quickly pulling back and glancing up at him. His half smile widened even more and he grabbed my shirt, pulling me close so our lips greeted once again. I leaned in, straddling his lap and pushing him back. He braced himself with his hands until he eventually wrapped his arms around my waist and he fell back flat on his back and I had both my legs on either side of his hips, sucking on his bottom lip. He moaned and I returned the favor, shutting my eyes and clenching onto his shirt with my fists. He opened my mouth up with his tongue and I allowed full access, pulling back and hearing a soft pop of our tongues until going back in full throttle, licking the inside of his mouth. He laughed, pulling back and I whined, frowning.

"Whoa, Sauli. You've changed your mind this much since the pool?" he giggled and I blushed, sighing, leaning in for another kiss, but he shook his head, fluttering his eyes at me. "We're gonna take it slow…Trust takes time to mend…" he told me and I felt the coil of pleasure slowly release. He brought me down, wrapping his arms around my waist and rubbing the small of my back. He nuzzled into my neck and I moaned under my breath, shutting my eyes.

"I may trust…you a little," I said and he pulled back, kissing my nose.

"Then I'm on the right track."


	6. Maybe It's Going Too Fast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by this! http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/283484_256996900992403_2335062_n.jpg :)

Adam:

I pulled Sauli close to me, cuddling him to my side. He giggled, burying his face in my neck and clutching onto my arm. This is what I liked doing. Just laying here, cuddling, and being comfortable with each other. I don't know what made him change his mind about me so quickly, but I didn't mind. Maybe it was because he was so desperate to trust someone. To find humanity in this world. I love when Sauli trusts me, even in the week we knew each other. Because we can just hang out together as if we were friends. Not as if I knew what friends did together. I never really had friends as a kid. I was always the outsider, the different one…

I tried to think about something friends did together. I wanted to do something other than lay here, no matter how much I loved it. I shuffled through my old memories of sitting in the corner in the classroom, watching what the other kids did to try to get some inspiration. Nothing came to mind. Then I remembered something.

When I was younger, my mom and her friends would go out late at night sometimes. They would all be at our house, getting ready. They would get all dressed up and do something that I just found so interesting as a child. I gasped, sitting up and looking at Sauli.

"I have an idea!" I said, standing from the bed and grabbing Sauli's hand. I pulled him up, making him stand. Then I pulled him to the bathroom. When we got there, I lifted him up, putting him on the counter. He blushed, looking to the side with a small smile touching his lips.

"What are we doing?" he asked me once the redness had flushed from his face. I smiled, taking a deep breath and grabbing some eyeliner.

"Have you ever had your makeup done?" I asked him. I loved doing my own makeup and experimenting sometimes, but I had never done it on anyone else. I was eager to try. And I was going to go all out on Sauli. I had an Egyptian type of look in my head, and I was going to try to make it come to life.

Sauli shook his head, looking down. "No, I've always wanted to try it though. I think it's pretty. You're the only master I've ever had that wears it though…" He brought his hands together in his lap and fiddled with his fingers. I found it adorable how innocent he was all the time. I loved it.

"Well I'm going to do it for you today, okay? Sit still, this won't hurt…" I said, coming close to Sauli with the eyeliner. I was just about to touch the stick to his waterline when he flinched, making me back up. I chuckled, watching him reposition himself.

"Sorry about that…" he said. I smiled, shaking my head and coming closer again. He wiggled a lot, but I eventually got both eyes even. There was a thick line of black under each, making them pop.

"Am I going to look as pretty as you?" Sauli asked when I pulled back and reached for some eye shadow. I grabbed a silver-ish color and a brush, turning back to Sauli. He was flattering.

"No, you're going to look like you," I said, leaning close to him. "Close your eyes." He closed them swiftly, flinching a little when I touched the brush to his eyelids. I swept the color over his lids, evening it out. When I pulled away, he opened and I smiled at my work; I wasn't quite finished yet, though.

"Are you going to make me look pretty?" Sauli asked, smiling innocently at me. I smiled back, leaning close to him.

"You're pretty no matter what. Makeup or not," I said, and I pecked his lips. He giggled when I pulled away, mumbling a quick 'thank you' as I went back to work. Sauli closed his eyes, and I drew a thick line with black liquid eyeliner that extended out at the ends. I perfected it on both eyes. He opened them and I smiled wide, finally finished. I had to admit, I did a REALLY good job.

"Okay, you can look!" I said, excited to see his reaction. He took a deep breath and turned around, looking in the mirror. He gasped, grinning and leaning closer to the mirror so he could look closely.

"Oh my goodness..." Sauli jumped off the counter and ran over to me. He threw his arms around me. "I love it! Thank you!" I laughed, hugging Sauli back. He pulled away and glanced at himself in the mirror again.

"Really? I'm so glad, Sauli!" I said, hugging him from behind. He spun around in my arms and, before I realized what was happening, he placed his lips on mine, kissing me hard. I gasped into the kiss, not seeing it coming. I moaned though, and kissed back. Sauli pulled away, pushing me up against the wall and kissing me even harder. I moaned again as Sauli licked my lips. His tongue made its way into my mouth and his hands were tangled in my hair. He pulled on it, and I could feel myself getting hard. I loved rough things…

Sauli pulled away, biting at my neck. He licked the spot he had just kissed, and then pulled back, gasping. "Adam! I found more freckles!" He said. I laughed as he stared. I pulled him up by his shirt, making him kiss me again. He moaned, and then pulled away quickly. I looked at him, confused.

"Um…" Sauli could not figure out what to say. I could tell.

"What is it? Did I do something wrong?" I asked him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He looked to the side and down at the ground. He bit his bottom lip, looking at his fingers and fidgeting with them again. I was starting to catch the little things he did when he was nervous or uncomfortable.

"Uh… We shouldn't… Kiss anymore… I'm sorry…" He said. He glanced up at me for one second, and then looked away again. For the second he looked up at me, I caught confusion in his eyes. He was confused about something. Maybe he had a feeling he did not understand…

I gasped. "What? Why? What did I do?" I asked. I felt bad, guilty, even though I didn't know what I had done yet. But I knew I did something wrong, because I always ended up screwing things up. That's how I lost my one and only friend in sixth grade. But I didn't want to get into that.

After a moment of him not answering, I spoke up again. "Tell me, Sauli. Please. Do you want to be in a committed relationship or something? Because I can do that…" I said, looking down at the ground.

When I looked back up, I saw Sauli's eyes widen as he looked at me. "What? No! It's just that… I…" He wouldn't spit it out, and it was killing me.

"You what, Sauli?" I asked, trying to get it out of him. I wasn't a patient person, and he needed to spit it out! I needed to know if I did something wrong or not!

"I don't know Adam! I just don't want to kiss anymore! I like it too much!" Sauli said. My eyes widened and he quickly covered my mouth. My surprised expression quickly turned into a wild smirk. I stalked towards Sauli slowly.

"Oh, you do?" I said, pushing him up against the wall. He wiggled, trying to get free. I wouldn't let him. I heard him moan under his breath, and I leaned down, whispering something in his ear. "I can make you like so much more than just kissing…" I nipped at Sauli's ear lobe, and he moaned, pulling me by my shirt so he could meet my lips. I felt his knee come up and rub into my crotch and I moaned, gabbing Sauli's legs while keeping our lips connected. I lifted him up and he wrapped his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist.

I kept our lips connected and slowly walked out of the bathroom, making my way to the bed. I placed Sauli down and broke the kiss. Sauli moaned and I climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. I licked at his lips and grinded our hips together.

"Mmm, Master…" Sauli moaned. And, as much as I hated Sauli calling me master, that was just hot… When he used it in a dirty way, it just turned me on so much more.

I reached for the hem of Sauli's shirt, pulling it up over his head and throwing it to the side. I leaned down and licked at Sauli's neck, sucking hard and leaving a visible hickey. But before I moved away, I saw something red on Sauli's back. I leaned over him a little more, getting a better look at what was covering him. I gasped, sitting up so I was sitting on Sauli's stomach. Sauli looked at me, confused. Then his eyes widened and he pushed me off him, grabbing his shirt and throwing it on. I just looked at him in awe.

"Sauli…What are those?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAM


	7. Battle Scars

Sauli:

"Sauli…what are those?"

I gasped, immediately grabbing my shirt and pulling it back on. I was so stupid! How could I let him see those? I was such an idiot! I totally let my guard down with idle kisses and touches and…He was just so pretty and sweet to me that I totally disregarded the fact that just…I was so confused! I don't even know what to think anymore…All I knew was that I should not have been too wrapped up in candy kisses with those freckled lips of his. God damn it! I hate my love for them...

"Sauli! What are those?" he exclaimed again and I shook my head, holding my shirt and looking down at the comforter. There was no way I was going to show him…or tell him anything…No way… "Sauli, there are just some things you need to talk about…This is another part of trusting me…" he said and I shook my head, whimpering. I did not want to trust him as much as he shoved it down my throat. This sucked.

"No, Adam…I don't want to tell you anything else…Please don't make me tell you," I pleaded, just wanting to drop the entire subject because it was not worth getting into. I know he just wanted to talk out everything, but I didn't like doing that! I was not a talkative person and I never will be! He needs to accept the fact that I was just me…a repressed sad little thing…Ugh.

"Sauli, I can't help you with your problems if you don't ever talk to me about them…Come on, this is another part of trusting me…" He said again, reaching over and starting to lift up my shirt. I cringed, biting my bottom lip.

I shook my head, pushing him away (harder than I anticipated) and said, "No, master! Please don't!" Then I heard a thump and a soft "Oww" and I opened my eyes looking on the bed and not seeing Adam. I crawled over to the edge and saw him rubbing his head and there was a bit of blood trickling down his temple. "Oh my god, Adam! I am so sorry! Please forgive me, I didn't mean too!" I said, freaking out on the inside because I had harmed him without the intent too. I had never done that before and I knew that with any of my other masters I would be severely punished! Could I trust Adam enough not to hurt me? I just don't know! It was all so confusing. I hate this…

I quickly grabbed him from the floor, pulling him onto the bed and he fell on top of me limp. I gasped, poking his cheek, thinking he had passed out. He was rather heavy and I huffed, rubbing the side of his temple and wiping away the blood. I frowned, patting his head. Suddenly, Adam had both my hands pinned above my head and a stern look plastered on his face. HE WAS FAKING.

"I'm not going to hurt you…I just wanna see so I can help you…Stop wiggling, stay still!" he exclaimed and I shook, looking up at him, feeling tears form in my eyes. This was so much pressure and I could not handle it!

"P-Please don't make me show you…P-Please, Adam," I said, frowning and feeling the tears break the barrier and trickle down my cheeks. Adam gasped and shook his head, releasing my arms and immediately wiping the tears away with his soft thumb.

"D-Don't cry, I'm sorry, I just…I just want to help you…" he sighed, still sitting on my stomach and I figured a light bulb went off in his head because he suddenly smiled at me. I sniffled, wiping my nose and feeling the tears dry from my sudden outburst. "If you show me what's on your back, I will show you all my freckles! Is that a good deal?" he asked and I inhaled deeply, blushing. The offer was tempting. I loved freckles…I have only seen the freckles on his exposed skin so far…I want to see so much more, but was it really worth it? I knew eventually I would have to show him my battle scars. I might as well get his freckles out of it because I loved them so much…

I stopped struggling and started to breathe normally and I relaxed a little, sighing. Just give in. "O-Okay…Because…I really like freckles," I said and he laughed getting off me and I sat up, frowning at him and glancing to the side. "Okay…" I said again, taking in a large breath. Adam smiled, leaning in and pressing his addictive lips to mine and I whimpered as he gripped onto the hem of my shirt, lifting it up and our lips parts so he could fully remove it. I looked at him then quickly turned over so he could see my scars. I heard him gasp and I glanced at him from over my shoulder. His eyes were wide with shock. It was probably something he had never seen before. "I-It's really not as bad as it looks…It only hurts if you slap them or I lay on them too long…It hurt the most when I received them, but…" I trailed off, feeling ashamed. I never should have allowed my masters to do this kind of damage on me, but I was too weak to say anything else… "I'm sorry," I said involuntarily, I felt Adam tug my shirt back on, and I turned around to see him looking even more sorrowful then before. I frowned at him, feeling my heart beat in a sad melody.

"Sauli, you don't have anything to be sorry about…You're so damn gorgeous, all of you," he said, petting my head and I frowned deeper, taking it all in as a lie. No masters ever thought that…

"Really? Because all my other masters called me ugly for it…And I always thought—" I started to say until I felt his lips press up against mine and I moaned lightly into the kiss and he pulled back, shaking his head.

"You're always so beautiful to me. And that's all that matters," he said and I blushed, looking up at him, feeling better about myself. He really was different in some sick, twisted, and disturbed way I wasn't sure of.

"May…May I see your freckles now?" I asked and I guess it was his turn to look uncomfortable because he bit his bottom lip, fiddling with the comforter. I suddenly felt bad and shook my head. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked…" I told him and he shook his head, smiling. I glanced up at him, curious to see if he was actually going to do it.

"No, a deal's a deal…" he said, lifting up his shirt and sighing. "I just really hate all my freckles…They're so gross and ugly…" he mumbled as my mouth fell open. It was as if his body was a canvas for scattered orange dots and I loved it all! He even had orange chest hair and it was amazing! I was not sure why, but I had a thing for freckles and Adam was like the KING of it. He has such pale skin then just a litter of orange dots! I felt my heart race and a light smile touch my lips.

I crawled over to Adam, sitting in front of him and poked his chest, running my finger between his pecks and observing each freckles. "No…You're the most  _upea_  person I have ever seen," I mumbled, placing my hand flat on his chest. He raised an eyebrow at me. I felt his heart beat on my palm and it seemed to be picking up pace.

"What does upea mean?" he asked and I blushed, shrugging.

"It means….gorgeous…you're the prettiest boy I have ever seen…" I breathed, glancing up at him and he blushed, smiling lightly at me, poking my nose.

"Thank you, Sauli. I think you're the prettiest person I have ever seen too," he told me, leaning down and kissing my cheek. I smiled a little at him.

"I also think you're the nicest person I have ever met…" I said and he grinned, grabbing my waist and falling back on the pillows, holding me loosely. I blushed again, yawning a little.

"Thanks, I'm trying my best for you," he said and I laced our fingers together, shutting my eyes. It was a productive day, nonetheless. We did make up then some other stuff and discussed problems and scars, I guess. We didn't really talk about it, but I didn't' want to so—

Suddenly a tingly feeling made its way up to my head and I gasped, biting my bottom lip so I didn't moan like some bitch. I felt it again and I was in such bliss, I could not figure out what was happening until I felt a pair of soft lips make contact with my back. On one of my healed scars. Just that chaste touch sent electrical shocks of pleasure running up and down my spine. I had never felt like this before, even during sex…

"A-Adam…." I whispered, reaching back and grabbing onto his hair, tugging on it. I felt him smirk and kiss again and I shut my eyes, gasping, squeezing onto his locks even tighter.

"What's wrong?" he asked under his breath and I shook, releasing his hair and scooting away from him, out of his grasp, not wanting to fall captive to his kisses AGAIN.

"N-Nothing," I stuttered. I felt the bed shift and Adam's tongue trail along my back, I let out a long moan, and I reached back, grabbing Adam's hair again, tugging at it. "Adammm," I groaned and he kept kissing…kissing…"G-God damnitt, fuck, master!" I yelled then felt a shudder run down my spine and something wet in my pants. My eyes widened and I panted, suddenly realizing what had happened! This had never happened before though! What? GOD DAMNITT!

"Um…" I turned my head and saw Adam blushing, but a kind of arousal in his eyes.

"I-I'm so sorry…T-This has never happened before, I don't…" I tried to say and Adam looked down, shaking his head.

"I-I'm sorry too…" he said. I gulped.

"I made this awkward…I…I didn't, just…" then Adam interrupted me.

"Well, not that awkward. I mean, I can still totally make it happen again…" he said then looked up at me. I blushed, my eyes widening. He smirked, crawling closer to me and I shook my head, gasping.

"N-No! I didn't say anything!" I claimed, backing up until I fell off the bed with a loud thump. Adam gasped and rushed to the edge.

"Are you okay, Sauli?" he asked and I saw him, reaching up and grabbing the collar of his shirt with both my hands and pulling him down so our lips met. I leaned back and he fell on top of me, both his hands on either side of my face and his legs on either side of my legs. "Nngh, you're so dirty, Sauli," he said, rolling over so I was on top of him. I smirked slightly, bouncing on top of his stomach and hearing him let out ragged moans. I went down, cupping his face and letting my tongue fall into his mouth. He moaned, taking it between his teeth and sucking. I closed the gap, kissing him hard and racking my nails down his chest.

Adam grunted and lifted his hips up and I felt his hand trail up my leg. It reached to my butt then to my crotch. I gasped, shuddering and looking at him. He gave me a dorky grin and had his index finger trail across my zipper. I sat up, putting my index finger on his lips and forced its way into his mouth. He gasped, shutting his eyes and happily sucking on my finger. I groaned, falling to the side and grabbing his arms, snuggling into him.

"You're my favorite…" I said, shutting my eyes. He laughed, reaching over and hugging me close to him.

"You're my favorite too."


	8. Opened Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Jesse McCartney's "Beautiful Soul" :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQLKHXhSHno

Adam:

I walked around the room, picking up clothes and other things that were lying on the floor. I wouldn't say that I was a neat freak, but I liked things clean. It's not like I would freak out if they weren't, but you know.

I had to admit that I was starting to develop even DEEPER feelings for Sauli. How could someone not though? He is so innocent, sweet, and cute… Well, until it comes to anything CLOSE to dirty…

Then he becomes some wild beast or something… It's not as if I minded though. I had always liked things on the rough side. It made things like kissing more interesting and more fun. But other than that, Sauli was just an amazing person that I could be with all the time and never get bored. I already felt like I could tell him anything! He was like my best friend. And now I was falling for my best friend… The first best friend I ever had… I could ruin our friendship with my stupid feelings. And that's why I wasn't telling him.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think keeping feelings bottled up is good, but I just have a feeling that Sauli doesn't feel the same way. I have a feeling that, to him, kissing is what normal friends do. And I didn't want to stay in the friend zone… It wasn't fun to be in.

I walked around the bed, glancing at Sauli as I made my way to the other side. He was sitting crisscrossed, playing with his hands in his lap. I started humming to myself, just the melody of a song I had been working on. I don't know if you know this, but I love to sing. It was the only thing that kept me sane when I was younger. Because, of course, I had no friends.

Sauli looked up at me and stared. I turned to face him and smiled. "Do you sing?" He asked me. I blushed, turning to my bedside table and picking up the unneeded wrappers and garbage. I hesitated for a bit, not knowing what to say. If I told him that I sing, he would probably ask me to sing FOR him. Which I really didn't want to do.

"Uh, yea… I have ever since I was young. I used to call music my 'escape from reality'…" I said, looking up at him again. He had a smile on his face. He reached out and pulled me by the shirt, making me fall onto the bed next to him. He giggled and sat across from me so we were facing each other.

"Will you sing for me, Adumb?" Sauli asked, smiling cutely. I opened my mouth to say something, and then closed it, getting nervous and shy. I rarely got shy… It was something I hadn't been since sixth grade when I tried to make friends.

"I… I don't know, Sauli…" I said, biting my lip and looking to the side. Sauli frowned, reaching over and grabbing my chin, bringing my face back up to eye level with his. He ran he thumb over my bottom lip, making my stop biting it.

"Please?" He said, removing his hand and smiling sweetly. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to sing, but I didn't want to make Sauli sad or upset. That was the last thing I needed. Then I would have to make him happy again… Somehow…

I sighed. "Okay, fine…" Sauli smiled big and clapped a little bit. I smiled back at him, but it wasn't a big smile. I wasn't too thrilled about this idea. "I don't know what to sing though."

Sauli leaned over, grabbing the collar of my shirt and kissing me hard but quick, and then pulled away. He was about an inch away from my face when he mumbled, "Sing whatever you're feeling right now…"

I felt my heart start pumping faster. I knew exactly what to sing. I pulled Sauli into my lap, wrapping my arms around his waist and kissing his temple. I started humming quietly into his ear and slowly eased into singing the lyrics to the perfect song.

"I don't want another pretty face, I don't want just anyone to hold, I don't want my love to go to waste, and I want you and your beautiful soul…" I sang every word with my feelings in them. I was hoping so badly that Sauli would catch on. I had dedicated this song to him a while ago, but I never actually planned to sing it for him. He wouldn't understand anyways…

Breezing through the first verse and chorus, I began the second chorus. Soon I had finished that, too. My nerves were starting to fade. I had never actually sung in front of anyone, but I liked the feeling of it. It made me want to perform in front of millions of people and not just one. But that probably wouldn't happen anyways. America doesn't like gay people. I probably don't even have a chance at becoming a recording artist one day.

"Am I crazy for wanting you? Baby do you think you could want me too? I don't want to waste your time… Do you see things the way I do? I just wanna know, could you feel it too? There is nothing left to hide!" That was the part of the song that had the most feeling to me. Every word was describing my exact feelings for Sauli. I wanted to just hold him every night, call him mine. Not that I had anyone to tell that to, but whatever. This song meant everything to me.

I finished the song, holding the last note a bit longer than normal. Sauli immediately started clapping. I blushed, smiling and burying my face into the crook of his neck. "Adam! You are really good! You should be famous!" He said. I blushed even more. He jumped out of my lap so he could face me.

"Thank you, Sauli…" I said, looking down. Before I could look up again, I felt Sauli's hands on my chest. He pushed me down on my back and straddled my waist. He kissed me hard, pulling back and licking my lips. I pulled back, sitting up and taking Sauli off my lap. "Let's not kiss right now…" I said, looking at him sorrowfully.

Sauli looked at me, his mouth slightly opened. "D-Did I do something wrong…? I'm sorry, Adam…" He said. I frowned at him, standing up from the bed.

"No, you didn't, it's just… never mind…" I said, feeling awkward. I just wanted to go hide myself. I regretted all of this. The kissing, the singing to him, all of it. I shouldn't have ever kissed him.

"Please, Adumb…" Sauli said, looking up at me with hurt eyes. "You can tell me through Cookie and Milk…" he reached over to the bedside table and grabbed the two rubber ducks, handing them to me. I looked at them, sighing. He didn't get how serious I was…

"Okay…" I said, holding the ducks out in plain sight. "Well, to start, Cookie really likes Milk, but he knows that Milk doesn't like him as more than a friend. He also knows that kissing means nothing to Milk… But Cookie doesn't want it to mean nothing to Milk… In fact, Cookie wants a… Um… Real relationship…" I put the ducks down on the table again, sitting back down on the bed. I wasn't escaping this now.

Sauli stared at me, smiling a little. "Kissing does mean something to Milk… Milk loves Cookie's freckled lips!" Then Sauli smiled, leaning in from another kiss. I pulled back, not letting him kiss me. He sat back down and frowned.

"When will you get it?" I asked him, getting a little angrier. I've told him this before, and he just denied it. "I don't want you to kiss me because you like my lips; I want you to kiss me because you like the person I am! Or because you like me as more than a friend!" I said, placing my face in my hands for a second and then looking back up at him.

Sauli's frown slowly faded into a smile. "As… more than a friend? Well… I'm happier when I'm around you… And my heart sure feels happy around you," he said. I looked into his eyes and noticed them sparkle. He was so gorgeous…

"That's a start," I mumbled, turning my head to the side for a second, looking out the window. The sun outside was shining, but the one inside me was being hidden with dark clouds. "But… What I want to say is… that… I want to be your… boyfriend…"

Sauli's eyes widened and he stared at me. "B-Boyfriend?" He said. "But… I… What would we do?" He looked anxious, or maybe nervous. He definitely wasn't as nervous as I was though. I was the one putting myself out there, not him.

"Well…" I said, swallowing and looking him straight in the eye. "We would… hold hands…" I grabbed his hand, lacing our fingers together. "And go out on dates… And make up cute nicknames for each other… And we wouldn't be boyfriends with anyone else, because we would be committed to each other…"

Sauli smiled again, leaning up so he was close to my face. "Could we still kiss?" He brushed his lips against mine lightly. When he pulled back, I felt a smile tugging at my own lips.

"We could do so much more then kissing…" I whispered in his ear, leaning down and nipping at his neck. He moaned, letting out a soft whimper. I pushed him onto his back, straddling his waist and leaning back down to kiss him hard.

"I want to be your boyfriend…" he said when I pulled away, and I smiled, leaning back down and licking at his lips again, pressing mine to his forcefully. "Masterrrr…" He moaned into my lips. It was such a turn on when he said that. Something that I also found to be a COMPLETE turn on was our age difference… I was so much older than Sauli, and I thought it was so damn hot.

I felt Sauli's hand slither down to my crotch where he unzipped my pants. I gasped, sitting up and smirking. He smirked back at me. "May I touch?" He asked. I didn't answer; I just grabbed his hand and shoved it into my pants. He grabbed onto my dick, pulling it out and stroking it lightly. I moaned as he got faster, giving me one of the best hand jobs I had ever received.

"Ugh, fuck…" I said, grabbing onto Sauli's hair. He kept stroking my hard cock, and I felt myself getting closer. "Oh, fuck Sauli! I'm gonna come!" I yelled, pulling hard on his hair. He smirked going faster, which I didn't think was possible.

"Come on, Master... Come for me…" He said. I moaned at his kinkiness, feeling myself release. A white substance covered Sauli's shirt. I picked some up with my finger and shoved it in Sauli's mouth. He moaned and sucked hard on my finger. I pulled my finger out quickly, leaning down and kissing him hard on the lips. I licked the inside of his mouth and pulled away again, looking him in the eyes.

"I'm glad you're my boyfriend…"

 


	9. First Time Happiness

Sauli:

"Let's go out on a date," Adam said suddenly, looking up at me with a smile. I was currently wrapped in his arms and night had fallen. There still was some light out, but I was assuming no one was out and about at this hour…I liked Adam a lot…but I didn't want to risk anyone seeing us because we might get in trouble. Besides, he randomly asked to go out on a date, which I had never done before. He was so strange about the entire "boyfriends" thing and I was not sure what to think about it. I was skeptical and didn't want to risk anything…

"Um…Adam, we better not…I don't want anyone to see us," I whispered, frowning and playing with the hem of his shirt nervously. I heard him sigh, I glanced up at him, and he smiled lightly at me. I was scared about the entire situation. What if his parents found out? What if Adam ended up hating me and selling me to some other master? I am not sure I would be able to handle that because I adapted so well here. I could never trust anyone again…He has changed everything for me and I don't think I would ever change again.

"Baby, you're my boyfriend now. We go out and do stuff together. So we're going," he said, sitting up and grabbing my hand. I sat up with him and he leaned over, kissing my cheek. It's not as if I could deny him his wishes. As much as he hated it, he was still my master… "We're gonna go on a date and it'll be fun, alright?" he said, standing up and walking towards the door. "Throw on a jacket or something, it might be chilly," and with that he walked out of his bedroom door and sauntered to the kitchen. I gazed all about the room, biting my bottom lip, but I grabbed my jacket (that Adam bought for me) anyway and threw it on, running my hand through my hair. I was nervous, yes, but I would be able to make it work. Just go with the flow…or something…

I walked out the door and saw Adam carrying a small basket and he grabbed my hand, walking out the front door. It was cold and empty when we stepped out…good. No one to witness us. "Are you excited baby?" he asked and I blushed, shrugging, and staring at the ground as he led the way down this weird trail I didn't even know existed.

"Hey, we are in this together! Screw everyone else. If anyone tells you otherwise, tell them fuck you!" he said and I looked up and smiled lightly at Adam. He was so confident and I really liked that about him. He did not seem to care about anyone else's opinion but his own. I respected that so much about him… I wrapped my arms around his arm and nuzzled into his neck. He giggled, leaning his head onto mine. I do not think Adam would ever be mean to me or act like a typical master. He is too kind and I honestly like him a lot.

"I…I don't care what people think. Because we are in this together…" I whispered and I felt his lips press against my hair. Soothing…

"Forever and ever…" he mumbled and I squeezed him tighter, sighing a little. I really hoped that was true.

As we made our way down the trail in a respectable silence, something triggered in my mind and I wanted to ask him something. "Adam…Um…" I said and he hummed lightly in response. "Are we…going to um…give each other nicknames? Like you said?" Then when I heard how ridiculous it sounded, I shook my head, "Oh, that was stupid…I'm sorry…" I felt like such an idiot!

"No, babe! You're right! I did say that…Hmm…Let me think…" he pondered and I blushed, smiling up at him. I had had a nickname in mind ever since he mentioned it, but I did not want to tell him the meaning because he might get mad, but I liked it and I hoped he would allow it…

"You could be...Mestari…it's Finnish for something, but I won't tell you…" I said, poking his nose and he laughed, winking at me.

"I love it…And you'll be Sunshine. Because you make my day brighter every time I see you," he said and I blushed, looking at him and immediately looking down at my feet. He laughed, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me close. "I'm a romantic. Get used to it," he said and then I glanced up and saw a separation of bushes. As we passed through them, the crashing of water startled me and I scooted in closer to Adam.

"I've never been to the beach before," I mumbled, looking down at the golden and crisp sand. It looked so smooth…I wanted to touch it…I wondered if I could…

Adam let go of me and set the basket down on a deserted area. I glanced around and didn't see anyone in the looming darkness still penetrated by the moonlight. I looked back at Adam. "So you've never been in the ocean before?" he asked and I shook my head, watching the waves crash. It was so tantalizingly hypnotizing. I wasn't sure if I would be able to break away from such a trance.

"No…the closest I've been is probably your pool…" I told him, smiling a little. He walked up to me and grabbed my hand, tugging me closer to the water. He brought me to the edge of the water and I gripped onto him. "A-Adam…isn't there…sharks in there? I don't want us to get eaten…" I murmured and he laughed, hugging me with a smile. He was so warm compared to the bitter breeze passing through.

"I'll protect you from the sharks, Sunshine…," he said and I nodded, about to walk into the water when Adam grabbed my shirt, pulling me back, I gasped and looked up (I was hoping he didn't see any sharks). He had a kind of seductive twinkle in his eye. "Wait…let's get more comfortable…" he whispered, tugging on the bottom of my shirt. I bit my bottom lip, lifting my arms and letting him take it off. I quickly took off his shirt and with a couple more gestures, we were in nothing but our underwear. I gazed all up and down his body and I felt naughty. Though, I won't admit I didn't like it…

"Are we…?" I asked, tugging on his briefs and he shrugged, saying it was up to me. I smirked lightly, grabbing his hand. "In the water…" I said. He laughed, grabbing onto my waist and jumping into the water. I squealed, giggling a little and kissing Adam as he pulled me up from under the water. I wrapped my legs around his waist, moaning lightly and tugging on his hair. I grabbed onto his face and I felt his fingers curl into my boxers. I let go of him and took in a deep breath, dipping under the water and swiftly taking off both our underwear. I went back up and smirked, kissing him hard and tossing our forgotten attire to the side. I pressed my hands to his chest and kissed him neck, glancing at all his previously hidden freckles. "You have so many _pisamias_ ….freckles," I whispered. He chuckled, licking my cheek.

"Would you like to see some hidden ones?" he asked, a seductive gleam twinkling in his eye. I nodded, licking my lips. He let go of my waist and slowly rose from the water. I blushed, immediately covering my eyes and shaking my head. I didn't know he meant it like that! Naughty Adam! He was so naughty!

"N-Not like that Adam!" I said, my eyes still covered and my face feeling like a heater. I had never felt so squeamish in my life!

"Oh, come on! You know you like it! Don't be shy, love," he claimed, grabbing my wrists and trying to tug them away from my eyes. I wouldn't let him and I shook my head, feeling embarrassed. How could he be so confident? I didn't get it!

"B-But…Um…I-I…" I stuttered and he laughed, dipping back into the water and holding me again. I uncovered my eyes, feeling hotter than before and pressing into him. He was so cute…

"No worries," he inquired, kissing me hard on the lips. His tongue forced its way into my mouth and I fought back, loving the feeling. I felt one of his hand trail down my side and get dangerously close to… _that area._ I gasped, pulling back and shaking my head. He raised a thick eyebrow, looking at me. "What's wrong?" he asked, and I shook my head, shrugging. It was just scary, I guess. I knew I shouldn't be such a baby about it, so I just let it go…

"Nothing, I'm sorry!" I said, going to kiss him again, but he stopped me, staring at me intently.

"It's okay if you're not ready, Sunshine, I understand. No rush for anything!" he chimed and I shook my head, feeling really bad for being such a baby about all this.

"N-No, I am, ready! I promise—" I started to say, but Adam rolled his eyes, pursing his lips at me.

"No you're not! We're gonna wait, alright?" he said and I sighed, looking down at the water and making small circles on his freckly chest.

"I'm sorry…I just want to make you happy…Please, Mestari…" I said, glancing up at him with a slight frown. He smiled, holding my face. He was so gentle. I feel like some schoolgirl or something like that…

"Baby, if you want to make me happy, and then let's just wait until you're ready! Alright?" he said and I sighed, shrugging and still feeling bad about the whole situation. He must have noticed because he grabbed my hand and started tugging me towards the shore. I quickly followed and once we exited the water, he threw me a towel and he dried off himself. Once we were both dry and back in our clothes (without underwear—I did not thoroughly think that one out) Adam turned around and smirked at me. "I have a surprise for you!" he exclaimed and I gasped, my eyes widening and a small smile curling on my lips.

"A surprise? I've never had a surprise before!" I said and he laughed, sitting down next to me. I was so excited, it was insane!

"Cover your eyes!" he said and I nodded, doing as he said. All I could see was darkness, but I heard some rummaging, clacking, and clicking. My heart was racing from the anticipation because I was so excited! I had never had a surprise before, but by now, I knew I loved them! "Okay, open them!" he said. I uncovered my eyes and looked around. There was a red blanket place neatly in the sand with a single candle lit in the middle. The basket Adam had brought was open and I saw some chocolate and strawberries inside. I glanced to the side and saw Adam grinning wide. My heart was beating so fast, I thought it might hop out of my chest…Before I knew it, my face was wet and I was crying! I didn't know why, but I was just so overwhelmed. I heard Adam gasp and he held my face, wiping my eyes. "Oh my god, baby! What's wrong? Are you okay?" he asked and I sniffled.

"I-I'm sorry…It's just…this is all so different! When I was first brought to you I hated you because I thought you would be mean like all my other masters, but you're so nice…and I like you so much and now you're my boyfriend…Olet parasta mitä ikinä ..." I mumbled, looking up at Adam and he smiled, leaning in and kissing my lips softly.

"Aw, baby. I'm so glad I managed to make you so happy!" he said and I nodded, kissing his cheek.

"I like you so much! Thank you for everything…" I murmured and he blushed a little, pulling me into his lap.

"No, thank YOU. Now I am not lonely anymore! I have my own little Finn," he mused, reaching into the basket and pulling out a delectable red fruit. He then pulled out a small bowl filled to the brim with liquid chocolate. He placed the strawberry in the chocolate, with a smirk, he traced it along my lips, and I opened my mouth, eating it. It was so good…

I giggled, leaning over and kissing him. He licked my lips, making them clean from the sweet. I reached over grabbing another strawberry and winking at Adam. His eyes widened as I sucked on the berry, allowing the juices to drip down my chin. "Mmm…It's almost as delicious as you…" I whispered to him and he moaned.

"Sauli, don't tempt me," he growled, tugging on my hair. I laughed, kissing him again. He moaned, rolling over and straddling my waist and sitting on my stomach. "You're so cute…," he said and I laughed a little tugging in his shirt and smiling up at him.

"Upea."

 


	10. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos!

Adam:

"Wanna go shopping, baby?" I asked, walking out of the bathroom. I had just finished changing and putting on my makeup. I was in the mood to go out, to be productive. Shopping seemed like a good idea, but if Sauli didn't want to go, we wouldn't, and that was okay with me. But Sauli would agree with me no matter what, anyways. He still sees me as his master. It was annoying, but I was hoping he would get over it one day.

"Sure!" He replied, popping up from where he was on the floor. In his hands were the two rubber ducks, Cookie and Milk. He liked to play with them every once in a while. Honestly, I found it adorable. And sometimes he would ask me to hum him to sleep. Therefore, I would hold him close and just hum random melodies in his ear. I could not be more grateful that he came into my life.

I grabbed his hand, pulling him out of my bedroom door. As we exited, I glanced quickly to the side, watching for my mom or dad. Especially my dad though. I had a feeling that if my mom knew about Sauli and I, she wouldn't care as much as my dad would. She always seemed to be the one that understood me better.

Seeing no one, I stepped out of the room, pulling Sauli behind me. We made our way out to the car, and he hopped in the passenger seat while I climbed in the driver's seat. I grabbed Sauli's hand after we were both settled into our seats, and I started the car, driving away.

I pulled my free hand out of Sauli's, and for a second he frowned at me. Then I turned on the radio and smiled at him, placing my hand back in his. "One day, you'll be singing on here," Sauli said, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek.

I smiled at him bigger and replied with, "Hopefully…"

When we finally got to the mall, I realized it was not that crowded. I parked up front, knowing that Sauli and I would end up with a lot of bags, and we wouldn't want to walk far with them when we were done shopping.

Sauli and I got out of the car and started walking in. I grabbed his hand, holding it in mine. I felt him try to tug his hand away lightly, and I glanced down at him. "It's okay. We'll be okay…" I said, holding his hand tight in mine. He nodded, smiling up at me and leaning his head on my shoulder. I was glad he was getting to be more comfortable with being out in public with me.

When we got inside, I pulled Sauli in all different directions, showing him the best places to shop. I showed him all the places that I, personally, enjoyed to shop in. Hot Topic was my favorite though, so I had no hesitation when we came across it. I pulled Sauli into the store quickly, looking all around. As soon as I stepped inside, something caught my eye. I could see it from the entrance of the store, and I immediately wanted it. Not for me, but for Sauli. I just needed to get it.

"Why don't you look around, baby?" I said, kissing Sauli on the cheek quickly and releasing his hand. He blushed, scampering away and looking at some t-shirts. This was the perfect time to grab it. I walked over to the jewelry stands, picking up the last one.

I gazed at the sterling silver necklace. It had a silver chain, not too long so it would hang on his chest, but the normal length. At the bottom of the chain was a small sun, silver and covered in some kind of engraved design that was enchanting. The sun reminded me of Sauli's nickname, Sunshine, so it would be perfect. I carried it over to the cash register, glancing at Sauli who was now looking at sunglasses. I handed the woman at the front desk my credit card, noticing her bright pink hair. That is what I loved about this store. Everyone here expressed themselves.

The woman handed me back my credit card and I smiled at her, saying a quick 'thank you', and walking over to Sauli. I put the bag in my pocket, keeping it out of Sauli's sight. When I got over to him, he had just been trying on a pair of Lady Gaga cigarette glasses. I laughed and he giggled, wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me. It was unexpected, but I didn't mind. I hugged him back, soon letting go so he could take off the glasses and put them back.

Our next stop was a store I normally didn't visit, but Sauli was excited when he saw the store, so he grabbed my hand and pulled me inside quickly. Looking around, there were all types of animals. They ranged from dogs, to cats, to monkeys. As I glanced around, I felt Sauli's hand slip out of mine. I looked back at where he was standing, and he was gone. I looked to the left and saw him kneeling near a cage. He opened it up slowly, and a bunny hopped out. I flinched at the quickness of the bunny, but soon smiled when I saw the happiness on Sauli's face. He had a wide grin spreading across his face, and he giggled, picking the bunny up and holding it in his arms. He gently kissed it on the nose and cuddled it. My heart began to swell and I couldn't take his cuteness. Maybe I should just buy him the bunny so I can see him be this cute all the time. I had never seen him this open, and I loved it.

I walked over to Sauli, squatting down next to him and reaching my hand out, petting the bunny. Sauli giggled and leaned on me. I smiled and kissed his temple, watching his hands roam the animal's soft fur. "His name is Rakastan," Sauli said. I looked at him skeptically. "It means… I love, in Finnish…" He said, avoiding eye contact. I smiled, feeling my heart swell even more. It felt like it was about to explode.

"That's perfect," I said. Sauli let the bunny go, and it hopped back into its crate. I closed the little door, locking it, and stood up. Sauli frowned and looked back at the bunny, obviously not wanting to leave it. "We'll come back and visit him, I promise," I said, kissing Sauli's nose, just like he had done to the bunny. He giggled, grabbing my hand and walking out of the store.

We walked through the mall, carrying our bags and leaning on each other. We didn't really have anywhere else to go, so I decided we should leave. "Are you ready to go home, Sunshine?" I said, looking at Sauli as we walked.

"Sure," He said. "But first, may I use the bathroom?" He asked me and I laughed. He was too adorable. I nodded, watching him step to the side and into the men's bathroom. I decided to wait outside, because he didn't really need me in there.

After about five minutes, I wondered what was taking so long. I would understand why five minutes would be average for a girl, but for most guys, it only takes about two minutes. I stood up from the bench I was sitting on and walked over to the bathroom, stepping inside. When I walked in, I saw two figures standing there, facing each other. Sauli turned around and looked at me with tear-filled eyes, while the man in front of Sauli smirked at me. I ran over to my baby, holding onto him. I wiped his tears with my thumb.

"What's wrong baby? Who is this?" I asked him, not knowing what was going on. I was concerned for my baby and I wanted him to stop crying. What could have possibly made him so upset? I glanced up at the man, not recognizing him a bit.

"I-It's-" Sauli started to say, but suddenly was interrupted by a voice that sounded threatening in my ears. Maybe that was only because he was the source of my baby's tears, or maybe he actually WAS a mean person. I didn't know, but I didn't care right now.

"I'm Niko." He said.

The name sent a ringing in my ears and I shivered, holding Sauli closer. So THIS was the man that broke Sauli's heart. Sauli started to cry harder into my shirt. Niko laughed and put his hands on his hips. "Why are YOU here?" I asked, scowling at him.

"Oh," he said, smiling lightly at me. "I didn't realize you OWNED the damn place. Free country." I gave him a death glare, switching me and Sauli around so Sauli was behind me, unable to be hurt.

"You hurt this poor man so badly. I don't ever want you going near him AGAIN. Now just leave, before this gets ugly," I said. Sauli pulled on my shirt and I looked down at him. He gave my pleading eyes, wanting me to just stop. But there was no way I was letting this go. Sorry, baby.

Niko chuckled. "Hurt him? I gave him the best time of his life. He LOVED me. And he probably still does," He said. I heard Sauli whimper behind me and get a better grip on my shirt.

"No he doesn't. If he did, he wouldn't have gotten into a relationship with me. And how could someone ever love someone like you? You'll be alone forever. You're cold hearted and selfish," I replied back, wanting nothing more than to just punch him in the face. But I was not one for violence, and that would just cause more drama.

"Oh, really?" He asked, taking a step closer to me. "If Sauli didn't love me anymore, would he let me do this?" He asked, pulling Sauli from behind me. Before I could grab Sauli back, Niko's lips smashed on Sauli's. Sauli whimpered, but didn't pull away. My heart started to beat fast when I saw tongue being exchanged between their mouths. I could feel water pushing at the back of my eyes, but I wouldn't let a single tear fall. When Niko finally pulled away, he smirked at me. "Oops, I think I just ruined this relationship," he said, faking gasp and covering his mouth as if he actually cared.

I glanced at Sauli. He had tears spilling from his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He started to cry harder. I didn't know what to do. But I knew I could not stay here. I took a deep breath, turning around and walking out of the bathroom. I heard Sauli call my name behind me, but I didn't listen. Then I heard his calling get louder, and I could tell Sauli was out of the bathroom and calling for me now. I kept walking, ignoring him.

Soon, I couldn't take it. I stopped, turned around, and watched Sauli walk up to me. "What do you want?" I asked. "Permission to go live with your true love? Well go if you want! You seem much happier with him than with me!" I yelled. Sauli flinched, and I saw another drop of water fall from his eye.

"N-no, I…." words wouldn't come out of his mouth. "I don't love him, I p-promise…" Sauli frowned at me, and then looked down.

"You're lying. If you didn't love him, you wouldn't have kissed him back, God dammit!" I was starting to get louder, and attention was being drawn to us, but I didn't care. I had a reason to be angry.

"I-I'm sorry, m-master… I d-didn't mean to a-anger you…" He said. I frowned, looking into his eyes. I could see the pain in them, and I just couldn't do it.

"No, please don't Sauli… I'm not your master…" I said, walking over to him, cupping his cheeks in my hands. He looked up into my eyes and my heart almost melted. His eyes were so damn captivating.

"I-I'm worthless, I k-know… I'm sorry for not being i-important," he said. I frowned again, leaning down and placing my lips on his, kissing him sweetly. I pulled away after a second, looking deep into his eyes.

"You are not worthless. You are so important, you have no idea. You changed my life with just one smile. I couldn't be happier to have you in my life," I said. Sauli smiled lightly. He nodded, kissing my lips lightly again. When he pulled away, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to a janitor's closet. He opened the door and dragged me inside quickly. When he closed the door, he pushed me up against it and kissed me hard. I moaned, picking up his legs and wrapping them around my waist. He wrapped his arms around my neck and let his tongue fall from his mouth, licking at my bottom lip. I opened my mouth, taking his tongue in between my teeth and biting down lightly. He moaned, pulling away and licking at my neck. That's when I realized I couldn't do this.

"S-Sauli… We have to stop…" I said. He looked up at me and frowned. He leaned up and kissed me hard again, but I pulled away before I could get addicted to his lips again. "W-We have to get home… We can continue then…" I said, winking at him and placing him down. I could feel the hardness in my pants and I hoped it would go down quickly. I wanted sex too much to foreplay all the time. I wouldn't be able to resist.

"Okay…" Sauli said, frowning a little.

"Don't frown…" I said, reaching into my pocket and grabbing the bag from Hot Topic. "I got you a present…" I said, reaching into the bag and pulling out the necklace. When Sauli saw it, his eyes widened. I handed it to him. "It's a sun. Because you brighten my day," I said, smiling at him.

"Thank you, Mestari!" He said, jumping up and kissing me quickly. "I love it!" He handed it to me to put on him, so I clasped it around his neck and turned Sauli around quickly.

"Let's get going," I said, grabbing his hand.

I was in love with Sauli.


	11. Finally Here

Sauli:

I have to admit running into Niko was the last thing I expected while we were out having a good time. I was having so much fun with Adam because he made my heart so happy all the time. In addition, I hated to accept the fact that I still harbored some kind of feelings for Niko even though he turned against me. In the most brutal and cruel way possible. Perhaps it was because he was the first true…I guess love. I was hoping Adam would be the second. I felt deeply for him and I knew it would go somewhere…I just need to strike at the right time. He already doubted me in the mall today, we had a big fight, and he yelled at me. I was scared, but I knew it was my fault. I just need to prove that I am over Niko (which for the most part I am) and very devoted to Adam. I may even love him because I knew it was something so much more than what we made of it…

I bit my bottom lip, glancing out the window of Adam's car. Other cars zoomed by, but as we continued, the cars seemed to lessen and we arrived at a somewhat deserted road. Trees surrounded it and we only occupied the road… "Adam…" I said softly, fiddling with my fingers as I looked over at him. He smiled, nodding at me. His black hair was scooped up in an elegant flame and I needed it between my fingers.

"Yea, babe?" he said reclining in his seat and loosely holding onto the steering wheel. He looked utterly irresistible. Those eyes, those…that…his everything compelled me to go closer and touch him all. I wanted to eat him…

"Can you…pull over for a minute?" I asked. "Like, right now," I said again. I felt the car slow down, and he looked confused. The car jerked to the right and it slowed to a stop on the far side of the road. He cut the engine and gazed at me. His eyes read total confusion and concern.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked, worry coating his voice and I laughed lightly, shrugging. I leaned over, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him close enough so our lips were just inches apart. I felt his hot breath against my skin and I inhaled lightly, mint running through my senses.

"I want you right now. Right here…" I whispered, pushing him against the window and crawling on top of him. All I could feel was the lust coiling up inside me and I needed this right now. His eyes widened and his eyebrows rose. He propped himself up with his palms, lifting himself up so he was sitting up right. I was sitting right on his zipper, both my legs on either side of his hips.

"What? What are you doing, Sauli?" he asked, looking like I was insane. I smiled even wider, trailing my fingers up to his tantalizing lips. They were soft…tangible…freckly…

"I want ALL of you right now…" I spoke and I saw him gulp. It was true and I could not deny it any longer. I may have been trying to tell myself I was scared…that he was just another Niko and would soon betray me, but I was wrong. He was mine and I wanted him to make me his. It was all going to happen right now, and I wanted him to know I wanted him. It was going to happen and it was going to happen right now.

"You…Are you sure? I mean it's all sudden and—" he wanted to talk and try to get out of this, but I wouldn't let him.

I interrupted him with my lips and rolled our hips together and he moaned. I pulled his hair and he growled under his breath. "Are you?" I asked, smirking and he sat up, grabbing my face and attacking my lips. There were slight pops and clicks of as our lips made contact, and a slight slurp of the tongue, but the sounds just enticed my growing hunger.

"I've been ready since I fucking met you…," he mumbled and I moaned, ripping open his shirt (it was a button up). He let go of my face so he could completely take it off and I kept kissing his face. He tugged on the hem of my shirt and I lifted my arms so he could pull it off. When our lips parted, I panted looking at him. His entire torso was littered in the little dots I so craved for. His freckles were just one of many things I adored about this man…

"Mm…Master…" I muttered and he leaned me into the steering wheel and a loud BEEP startled me, causing me to jump and cling onto Adam. He laughed, petting my head. Great way to ruin a moment…

"Sorry, baby. It was the horn, it's okay…," he mumbled and I sighed in relief, looking up at him with a smile. He smirked back, kissing my temple and unzipping my pants. I helped him by undoing my belt and wiggling out of my attire. It was rather difficult because we were both crammed into the front seat, but Adam didn't seem to want to leave, so I did not complain. In fact, it all seemed rather rushed, but I just wanted to get started. Patience was not a virtue at this point.

Eventually when we got the pants off, I tossed them in the back seat and unzipped his pants. He grabbed my wrists and held them above my head. I glanced up at him, he shook his head, shoving his hand into my underwear, and my eyes widened. It was so sudden, but warmly welcomed. He fingers grazed again my aching dick and I shuddered, shaking my head. His hand wrapped around it and he started pumping. I squeaked, panting and bouncing up and down. He laughed, taking his hand out and spreading my legs down so they were on either side of his hips. He reached down to the glove compartment and opened it. Inside, he grabbed a tube and a wrapper. I watched and blushed. He fumbled with his belt and I helped, unhooking it and pulling his pants down just enough to expose his rather commando attire. My face grew red and my eyes immediately flew to the ceiling of the car.

I mean, I know I have seen it before at times and I have even touched his special place…but I just never saw it in this context and that scared me a little. I didn't want to be a wimp about any of this, but I just don't know if I can go through with this now. I just need to suck it up and take it all in (no pun intended).

He laughed, petting my cheek. "Baby, it's okay. Don't be so shy," he said, ripping open the condom with his teeth. I grabbed it from his hand and took it out, glancing back down at his package. It too had…a lot of damn freckles. I smiled, gently sliding on the condom and he moaned bucking into me with his eyes closed. He panted, opening them back up and grabbing the tube. I too, snatched that away from him and squeezed some of it on my hand. I wrapped my hand around him and he moaned. I went up and down smoothly until he was ready, I assumed.

His bright blue eyes opened again and looked at me. "We don't have to, you know…I know how nervous you were before…," he mumbled, but I knew he would not be able to resist anymore. I grinned, maneuvering myself so I could miraculously take off my underwear. I blushed and leaned down kissing him hard. His tongue escaped and took residence in my mouth. I licked his mouth and pulled back.

"I am, I promise," I said, leaning my forehead against his, "you'll be gentle…" I mumbled and he nodded, grabbing my hips and lifting me up.

"Ready?" he asked and I nodded. He sighed a little bringing me down on him and pushed me down. I gasped at the sudden touch and shut my eyes, groaning. There was a fucking immense pain, but an odd pleasure with it. I was by no means a virgin, but it still always stung a little. "Are you okay?" he asked, worried. I moaned, pushing myself further into him and gasping. "Ahh…Sauli…' he moaned and I felt him go completely in and inhaled softly, opening my eyes and looking at him. "Whoa…" he said. I smiled, leaning into his neck.

"You feel so good…" I groaned, pushing myself up then down onto him, moaning. He grunted, gripping onto my hips tighter. I bounced up then down onto him and gasped. "Fuck, Master…" I purred and he laughed, pushing his hips into me and I felt his hand grip onto my own small problem that I didn't even notice until he started pumping. I felt my face heat up super bad and he chuckled. This was so weird, yet I loved it. I felt more pleasure then pain right now. It was something I had never felt before.

"Don't be so shy…," he murmured, pushing himself back up into me and I moaned, leaning down and kissing him hard on the lips. My hands trailed, up, tugging on his hair and his tongue made its way into my mouth, exploring every inch. I bit his bottom lip, my breath hitching as I felt myself starting to reach that one point. I groaned, gripping onto his face. He moaned my name and I squeaked a little, feeling myself release and blushing like a bitch. He bit hard onto my bottom lip and shuddered, groaning. "Fuuuccckk, Sauli…" he said, opening his eyes again. I glanced up at him, feeling my face become hotter and he laughed, kissing me lightly. "That was wonderful. You're so amazing," he said, reaching his arms around and hugging me. I laughed, hugging him back and groaning a bit when I felt him pull out. He whispered sorry and took the condom off, tying it off and shoving it into a napkin. He then grabbed some baby wipes from the back seat and wiped off our stomachs. He threw that with the napkin and grinned at me. "Fucking awesome," he said and I giggled a little, poking his chest.

"Freckles…" I said. He laughed, leaning up and kissing me again. I leaned back and the car honked again. I gasped, clinging to him.

"Aw, baby. Don't be frightened, I'll protect you against everything…" he said. I smiled, shutting my eyes and feeling his heartbeat against my ear. I felt my own heart beat fast and I felt something I had never felt so strongly before…

Love.

I sighed a little under my breath and gently whispered the phrase, "I love you…" they were almost inaudible, but I guess Adam has some supersonic hearing.

He said, "What, baby?" and I blushed, looking up at him then quickly glancing back down.

"Nothing…" I replied, sitting up and kissing him hard again. He laughed, leaning back and grabbing my pants from the back seat. We both swiftly got our attire back on and I sat on his lap, smiling at him. I was so satisfied with everything! It was such a success and I hope Adam felt the same way about the situation. Judging by his happy demeanor, I think I can take that as a yes! I looked up at him and Adam stared at me and smiled widely.

"I love you a lot you know. I'm in love with you," he spoke, not once wavering his eyes from mine. I gasped, feeling the heat rise to my face. He chuckled, running his fingers through my hair. "Well, it can't come that much of a surprise can it? I love you so much. You're the only thing in this world I would die without…" His finger trailed down my temple and his hand cupped my cheek. He closed the gap and kissed me softly, purring. I was in too much shock to kiss back and he pulled away, leaning his forehead against mine.

"A-Adam…I don't know…I mean…I love you too…" I finally said, feeling like an idiot. "I mean I…it's hard to explain, but I don't ever want to leave you and I want to be with you forever…" I exclaimed, smiling. He grinned, wrapping his arms around me in a hug and I sighed happily, hugging him back.

"I'm so happy you came into my life, Sauli…"

"I am too, Adam."


	12. Bound In Chains

Adam:

 I quietly walked out of my room, entering the kitchen and seeing Sauli, as cute as ever, facing the stove and cooking something in a pan. I tip toed over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist from the back. He jumped, turning his head to the side as I leaned down and kissed at his neck. Giggling, he turned around in my arms and placed his hands on my chest, playing with my shirt a little. “I’m making your favorite,” he said, leaning up and kissing me lightly. I chuckled, pulling back a little.

“How can you make yourself?” I said, winking at him. I admit, it was corny, but I loved cheesy romantic stuff. I was totally a hopeless romantic and I liked passionate things. “I-" I was about to whisper something into Sauli’s ear when I heard the door open. I gasped, pulling away from Sauli and standing to the side. I saw my dad enter the kitchen, my mom following behind. This really wasn’t the event I was hoping for.

“Adam,” my dad said, looking from me, to Sauli, who was now standing up straight, nerves running through his body. “It’s been a while since we have talked,” He said. I nodded. Of course, it has been a while. You hate me, Dad, why would you WANT to talk to me?

“Uh, yea…,” I said, reaching up and rubbing the back of my neck. I ran my fingers through my hair and licked my lips. I was just hoping for him to leave so I could get back to Sauli. He was making me his famous Finnish meatballs. They were DELICIOUS.

My dad took his jacket off, placing it on the marble counters. “How is the Finn? Is he working out for you?” I gulped, looking at Sauli. His head was down and his fingers were fumbling over each other.

“Um, yes… Very well,” I said. I knew my dad wasn’t going to leave until he inspected the situation. I knew my dad too well. And my dad knew me. This wasn’t so great for me. He could read me like a book and he would probably be able to tell that something was going on with Sauli and me. I just prayed that he wouldn’t hurt Sauli or anything.

“Are you sure, Adam? He doesn’t look like he is being disciplined…” My dad said, stepping closer. I moved swiftly in front of Sauli in a defensive way. I wouldn’t let him hurt my baby.

“I… He doesn’t give me a reason to hurt him. And he doesn’t deserve it… He’s a really good slave, Dad…” I said, looking up at his face. His eyes were fixated on Sauli. He was looking him up and down.

“Move out of the way so I can get a better look, Adam,” he said, walking closer to us. I froze, not moving. I wouldn’t let him near my baby… I wouldn’t let him hurt Sauli. “Adam, I said move,” he said again, giving me a glare. I wouldn’t budge. “MOVE, Adam!” He yelled, shoving me to the side. Not so hard that I would fall, but hard enough to leave a bruise. I whimpered, looking at Sauli. He glanced at me quickly then looked away. From that one quick glance, I could catch all the fear in his eyes.

My dad grabbed Sauli’s face, turning it side to side harshly. He growled a little under his breath, dropping his hand from Sauli’s face and looking at me. “You have to discipline him, Adam! He will keep doing mediocre work if you don’t!” He took a step towards me, shoving me into Sauli. “DISCIPLINE HIM!”

“I-I…” I started to say, but I didn’t know what to muster up. “I don’t like v-violence and he d-doesn’t deserve i-it…” I said, looking Sauli in the eyes before quickly looking back at my dad’s angry face.

“It’s either discipline him, or I sell him to someone who WILL,” my dad said. I could see his eyes turning red in my head, and my head starting spinning. There was no was in hell that I was going to hurt Sauli. But I can’t let my dad sell him… I didn’t know what to do.

“B-But…” I said before sighing and turning back to Sauli. The back of my head was facing my dad, so I gave Sauli sorry eyes before slowly raising my hand. He flinched a little, and I could feel my heart breaking. But I had no other choice. I had to do this. I let my hand whip through the air until it made contact with skin. I heard a loud smack echo through the room and I felt my eyes fill with tears. Sauli’s head was turned to the side and a red mark was spreading across his cheek.

“See? That wasn’t so hard. My work is done here. Go to Adam’s room and clean it up, Finn,” my dad said. Sauli looked straight ahead and I could see tears flowing from his eyes. He walked to my room and I watched as my dad grabbed his coat and left with my mom. As soon as they were out the door, I ran to my room.

“Sauli,” I said, seeing him standing, staring straight at the wall. He was probably in so much shock… “I’m so sorry… “

“N-No, it’s okay, I understand, Master…,” he said. I frowned, turning Sauli’s face and staring into his tear filled eyes.

“Please, baby… It was only because I didn’t want my dad to sell you… I’m sorry…” I said, seeing Sauli flinch as I stroked his cheek, wiping away some of the tears. He was in so much pain, all because I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to my dad. “I love you, and that won’t happen again…”

“P-Please… don’t say… you love me…” He said. I was confused. Why shouldn’t I say that?

I cupped Sauli’s face in my hands, looking him straight in the eye. “But I do love you… More than anything in the entire world. I will never love anyone else as much as I love you…” I said, leaning down slowly. But Sauli leaned out of my reach and stepped back. I dropped my hands from his face.

“This… was a m-mistake... I’m s-sorry…,” he said. I could feel tears welling in my eyes again. A… mistake? Was he saying our whole relationship was a mistake? That it wasn’t meant to be? Was he… breaking up with me?

“A… A mistake? N-no, I l-love you and y-you love m-me… “I said, tears spilling out of my eyes. Sauli couldn’t do this to me… I loved him too much…

“Don’t c-cry… I’m n-not w-worth it… I p-promise you’ll find someone b-better than me… Y-You’ll find the l-love of your life…” He said, looking down. I could tell he didn’t want to have to do this.

I turned around, not wanting him to see my cry. I wiped my eyes and sniffled, holding back any other tears that were threatening to fall. After about ten seconds, I replied to him. “I already have…” I said, turning around and placing my lips on his. I kissed him hard, licking at his bottom lip. He moaned, pulling away a little bit.

“B-But, master…” he said. I put my finger over his lips, hushing him.

“I’m Adam. I’m your boyfriend. I’m not your master,” I said, kissing him again. He moaned, tugging on my shirt and licking at my lips. I opened my mouth, sucking on his tongue, moaning.

“I’m sorry… I love you so much…,” he said, tugging on my shirt and walking backwards. He lay down on the bed and I climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. I kissed him one more time before rolling over and lying next to him, pulling him close to my side.

“I love you too, baby… So much…” I said. Sauli leaned over me and kissed my lips lightly before lying back down next to me and burying his face in my neck.

“You’re my entire world.”


	13. Black In Your Heart

Sauli:

“Wake up, baby…” Someone gently pushed my shoulder and patted my head. I groaned, shaking, and burying my face further into the pillow. Not right now…no way was I going to wake up from this. I was having the nicest dream. Adam and I were eating pink cotton candy and I did not want it to end because he was kissing the sugar off my lips. I sat on his lap and started kissing his delicious freckled lips and everything was fantastic in the world…Now someone was trying to wake me up from it…

“Sunshine, wake up. Come on…” a feathery voice said again and I moaned, rolling over on my back and opening my eyes sluggishly. I blinked and adjusted to the darkness. After seeing the outline of a beautiful face, I smiled slightly, but tugged the covers further up my face. “There you go…Come on, I wanna take you somewhere. Sorry for waking you up,” he said again and I mumbled something in Finnish, sitting up and swinging my legs off the bed. I still was uncertain about what was happening, but I trusted Adam (if it even was Adam—I was so tired at this point, I didn’t know what was what).

“Okayyy, Anna minun muuttuu vaatteeni ...Err…Let me change outta my pajamas,” I murmured again, and Adam laughed at me, poking my nose. I sneezed and yawned, licking my lips. I was about to pass out again. Joy…

“It’s so sexy when you talk in Finnish…But right now…I want you to come with me. I love your footsie squirrel pajamas anyway. That’s why I bought them for you… So don’t change,” he said and I rubbed my eyes, yawning again and grabbing his hand as he led me out of the bedroom and towards the front door. I still was not sure what was happening, but I was more aware now; I wasn’t nearly as tired because the excitement was building up in my chest. I smiled lightly at Adam as we sauntered towards his car and he opened the door for me. I blushed, thanking him and strapping into the passenger’s seat while he got situated into the driver’s seat. I sat back, smiling. Even though he had slapped me no less than six hours ago, I still loved him because I know it wasn’t purposeful. At the time I was in such shock, I did not know what to think and I regretted trying to break it off. All I know is that I love Adam and a misunderstood slap is not going to stop this relationship from working…Not if I can help I anyway.

I felt the excitement build up inside me even more as we drove to the destination Adam had planned for us and I could not wait to get there! I had no clue where it was and I just wanted to see what he had thought of. I did not even realize I was bouncing in my seat until Adam’s hand grabbed mine and he laughed.

“I’m glad you’re so excited, baby. We’re almost there,” he claimed, parking the car and walking out. I hopped out the door and began running up the hill, but he gripped onto my wrist and pulled me back, covering my eyes. I gasped and he giggled, biting my earlobe softly. I inhaled his intoxicating scent softly, laughing even more and clapping. “Just wait,” he breathed lucidly into my ear as we walked and I felt the crunching beneath my feet. It felt like we were walking uphill, but I was so mixed up, I wasn’t sure what was right!  It felt like there were leaves or grass under my shoes…“Okay…open…,” he said, uncovering my eyes and I laughed, opening them and gasping at what I saw.

We were on top of a hill that was littered in an array of rainbow flowers. It surrounded us in a florescent aura. There was a single green tree in the middle of it all and if you looked up, blackness embraced the sky that was speckled in white, twinkling stars. I felt tears rise to my eyes from the beauty of it all and I was so overwhelmed! Other than Adam, it was the most compelling sight I had ever witnessed in my life… “It’s so beautiful Adam…” I said in awe. I felt his arms wrap around my lower waist and he put his chin on my shoulder and nestled into my neck.

“Not as beautiful as you…I just felt…so fucking shitty about what my dad did…No, what I did. I should have just stood up to him…I hope this helps you forgive me…” he said and I smiled, turning around in his arms and grabbing his hands, pulling him down so we both sat in the flowers. Soft pedals fluttered up into the air then slowly drifted back down to earth. One landed in Adam’s big hair and I giggled, sweeping it off him. He smiled.

“I love you,” I said and he sighed, looking at the ground sadly. I frowned, touching his face and he looked back up at me. Seeing him so sad made me feel like my world was breaking and it was one of the worst feelings in the world. I did not enjoy it one bit and I just wanted Adam to be as happy as I was.

He reached his hand up and touched my injured cheek and I winced lightly from the pain. I’m sure my cheek was bruised, but I did not want to make a big deal out of it. Forgive and forget. Besides, I had already forgiven Adam and I really wished he would just let it go because I didn’t want him to think badly of himself at all. Partly, though, I know it is my fault he feels this way. I overreacted and even wanted to break up with him. I do not regret a lot of things because I believe things just happen and you go with the flow…but I regretted that. “I’m so sorry…,” he mumbled again, gingerly rubbing my sore face. His eyes seemed so sad and it made my heart sad…

“It’s really okay, Adam…I understand…” I told him, trying to make him feel better, but his face just seemed to become even more miserable.

“No! I should have…I really should have said no to my dad…But I didn’t know what to do…he can sell you and I just can’t have that happen…” he sighed and I smiled, lacing our fingers together. He glanced shyly up at me and I just wanted to kiss away his sadness.

“Thank you for not allowing him to sell me. I would much rather be slapped then have to go live with another master…I love you and I don’t ever want to part with you,” I claimed and he leaned in, kissing me lightly. I laughed and he pulled back, glancing around. We were all alone and I didn’t think anyone would show up because it was a rather desolate area in juxtaposition to the rest of the world.

“I have one more surprise for you…And I really hope this makes it up…Close your eyes, Sunshine,” he said and I grinned, covering my eyes and I heard him get up and his footsteps get lighter. I got fidgety and bit my bottom lip with anticipation. He was so sweet and I could hardly contain my ferventness towards him.

“Can I please open now?” I asked, my patience running thin. Suddenly, I heard him sit in front of my again and I laughed. My heart was beating so fast right now.

“OPEN!” he exclaimed and I swiftly uncovered my eyes and saw a rabbit in his hands and a very satisfied Adam staring at me. But it was not just any rabbit…it was the bunny I saw at the pet store! The one that had a total connection with and I loved him more than anything (other than Adam).

“RAKASTAN!” I yelled, grabbing the bunny and hugging him close to my heart. His ear twitched and he snuffled his nose, pawing at my shirt. I felt tears in my eyes and I kissed his head. He was so warm and fluffy.

“Yes! I got him while you were sleeping, I snuck out. You loved him so much, and I thought this would make you happy. He can be our little baby…” Adam said, sitting next to me and placing me in his lap. He petted Rakastan and kissed my cheek. I laughed, squeezing the bunny close to me. I sighed happily, leaning my head on Adam’s chest.

“I love you so much…” I mumbled, my eyes shutting and I heard him whisper something, but I was already sleeping at that point…

…

“Mm…Adammm…” I moaned, opening and rubbing my eyes. I yawned, stretching while holding Rakastan in one arm. He squeaked and I let go of him. He hopped around in a circle then onto my lap. I grinned. “Look, Adam! Rakastan just…” I trailed off when I glanced around and did not see Adam anywhere. Not next to me sleeping…not anywhere in my field of vision anyway. This worried me…

I frowned, standing up and gazing all over the meadow. I peeked behind a tree and did not see him there either. “Adam?” I called and looked down the hill and did not see the car in the designated parking space. I gasped, my heart hammering in my chest. I glanced up, it was just around dusk, and the sun was just peering over the horizon. I felt tears in my eyes and I kept looking around for him. I whimpered, holding Rakastan close to me and I sat on the ground in the middle of the meadow. I felt completely pathetic. Where was Adam? Why would he leave me alone in the middle of nowhere with a bunny and in my squirrel footsie pajamas? I felt like such a loser…Well at least—

“What the fuck is this?” I heard someone say and I turned around and saw a large male and two other rather large males behind him. I gasped, my eyes widened. I gripped onto Rakastan and he grinned. “Look! He has the slave tattoo on his neck! Where’s your master little servant?” the leader asked and I gulped, looking at the ground. They were obviously masters themselves since they recognized the butterfly tattoo on my neck. Every servant has one so they can be categorized as a servant.

“Um…my master…left to go get something…” I whispered, feeling completely stupid. He laughed, walking up to me. I gasped lightly, shaking. I was so scared; I didn’t know what to do! Where was Adam? I really hope this is some kind of joke because this does not feel like one.

“For some reason I don’t believe you…I’m sure you know what happens to lost servants, don’t you? Especially young servants like you…We don’t need any ‘cause we already got some at home, but you’re pretty enough to make me some money…” After he said that I immediately stood up and turned around, wanting to walk away, but he grabbed my collar and tugged me back, looking even angrier. I let go of Rakastan and he hopped behind the tree. He needed to be in a safe spot because I wouldn’t allow them to hurt him too! “What?! You ignored me? It doesn’t look like your previous master taught you very well if you’re willing to walk away from a master…We’ll have to fix that though…,” he said and my eyes widened. He reached his hand up and grabbed onto the sun necklace Adam had bought for me and ripped it off, tossing it to the ground. I gasped, whining and reaching for it, but he slapped my hands away. He lifted his foot and smashed it on the necklace, shattering it and I yelped, feeling tears full my eyes.

“Ole hyvä ...” I murmured and they just smirked and surrounded me.  I shut my eyes and tried my very best to suppress all the pain they inflicted upon me. However, I knew that they had every right to do this. When I opened my eyes again, all I could see was black and then I looked down and I was moving. I was draped over someone’s shoulder and they were carrying me somewhere. I coughed a little and blood trickled down my lips. My eye was swollen and I felt busied everywhere. “Adam…” I mumbled. Someone grunted and my head pounded. I shut my eyes again and was just hoping this was all just a nightmare…


	14. Loving You is the Best I Can Do

Adam:

I sat up quickly, reclining on one elbow and rubbing my eye with my opposite hand. I looked around for the source of the ringing that woke me up. I saw the light of my phone in the grass. I quickly grabbed it, not bothering to look at the caller ID before answering the phone. What was the point?

“Hello?” I said, placing the phone to my ear. I yawned a little, looking around. Sauli was next to me, holding Rakastan in his arms. Rakastan’s eyes fluttered and looked up at me, and I smiled, petting him softly.

“ADAM. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU AND THE SLAVE?! IF YOU DON’T GET BACK TO THIS HOUSE WITH THAT SERVANT RIGHT NOW I WILL BEAT BOTH OF YOU.” My eyes widened at the sudden angry tone that had filled my ears. I suddenly realized it would have been a good idea to check my caller ID. It’s always the one time I don’t that something crazy happens.

Sauli stirred, turning over and pulling Rakastan close to him. I frowned. I couldn’t take Sauli home with me. I couldn’t risk my dad hurting him. “I-I… Give me five minutes and I’ll be home!” I said, hanging up before he could say anything else. I quickly leaned over to Sauli, kissing his cheek lightly and brushing my hand through his hair. No way was I going to wake him just so he can be in danger. I wouldn’t only be putting him in danger, either. If I woke him, he would want to come with me to make sure I was okay and to support me. And I just couldn’t let him do that. It would be risking too much.

I kissed him one last time before standing up and running towards the car. Thoughts ran through my head about what Sauli would think when he woke up and how scared he would be. But I shook the thoughts out quickly, knowing that I would be back for him in a little bit.

I got in the car, starting it and making my way home. The drive felt long, anticipated. I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want my dad to question where Sauli was. I didn’t want him to beat me when I told him that I was in love with someone that was supposed to be my slave. He was going to sell Sauli now. This was going to be the end. I tried to stop the negative thoughts, tell myself that I wouldn’t let it happen, but I couldn’t. The fear of losing the only person I actually love crept around inside of me.

Pulling into our driveway, I could see my dad’s car parked randomly, as if he was in a rush to get home and he was angry. I swallowed the lump in my throat, stepping out of the car and rushing inside.

As I closed the door behind me, I heard footsteps making their way over to where I stood. I didn’t get to take another step in the house because when I looked up, standing in front of me, was my angry father. I could tell by his crossed arms and furrowed eyebrows that I was in trouble.

“Where is the slave?” He said, shoving me a little. I groaned, trying to stammer out words. I looked at the ground, fumbling with my fingers a little. It reminded me of what Sauli did when he was nervous, and that gave me a bit of comfort.

“He’s… Uh…” I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say anymore. There was too much going through my head at the moment. I felt that if I tried to speak freely, everything would just burst out by accident and I would be in a lot more trouble than if I just keep my mouth shut.

He sighed, unfolding his arms. “Adam, I love you. But this Finn is putting too much stress on us. All of us. We can’t do this. We are going to have to sell him and get a more cooperative slave…”

My eyes widened. “NO! I don’t want another slave! I like Sauli! You’re not selling him!” I said, taking a small step forward.

“Sauli? Now you’re calling him by his first name? What is going ON, Adam?!” He shouted. I looked to the side, feeling tears well in my eyes. I had no evidence to back me up on why I wanted to keep him except for that I love him. But there was no way I was telling my control freak of a father THAT.

“You… You can’t sell him…” I looked down at my hands again.

“I’ll THINK about it, Adam… Where is he?” I glanced up and my dad had a calmer look on his face. But I knew that behind all that calmness, there was anger. And I knew that if I told him where Sauli was, he would find him and sell him. There was no doubt in my mind about that.

I could feel the anger building up inside of me. My lips pulled together into a straight line and my eyes narrowed. Then I blew up. “I FUCKING LOVE HIM, OKAY?! YOU’RE NOT SELLING HIM. HE IS MINE, NOT YOURS. YOU BOUGHT HIM FOR ME AND THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT I AM LETTING YOU TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME!”

My voice was loud now, much like my father’s. But I had more anger than he did. I also had defense. I wasn’t letting anyone steal Sauli away from me. Ever.

My dad’s eyes widened, then his eyes narrowed in on me. He took a step closer. “What… In God’s name… Did you just say?”

I gasped, realizing what I had just said. Now I was for a loss at words. There was nothing else I could do but be honest. “I… We’re in love, Dad. Do you really want to take the love of my life and all my happiness away from me?”

My dad sighed again, looking me in the eyes. “You fell for a nineteen year old Finnish slave… DO YOU KNOW HOW RIDICULOUS THAT SOUNDS, ADAM?! YOU CAN’T EMBARRASS ME AND YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT. YOU ARE NOT KEEPING HIM.”

“I LOVE HIM AND I WILL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!” I said quickly, running out the door and to the car. I could hear my father’s yelling behind me, but I ignored it, hopping in the car and breathing heavily. All I wanted to do right now was holding Sauli in my arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay. I wanted to tell him I loved him and I wanted him to say back to me. I wanted to be safe. I wanted to run away from our fears together and just live happily for the rest of our lives.

But I knew that couldn’t happen.

I started the car, driving as fast as I could back to the hill. I had no thoughts going on in my brain right now. The blur of the trees I was passing by was the only peaceful image I was seeing at the moment.

When I arrived at the hill, I jumped out of the car, running up it. I had to admit, it wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to run up a steep hill at full speed. Especially when you are already out of breath from yelling so much.

When I got to the top of the hill, I looked around, smiling. I guess I was hoping to see Sauli. But my smile faded when there was no one in sight. All I could see was the tree. I ran over to it, looking up. Sauli wasn’t in the tree, or on the ground. Tears started to well in my eyes and my heart started beating faster. How could I be so careless?! I left him here all alone to fend for himself!

I felt something rub up against my leg and I jumped a little, looking down at the furry creature. Rakastan sat next to my leg, looking up at me with big eyes. I picked him up, holding him tight. Sauli had picked out the most interesting and cute pet I had ever seen in my life. I just wished I could have Sauli back…

“Where is he, Rakastan?” I said, walking around the tree and looking all around. Suddenly, something shiny caught my attention. I ran over to it, leaning down and picking up the shattered necklace I had given to Sauli at the mall. It was broken in about ten pieces. I felt more wetness in my eyes. This time, though, I let the tears fall. It was now obvious to me that something bad had happened to Sauli. I stuck his necklace in my jean pocket for safekeeping.

When I looked up from where I was squatted on the ground, I saw something red smeared on some of the flowers. I walked over to it, examining it before the tears started to fall faster. Sauli’s blood made a trail on the once-so-beautiful flowers. I didn’t want to look at it, but I had to. There was nothing else I could do. I had to follow the trail to see if it led me to Sauli.

I didn’t even realize we had made it to the road until the trail stopped and there was something else. All over the pavement were skid marks from a car. My head suddenly started to spin and everything was going blurry. Rakastan fell out of my hands and I felt him scurry to my feet again. Suddenly, I fell to the ground.

And I was out.

***

I opened my eyes when I felt a wet substance on my face. I saw Rakastan sitting on my chest, his tongue roaming all over my face. I giggled, sitting up and holding him in my arms. “Rakastan, I just had the worst dream...” My heart froze and I looked around. Sauli was nowhere to be seen, and it was getting dark out. I started to pant.

So it wasn’t all a dream. Sauli was really gone. Someone had come and taken him. Someone has my baby right now. My happiness. My life. The only thing that makes me happy.

I put my face in my hands and I started to cry. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t move. And to make it all worse, I had no clues of where Sauli might be right now. I just couldn’t seem to grasp the fact that…

He was gone.


	15. Fear And Loathing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of Tommy and Sauli, hm?

Sauli:

My head felt heavy and when I slowly opened my eyes, everything was smashed together in an abstract painting. Blues…grays…blacks…everything was morphed together and it made me want to throw up. All these colors swirled around and I blinked again, hoping my vision would return. I coughed lightly, feeling like I was going to puke, but there was nothing in my tummy to heave up. In addition, my head was so clouded, I couldn’t tell which way was up or down…And there was some rustling and ugh…Stop thinking…

I sat up, feeling my stomach turn and I gagged, coughing and moaning. I grabbed my head and I felt the bed shift and I gasped lightly, trying to see, but it was still all blurry. “Adam?” I mumbled, blinking and rubbing my eyes. I yawned, licking my lips. Okay, so obviously, I was at Adam’s house and Adam sat right next to me. However, why did I hurt so badly? We didn’t have sex, right? Ergh, whatever, I just need to shut up…Stupid…

“Adam? No…Hi, I’m Tommy. I am guessing you’re my new roommate in this hellhole. For awhile anyway,” he said and I blinked, my vision clearing and I smiled, thinking I was going to see Adam even though the man lucidly stated he was someone named Tommy (and his voice wasn’t even close to Adam’s anyway).

When my vision returned to its normal glory, I saw a young man in front of me. Actually, he wasn’t too young…he looked older than I…Late twenties; early thirties, for sure. His hair was a dirty blond and it looked like he had been dying it blond, but then suddenly stopped and his roots were coming in (I wanted so badly to touch them up too). Half of his head was fuzzy with short hair spiking up while the other side was long and draped over his face. He had large chocolaty brown eyes that were extremely hypnotizing. Of course, not nearly as memorizing as Adam’s, but still beautiful. He had large lips and a soft baby face. Though, he was dressed in clothes regular servants wore. I use to dress in those too until Adam made me change…I glanced down and saw that I was in the original garbage bags I arrived at Adam’s in. Did someone change me? “Hello?” the boyish voice asked and I gasped, looking back up at him. My heart pounded and I was suddenly terrified.

“Oh…H-Hello…Moi…Hello…” I mumbled, glancing back up at him and he looked like he thought I was insane. I just needed to know where I was and what happened. My head was pounded and I wanted Adam back… “If…If you don’t mind me asking…Where am I?” I questioned and he sighed, looking around. I looked around too and noticed we were both in a small gray cage-like area. There was a door that looked bolted down and two cots placed by one another with a pillow and thin blanket, but that was all on the cement floor. That was it. Miserable situation.

“Um…Well, you’re in a building where they keep slaves they’re going to auction off to the rich. They keep them in separate rooms so we cannot plan a conspiracy to escape. And now you’re my roommate…” he said and I gasped, feeling tears well up in my eyes. He raised an eyebrow at me, looking skeptical.

“A-Auction us off? Where is Adam though? I want Adam! En halua olla tässä paikassa!” I exclaimed and felt the tears fall over my eyes. He squeaked, shaking his hands and wiping my tears with his soft thumb. I started sobbing, feeling my shoulders shake and I felt like I really was going to throw up! I was going to be auctioned off?! I have been sold plenty of times before, but never auctioned! Or auctioned away from a master that I fell in love with! I can’t be sold! I need to find Adam! Why was I even here?! Adam said he would never sell me anyway! Then the images of those evil men kidnapping me forced themselves into my brain and I bit my bottom lip, feeling my cheeks become wetter. What were they doing there anyway?

“D-Don’t cry! If they hear you crying, they will come in here and beat us both! The guards, I mean, please, stop…,” he whispered and I bit my bottom lip harder, wiping away my tears. I did not want Tommy to be hit because of my weak backbone. I needed to suck it up…Adam would find me…Eventually, I knew he would. Never, he would never do this to me.

“B-But I want Adam back…you don’t understand…” I mumbled and he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He seemed frustrated and a bit confused about what I was doing and I didn’t blame him in the least.

“Was Adam your old master? Obviously, he was a dick since you are here. If he wanted you, then you wouldn’t be here…This place is terrible,” he said, then when he saw my eyes become teary he quickly tried to settle on something less harsh. “Hey, it’ll be alright…” he cooed. But it didn’t help me at all…I knew he was trying to help, but he really didn’t understand!

“N-No…See….He loves me…and I love him…We are in love…He is my boyfriend…” I said, looking down at my hands and fiddling with them, trying to contain myself. Maybe Adam really didn’t want me anymore, and that is why he left. What other excuse was there? He gave me Rakastan to distract me while he fled. Oh, my god…I reached up for my necklace to show Tommy that Adam really did love me, but that’s when I remembered that the mean men took it and smashed it. I don’t think Adam would care though…He left me on my own and I couldn’t think of any plausible reason why he would do that unless he just wanted to get rid of me.

A shudder ran down my spine and I felt more tears fall silently. “Hey, it’s okay…Most masters are fucking assholes. Adam was just playing you…Its happened to me before. Then I beat the shit outta my master, so that’s why I’m here. I have been here like…three days so they can try and ‘tame my wild side’. Assholes. It’ll be okay for you though!” he said and I frowned, looking up at him. He smiled, patting my head. “What’s your name?” he asked and I sniffled, rubbing my nose. Tommy had a weird vibe about it. Easy going, even in this horrid situation.

“S-Sauli…” I said, my lips twitching into a small smile. “Hi, Tommy…” I finally said and he laughed, patting my back again, rubbing up and down in a soothing way.

“I like your accent! Are you European?” he asked and I nodded, smiling a little more and looking at him more confidently.

“Yes…Finnish. You beat up your old master? You are strong? May I see your muscles?” I asked and he laughed, giving me that same look of ‘are you fucking serious right now?’.  I didn’t mind though because Adam had a similar look. But it was more of ‘You’re kidding right?’. I loved it nonetheless….

“Are you bipolar? Like five seconds you were crying, now you’re asking to see my muscles?” he asked and I blushed, shrugging.

“I am a positive person. Plus, you are very easy to get along with…If I sit here and be negative, I am going explode and rip my hair out…” I mumbled and he laughed again, giving me a loose hug. I gasped, swiftly wrapping my arms around him and burying my head into his neck. I felt him tense up a little, but I just squeezed him tighter. I didn’t know what was going on, where Adam was, or how to even…fuck. I was so confused, but I felt like I could trust Tommy, and I was hoping I really could right now.

“Man, you are positive. That’s cool. I was just planning on living in this room all by myself until I ended up shooting my brains out or something. I like that you came along. Thanks,” he said, pulling back from the hug and smiling. I smiled back. I was worried. I wanted Adam, but I knew he would come get me. He would not leave me here all alone….I’ll just have to wait here with Tommy until he comes and retrieves me…

***

I yawned, snuggling into the pillow, with a small smile. Life in this hellhole was not as bad as I expected. I mean, I only was whipped twice in the week, so that’s good, right? I mean…my back hurt like a bitch and everything, but I have to remain positive. Plus. I have Tommy. If I didn’t have Tommy, then I would agree to being sad because I would be all alone. But he’s amazing! Like my best friend that I never had! And I really think he liked me too, but I will not complain! He taught me the ropes (what to do, what not to do) and I adored him for it! He seemed to get a kick outta me following him around like a lost puppy dog, but I really didn’t have a choice. Plus he made me feel safe…

Adam never came for me. I was hoping he would…I guess he never really did want me and he did all this on purpose…Why though? This question kept pondering in my head, but I tried to repress them because the more I thought about it, the sadder it made me feel. Like our love wasn’t even real anymore…Like I thought it was at one point.

The bed shifted and I felt someone wrap their arms around my waist and pull me into a tight hug. I laughed, turning around and hugging Tommy. He hugged back, patting my head. Tommy had really saved me in this place. Without him, I would have done everything wrong and I really did not want that to happen.

“Hey!” he said, lying back on the bed and pulling me back with him. I smiled, snuggling into his chest. I wouldn’t say I liked him….Well, I liked him as a friend of course, but more than that? I wasn’t sure. He was so kind and so much different from Adam. Adam was sweet, loving, and caring. So…amazing. Tommy was all those things, but he was assertive and had another whole side to him. A wild side and there was something about that that just turned me on. Moreover, I felt terrible and regretted this feeling, but I was never going to see Adam again. I accepted this fact because I know he didn’t want me anymore…So maybe I could start a new life with Tommy? One day?

“Hi, Tommy,” I responded, looking up at him shyly. He smiled, patting my head again and closing his eyes. He seemed like such a tired person, yet, at night, he would never sleep. It was so weird. I was thinking we were just going to go to sleep again because that was all we ever did. Sleep and talk together (not that I was complaining), however, he seemed to have something else on his mind.

Just as I closed my eyes, I felt something soft and wet on my lips. I quickly opened my eyes, seeing Tommy’s face close and his lips pressed against mine. Something in my brain told me to pull away, but everything else was screaming, telling me to continue. I took the latter.

A soft moan escaped my lips and this enticed him. He rolled over, straddling my waist and cupping my face with one of his hands. His slipped up, grabbing my blond hair and tugging at it. I hissed, gripping onto his shirt and pulling him closer, kissing him hard. He groaned, licking at my bottom lip and I gladly opened, wanting his full access. His tongue entered and we fought, but obviously, he won. My other arm snaked up and wrapped around his neck. I purred, savoring his lips, feeling like complete heaven. I thought it was never going to end…

Until Tommy suddenly stopped and I whined, trying to pull him back down, but he glanced to the side where the door was. Why did he stop?

“Tommyyyyy….” I moaned and he swiftly got off me, lying on the bed and pulling me close. I could hear his heart thrashing against his chest.

“Shhh, Sauli…” he whispered and I raised an eyebrow, looking at him skeptically. I didn’t hear anything! Then the door handle turned and I froze. No one had ever ENTERED the room before. Tommy and I always needed to leave…

When it was swung open, I squeaked and Tommy immediately sat up, glaring at the two large male guards dressed in black.

“Sauli Koskinen. It’s the day of your auction. Get up, you’re coming with us,” he said and I gasped, looking at Tommy. His eyes widened and he looked back at me. However, contrary to what I thought he was going to do, he urged me to get up, pushing me off the bed so I fell onto my feet and was standing up. I looked at him with terrified eyes.

“I don’t want to go Tommy,” I said, reaching out and grabbing his hand. He sniffled, shaking his head and smiling sadly at me before glaring back at the men who grasped my hand away from Tommy and started shoving me out the door. I whined, looking back at Tommy, hoping he had some way out of this. He was so clever and could think of anything! Couldn’t he think of a way to get me outta this?

“It’s okay, just go. I will find you once I get out of here, I promise. Once I do, we can be together…Trust me…I’ll find you,” he said and I gasped as I was completely out the door and it slammed shut, Tommy on the other side. The fear was building up inside me and I felt like I was gonna pee my pants or throw up or something. They practically dragged me to this weird room. It was white and as one man held me while the other went up to the counter and grabbed a couple things. He walked back over and held it up. It was a large black pill and a glass of water.

“Take this pill Finn. You’re lucky we’re giving you this then injecting you with the real stuff. Take it,” he demanded, shoving the pill in my mouth and forcing the water down. I coughed and choked, but the pill fell down my throat and plopped into my stomach. I gagged and the larger man lifted me up and draped me over his shoulder. I moaned as he walked, my head bobbing up and down. For some reason, my back suddenly felt wet and it hurt. Was I whipped again or something? Ow…

My vision got blurry and I opened my eyes slightly and saw a black-haired man whom looked slightly familiar, but my brain felt like mush. It slipped out of my lips and the rest went black.

“Adam…”


	16. Burning Touch

Adam:

I ran my fingers through my hair, glancing at myself in the mirror one last time before grabbing my keys and heading out the door. It had been about a week since Sauli was taken from me, and I haven’t stopped crying. My search had continued every day, but I never got any new hints as to where he could be. I decided that it would probably be a good idea to get out of the house because isolating myself wasn’t going to do much for me.

Sighing, I climbed in the car and put the key in the ignition. I turned the key, starting the engine and driving away from the house. Ever since the fight with my dad, he hasn’t been talking to me. He knew about Sauli being gone, and I suspected he thought I had gotten rid of him myself because I had never actually told him the story. I did blame myself, though, for Sauli being taken (I suspected he was taken, I didn’t know for sure). If I had never left him, he wouldn’t be suffering somewhere all alone right now. But, as much as I wish I could, I can’t go back and change the past. It is what it is and I have to deal with it and keep searching for him. Because I would never give up.

I pulled into the parking lot of the park, getting out of the car and shoving my hands in my pockets and walking on the sidewalk. I was hoping this would help calm my nerves for just a little bit. I had been crying myself to sleep and, as pathetic as this sounds, I just cannot live without Sauli. I know, you think I’m just being sappy and shit, but I genuinely love him and I just don’t think I can survive another day without him. I sighed again, walking past happy couples and playing children. I tried to distract my mind from Sauli, so I just watched people. I wanted to be happy again, like all of them. But I knew that wouldn’t happen for a while.

I kept walking, passing a man reading a newspaper. I glanced at what he was reading, because I had nothing better to do. But something on the black-and-white page caught my eye. I ran over to the man on the bench, grabbing his newspaper. He yelled something at me, but I ignored him, reading the large ad printed on page three.

_RARE FINNISH SLAVE TO BE AUCTIONED OFF!_

_TODAY AT THREE O’CLOCK._

_GO TO 549 WOODWELL DRIVE_.

I gasped, feeling wetness push at the back of my eyes. Could this be him? Could this be my baby? Did I really have a chance to get him back? The man’s sudden yelling pulled me out of my trance. I glanced at him before ripping the ad out of his newspaper. “I’m so sorry!” I yelled to him as I began to run towards my car. This could be it. I could get Sauli back today. I could have him brighten my days again.

As I got in the car, I glanced at the clock, my heart beating fast. It was only two, so I still had an hour to get there. I decided that I needed to get some money first, so I quickly drove to the bank. My heart wouldn’t settle down as I got all the money out of my account, also assuming I could write a check. I knew my dad would find out about this and he would be angry, but I didn’t care. I just needed to get Sauli back, and I hoped he would get over the fact that Sauli is a slave and understand.

I pulled the ad out of my pocket, looking at the address again. I knew exactly where this was because I used to pass it on my way to work. I never actually knew about the terrible things that happened in this building, though. I glanced at the clock again. Good thing the place was close, because it was already two thirty. I started driving, my heart still not ceasing its extreme pumping.

All I wanted to do right now was cry. But I knew I couldn’t do that, because I had to be strong for my baby. I had to win him and auction as much as I could. I wouldn’t give up on this.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw other men, probably older than me, walking through the enormous gates and up to the guard standing at the front door. I got out of my car quickly, my money in one hand and the ad in the other. I didn’t, for some reason, want to put it down. When I got up to the door, I gulped, beginning to speak to the guard. “I-Is this where the Finnish slave is being auctioned off?” He glanced at me.

“Yes. I.D., please,” he said, holding out his hand. I reached into my pocking, pulling out the card and handing it to him. He nodded, handing it back to me and continued to speak. “Walk straight. First door on the left is the auction room. I believe they are drugging him now. Good luck.” My eyes went wide and I nodded. Drugging him? Is he okay? So many questions were running through my head and my stomach turned at the thought of my poor baby being drugged. He was too fragile and weak for this…

I stepped inside the cold building, following the directions the guard had given to me. I took a deep breath before slowly opening the door, seeing a room filled with middle –aged to older men. In the center if the room, there was a large stage-like circle, enclosed by glass. Surrounding that, the men were all sitting in large chairs that looked a bit like throne chairs. A sudden surge of anger rushed through me. These men were all here to try to win my baby away from me. I growled under my breath, taking a seat at the back of the room. I glanced around. There was nothing in the glass yet, but I suspected there would be soon…

I suddenly heard someone, moaning and struggling. I looked towards the glass again, not really able to see what was going on. It was too dark to see details, but I could see the outline of someone thrashing as two men held him down. There was a third man who shoved a needle into the struggling man’s arm and I gasped as he calmed down, suddenly not being able to support himself anymore. The men with the needle suddenly disappeared with one of the other men, and all that was left was the struggling man and his supporter.

A spotlight came on suddenly, and I could see clearly now what was happening. Sauli stood in the middle of the glass, only a pair of baggy jeans gracing his figure. His chest was exposed and I could see fresh whip scars gracing his once-smooth skin. A man stood next to him, holding him up as he swooned, not able to stand on his own. I gasped, tears filling my eyes, but I suppressed them as a lady’s voice came over the speaker.

“Gentlemen, this is a very rare Finnish slave. They are known to work very well in both pleasurable situations and in cleaning situations. The bid will start at $500,000. Do I have any takers?”

Rage filled me. I had to win him. There was no way I was letting anyone else take Sauli home tonight. “$600,000!” I shouted, glancing around. No one else seemed to be speaking and I smiled, sitting back in my seat.

Suddenly, a voice came from across the room. “$900,000!” I looked at the man, raising his hand as he spoke. He shot me a look and I glared. Oh, so you want to play this game?

“$950,000!” I said, raising my hand as I spoke. I glanced at Sauli as he swooned from side to side, leaning on the man supporting him. He needed me. I needed to take care of him. I had to win.

“ONE MILLION DOLLARS!” The man said, looking over at me. I growled. He shot me a look and I shot one back. Everyone else was silent. I was surprised no one else was placing any bids. I guess they just wanted to see who was going to win.

“Fuck,” I said, getting angry. I couldn’t let this man win. I stood from my chair. “FOUR MILLION DOLLARS!” I looked at the man, smirking. He growled, standing abruptly and knocking over his chair. He flipped me the bird before walking out of the room. A large smile spread across my face and a few tears filled my eyes. I had just won my baby back…

I watched as they pulled Sauli out of the glass to a back room, and I laughed a little, filled with so many emotions.

A few minutes later, a woman dressed in a long black dress came over to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me to the back room. When I got there, Sauli was standing with the man who had been supporting him in the glass. I smiled, running over to him and hugging him. “We will send you the check in the mail,” the woman said to me. “Enjoy.”

I hugged Sauli tightly, kissing his forehead before picking him up bridal style and carrying him out of the building and to the car. When we got there, I put him in the passenger seat. His head lolled from side to side as I kissed him gently, reaching into my pocket.

I had held onto it ever since I found it in the grass in the meadow. “I fixed this…” I said, pulling Sauli’s necklace out of my pocket and placing it around his neck. He seemed to be too drugged up to notice, but I knew he would notice it when he was sober again. All I had done was glue it back together. It didn’t look the same, but it meant the same.

The drive home was quick, and when we did get home, I picked Sauli up bridal style again, carrying him in the house and to our bedroom. I placed him in the bed, not bothering to change him. It was getting late, and it had been a long day. We both needed to sleep, so I climbed in bed with Sauli, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him close to me. It had never felt so good to hold my baby. I smiled to myself.

I had my sunshine back.


	17. With Truth, Comes Pain

Sauli:

When I opened my eyes, all I could see was, once again, a giant mist of colors that surrounded my head in an optical illusion, it seemed. I kept blinking, hoping it would allow my vision to function, but it continued to be stupid. Everything looked the same and each time my head pounded, it made my vision alter again. It would start to clear up then a pulse undulated throughout my head, making it mix again.

I sighed, biting my bottom lip and closing my eyes again. I really could not remember anything past being taken away from Tommy.  Then it’s all…just…nothing. I am pretty sure it was the drugs that made me this way. Disoriented and such. Then I opened my eyes and a wooden ceiling was the first thing I saw. This was odd because in my room with Tommy, it was gray concrete. Then I turned my head to the side and saw a bedside table. Upon it were two rubber ducks. Cookie and Milk. But I didn’t have them in the room with me…So…Where did they come from? Now that I think about, this bed is weird too. It’s really soft and warm unlike the cot Tommy and I slept on.

I moaned lightly, feeling a surge of pain shoot from my back to my head and throb again. I gasped, squeezing my eyes shut and whimpering. It hurt so bad…I was not sure what was wrong, but I was guessing my whip wounds opened or something, I dunno. I just wanted to stop being in pain and…man, I hate it here. I wanted to get away from it all and find Tommy so he could tell me what to do and what was going on. Then something penetrated my eardrums and I heard soft and smooth humming emitting from some other room, but it was close enough for me to hear. It sounded familiar and I tried getting up, but then the pain got worse and I whimpered loudly, feeling tears in my eyes. Then I heard soft thumping as I closed my eyes, trying to make it go away.

“Sauli? Baby? Are you okay…?” I heard a feathery voice and my eyes widened and I shot up, the pain from my wounds suddenly miniscule in contrast to the voice I suddenly heard. I looked at him and he was just as beautiful as I remembered. That black hair, those blue eyes, that amazing style, tall stature, tight pants, hip shirt…those freckled lips.

“A-Adam…?” I whispered and he smiled lightly, sitting on the bed and I kept staring at him. This couldn’t be real…How did he know where I was? Did he take me back from the horrible place? Was my assumption wrong and he actually did want me now?

He lifted his hands, touching my face and I felt that spark I had missed so much. That spark of happiness, love, and amazement. His lips stretched further into his famous smile and he breathed lightly, that cool mint air gracing my face, “Yes, Baby? What is it?” he asked. I opened my mouth, trying to say anything, but nothing came out. I settled on taking in a deep breath and tackling him in a hug. He gasped falling backwards and lying on the bed. I felt tears in my eyes and I buried my head into his chest, straddling his waist and squeezing my hold around his waist. The smile on my face was incomprehensible. The amount of excitement I felt was something I had never felt before! Adam was here, he was real, and I was touching him! This is the best thing ever!

“I-I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. YOU HAVE NO IDEA! I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M TOUCHING YOU!” I yelled, hugging him even tighter; I was pretty sure I was making it hard for him to breath, but he did not object.  I just needed to keep holding him so I knew he was real. I needed to inhale his scent and touch him. He was so soft and he smelt amazing. God….

“I know, baby. I missed you too, so much. You have no idea…I am so happy I was able to win you at the auction. I don’t know what I would be able to do if I didn’t find you…,” he said, holding me back and kissing my head lovingly. He began petting my hair, started humming a lullaby, and I sighed, smiling and shutting my eyes. My heart was beating so fast, I think it might just jump out of my chest. I could not believe he was here right now. I just wanted to keep feeling him right now. My Adam was back….

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I missed you, and I missed you!” I repeated, opening my eyes and pulling back. I gripped onto his shirt, pulling him towards me and kissing him hard on the lips. As soon as our lips touched, a shudder ran up my spine and I felt the spark once more. I moaned loudly, sucking and forcing his mouth open with my eager tongue. I needed him right now. I missed him so much and I couldn’t resist anymore. I knew he wanted to kiss me too because he pushed against me, battling my tongue. Suddenly, he pulled away slightly and gasped, staring me in the eyes. I looked into his and all I saw was a vast ocean of blue.

“I missed these lips so much…,” he groaned, pushing me back on the bed and straddling my waist, holding my cheek. I just wanted to keep kissing him…but then my brain racked around and the brewing question leaked. I should have kept my mind on ease because I wanted us to just be happy, but I needed to ask him.

I pulled back and he opened his eyes, looking at me oddly. I frowned, feeling tears swell up once again, “Why did you leave me, Adam? Did you hire those mean men to take me away so you didn’t have to deal with me?” I asked, my heart breaking in two as I asked the question. His eyebrows furrowed together and he sat up on my stomach, shaking his head. I didn’t want to know the answer because he might say yes…

“N-No…I…I would never hire anyone to take you away! You are my boyfriend…my best friend…It was my dad. I mean, I don’t think he hired those men…But it wasn’t me! You see, my dad called me and he wanted to hurt you…and I couldn’t let him. So I left and once I came back…you were gone,” he said and I bit my bottom lip, glancing to the side. Was it true or did he just think of a giant elaborate lie about it? So I would believe him? I didn’t know anymore….

“You could have woken me up…if you didn’t want me, I understand Adam…I wouldn’t hold it against you,” I told him and he gasped, holding my face and he frowned. Frowns do not look good on his beautiful face.

“No! I don’t want to get rid of you! I love you! I couldn’t wake you up because I know you would want to come with me and I couldn’t risk you getting hurt! I thought it was best for you…I love you…” he said, rubbing his thumb on my cheek. I looked up at him, his blue eyes twinkling and I sighed.

“I would have rather gotten hurt by your father then spend a week away from you in that horrific place…” I mumbled and he sighed, slumping his shoulders. I glanced at him and I frowned, exhaling slightly.

“I know baby. It was a huge mistake. I love you and…I am so, so sorry. But my dad was gonna sell you…” he whispered and I grabbed his hand, lacing our fingers. I looked at him and he smiled a little bit. I sighed, frowning even deeper.

“Adam, how much did you pay to get me back? Too much…Any amount of money is too much,” I said and he shook his head, kissing my forehead. His lips were soft and chaste.

“Sunshine, that doesn’t matter. I have you back. The amount I paid means nothing anymore. I have you. And I love you,” he said and I smiled, leaning up and kissing him lightly on the lips. I ran my fingers through his luscious black hair. I was trying to calm myself before I told him what I thought. I pulled back, looking serious.

“Adam, when your dad finds out how much you spent, he’ll sell me for sure! He will be so mad! Please take me back so you can reimburse your money!” I begged and he laughed, kissing me on the lips and pulling back.

“Sweetheart, calm down. I will make up an excuse, don’t worry. I will never let anything tear us apart as long as I’m alive,” he said and I smiled weakly, leaning my head against his chest. He held me closer to and I sat in his lap, nuzzled into him. It felt like complete heaven…

Nevertheless, I needed to tell him. About Tommy. About us kissing and sleeping in the same bed. About my feelings towards him; they weren’t strong…no, not nearly as strong as the feelings I have towards Adam, but there was something there and I felt completely awful about obtaining them. There was nothing I could do though. I just needed to tell him before this went any further. I could not lie.

“Um…Adam…There’s something else I need to tell you,” I murmured and he purred, petting my hair softly. I gulped, sitting up and staring directly at him. He smiled, rubbing my cheek.

“What is it baby? You can tell me anything you want,” he said and I fiddled with my fingers, avoiding his gaze. He forced me to look at him and he looked so docile. Though, I knew he wouldn’t be after I told him…

“Well I met a boy…while I was at that place…and we were roommates…” I mumbled and I felt his hand drop from my face. I felt embarrassed and regretful of my actions. Just get this over with Sauli.

“Go on…” he said, looking at me hard. I gulped down again, feeling suddenly hot. I hated this. He was so big compared to me right now (even though he was all the time), but I was scared about the outcome.

“I-I…we…slept in the same bed…A-And…we kissed…well, made-out kind of…and I sort of…liked him…well, I do like him, but I…” I didn’t know what else to say. What else COULD I say for that matter? I just admitted to my boyfriend that while I was away, I practically cheated on him with someone else whom I had known for a week! It sounded ridiculous!

I looked up again and Adam’s eyes were wide. His mouth hung slightly opened and then suddenly shut, his jaw clenched shut. “I should…I should have fucking known! I can’t leave you alone at all without you falling for someone, can I?!” he yelled, standing up from the bed. My heart hammered in my chest and I felt scared. Was he going to hit me because he was so angered? I flinched, looking down at the sheets, gripping onto them.

“N-No! I didn’t fall for him, I promise! He just helped me around and he was my o-only friend, please understand, Adam,” I begged and he shook his head, glaring at me. I wanted to crawl into a ball and die.

“I don’t understand! I thought you loved me! Because if you did, you wouldn’t kiss someone you knew for a week!” he yelled and I felt tears trickle down my face and I shook my head, sniffling.

“T-Tommy and I are just friends. I love you more than anything…please…” I pleaded, reaching out and touching his hand. He immediately pulled it away from my touch and growled, his eyes feeling like daggers in my chest.

“FUCK!” he shouted and I gasped, my shoulders shaking as sobs made their way up my throat. How could he think that? I do not understand…

“I-I’m so sorry…Y-You hate me now…I-I ruin everything…” I said, bringing my hands up to my face and feeling tears fall from my eyes. I felt like such an idiot. How could I allow all of this to happen?

“No…I don’t hate you…I could never hate you. It’s just…First Niko, now this…I just don’t know, Sauli,” he said and I sobbed even harder, my shoulders shaking violently. I felt the bed shift and I knew Adam sat down, but I did not want his pity. I deserved all of this.

“I know! I am worthless! I am a worthless whore slave! I am so sorry for everything! I’m terrible!” I exclaimed, I felt his hand rub against my injured back (though I noticed there were bandages on my cuts; Adam must have put them there while I slept), and I shook my head. When his hand made contact with my back, it oddly did not hurt. He was magically or something and now I had lost him! He sighed and I wiped my eyes, hiccupping.

“No, not at all. I’m sorry, I overreacted, I'm so damn possessive and jealous…I understand how you might have thought I abandoned you, but I didn’t…because I love you so much…” he said and I shook my head again, my vision still blurry with tears.

“No! I am stupid and worthless. You shouldn’t love me!” I said, scooting away from him on the bed. I crawled to the other side and gripped onto the covers, sniffing.

“Well I do love you. And you can’t change that…” he said, crawling over and wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck. I groaned, pushing him, but he wouldn’t budge. I wanted out of his hold because I did not deserve his love! I needed to get away from him because he was a fool for loving me! “I love you…”

“No! I’m not good for you!” I said and he laughed, grabbing my face and licking my cheek. I shuddered and he brought me between his legs, nibbling on my earlobe. I moaned lightly, grabbing onto his pants.

“You’re perfect for me. Please just tell me you’re over that Tommy guy,” he breathed and I nodded, leaning my head against his shoulder. He kissed my nose and licked my lips. He brought his other hand up and wiped the wetness from my face, the utmost of tenderness covering his perfect irises.

“There’s nothing to get over…Besides…Tommy didn’t have freckles,” I said, turning around and kissing him.

“God, I missed you so much,” he said, pushing me down onto the bed and straddling my waist. He tugged on my shirt, making me lean up so he could kiss my lips. I moaned, sucking on his bottom lip, pulling on it like an animal trying to pry meat off the bone.

“I bet I missed you more, my love,” I said, tugging on his hair and he purred, pinning my arms above my head.

“Show me…how much you love me…” he said, sliding his free hand up my shirt and trailing his cold fingertips down my naked chest and I squeaked, shuddering and looking up back him.

“You wouldn’t be able…to handle it, babe,” I told him, lifting my knee up to his crotch and rubbing it. He gasped and I smirked. “Told you, Master…”

“Well then I have to teach you a lesson…” 


	18. Hot Pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, yes. I suck at updating stories.

Adam:

“Well then I guess I have to teach you a lesson,” I said to him, leaning over and nipping at his earlobe. He moaned, wiggling and trying to pull his hands from my grasp. I held them down harder on the bed, leaning up and looking him in the eyes. “No, you’re my bitch tonight,” he moaned again and smirked at me.

“Then take me, Master,” he said, growling a bit at me in a seductive way. I smirked back at him, rolling my hips on his, creating friction that felt heavenly. We both moaned, and I released his hands, sitting up and pulling my shirt off. I then went to work on his, swiftly pulling it over his head and attacking one of his nipples. I sucked hard, biting as he moaned. His hands gripped my hair, pulling it harshly, which just so happened to be a major turn on for me.

Sitting up, I bounced on his stomach before moving myself down to his waist where I came face to face with his hard on, which was clearly visible through his jeans. I looked up at him, smirking before licking at the zipper. He moaned, shutting his eyes as I caught his zipper between my teeth, pulling it down before also unbuttoning his jeans with my teeth. It was hard to unbutton jeans with your mouth, I had to admit, but it was totally worth it. Sauli was squirming the whole time.

By the time his pants were down, my own cock was throbbing just as much as Sauli’s. Anything kinky turned me on. Even if I was the one pleasing someone else. Sauli wiggled, pulling at my hair. I quickly pulled down his underwear, looking at his pulsing cock. I eagerly took the head of it in my mouth, tasting the sweet pre cum. He moaned deeply, gripping at my hair again. I took him all the way in (My gag reflex is amazing!), biting down and dragging my teeth across his length. He yelled out, bucking his hips into me. I sucked, tasting more of him. I could tell he was about to give out, and I was so tempted to bring him there. But I couldn’t, because I had something else in mind.

I pulled my mouth from his erection and he whined. I moved up to his face, kissing him hard. My tongue escaped my mouth, pinning down his. He moaned, biting on my tongue. I pulled back, smirking at him.

“Adaaaammm! Don’t leave me like that! You have to finish what you started! I was about to co-“

I cut him off, placing my lips on his and biting at his bottom lip. “Last time I checked,” I said, pulling away, “You’re MY bitch…” I lightly ran my hand over his hard on and he squirmed.

“O-Okay…But please, Master… Get in me…” his eyes shut as I licked at his sweet spot on his neck. I pulled back, sitting on his stomach. I waited a minute before leaning down to his ear again.

“How about… You top?” I whispered. I heard him giggle, and he pulled my face to his, kissing me hard.

“Funny, Adam. Just get in me,” he said, nipping at my neck and tugging on my hair. As much as I wanted to give in, I couldn’t. I was always up for a change.

I pulled away, searching his face. He actually thought I was joking? “I’m serious, Sauli… We should switch it up this time…” I said, climbing off him and reaching over to the bedside table, grabbing some lube and a condom from the drawer. I handed them to Sauli and he looked up at me, wide-eyed.

“A-Adam… I don’t think this is a good idea…,” he said, shifting his gaze from my eyes to the bottle of lube.

“Why not?” I asked. Now I was the confused one. I stared at his face, and I saw fear, nervousness… But somewhere in there, there was lust. I knew there was. There had to be.

“I… I n-never have… before…” He said, looking up at me shyly. A slight frown tugged at my lips. It’s not like I hadn’t expected this. He has been a slave for almost all of his life. All his masters probably never wanted him to top.

“Baby, it’s okay. I know that. There is a first time for everything, right? Please…” I said, placing my hands on his chest and kissing him lightly and passionately, unlike the dirty kisses we had been having all night.

When I pulled away, he bit his lip, looking away. After about five seconds, he looked back at me and nodded, saying, “Okay… But I probably won’t be that good…”

I smiled wide, sitting up so he could reposition himself to get the condom and lube on. “No, you won’t, baby. You’ll do fine,” I said, before watching him slowly un-wrap the condom. I bit my lip, realizing how long it has been since I last bottomed… This was going to hurt for me, almost as if I was a virgin again…

Sauli started to put the condom on, and he moaned, so I decided to quickly pull my jeans off. Once they were off, I looked back up at Sauli who held a bottle of lube in one hand. He looked at me, now finished with putting the condom on. I smiled at him lightly, crawling over and laying down on my back, pulling him on top of me. I kissed him hard before letting him go. I stayed lying on my back while he was on his knees at the other end.

He took a deep breath, giving me a look of nervousness before squirting some lube into his hand. He slowly ran it over his cock, letting out a few small moans until he was completely covered.

“Go ahead, it’ll be okay,” I said, not wanting to admit that I was nervous for my own reasons, too. It has been so long…

Sauli took his cock in his hands, placing it at my entrance. He pushed in the tiniest bit and I bit my bottom lip, trying to suppress my yells of sudden pain. He pushed in a little further and he suddenly moaned. “Fuck…” he said as the burning started to run up my spine. I shut my eyes, feeling tears fall from the corners as he pushed in further.

I couldn’t explain how much it hurt. The burning just kept piercing through me. But there wasn’t only pain… There was lust, too. I wanted him to go deeper, harder, faster… And when he was finally all the way in, it was like I was in another world. Sure, there was pain, but the pain was overcome by so much pleasure that I didn’t even really know it was there.

“Fuck, Sauli!” I said, gripping onto the sheets as he rocked in and out of me, throwing his head back in pure ecstasy… 

He pounded harder, hitting my spot plenty of times before I actually felt myself getting to that point. He rocked in and out, moving swiftly inside of me, before I yelled, “Sauli, oh fuck! I’m going to-“

Suddenly a white substance covered Sauli’s chest. Right after that, he yelled loud, shuddering, and gasping. He slowly pulled out of me, falling on his back. We both breathed heavily. I sat up, feeling a burst of fire run up my back, but I ignored it, crawling over to Sauli and lying next to him.

“Fuck, baby…” I said, kissing his temple. “That… was freaking amazing! Where did you learn to get so good?”

He giggled, looking at me. “Was… Was I that good?” and he blushed a little, licking his lips.

“Yes!” I said, wrapping my arms around his waist. He blushed again, reaching down and peeling the condom off, throwing it to the side. “God, I love you so much…”

“I love you too, Mestari… More than you know…” he leaned over, kissing my lightly. I kissed back, holding him tightly in my arms.

Everything was back how it was supposed to be.


	19. Bubble Love

Sauli:

“Hi, baby…” I mumbled, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. I yawned, lifting my arms above my head and hearing the soft pop of my spine. I guess I was still a bit sore last night from the sex (even though I topped—first time for anything can make you sore). It was so weird to actually be the one that…well the opposite of bottom. It was nothing like I had ever experienced before and I was grateful that Adam allowed my feeble mind to wander into the depths of situations I never dreams of walking into. Out of all the people in the world, I was most glad I had my first time with him (of course). It was amazing and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the whole world!

Though, when I woke up, I did not get a morning greeting kiss like the one I had expected or a hug or anything. It started to have me thinking that maybe I was still dreaming. Then I remembered that my dream I just had was with Tommy and me. In addition, I hated to admit we were doing some things I wish I had not thought of because I should only be thinking of that stuff with Adam. My mind wandered to an area it never should have and I was ashamed to admit it. My lip was swollen and my head was light from the images conjured up in my head about the blond. I needed to forget about him because I was never going to see him again. As sad as this made me, I knew it was the reality. It didn’t matter though. My life revolved around Adam…And Adam alone.

I blinked, looking at my boyfriend with a smile, but it quickly faded when I saw the serious look plastered on his face. He lifted his hands (and the nails were painted black—super cute!) and he grabbed my face, sighing a little. His hands were soft and gently cupped my face. His breath hit my face and it smelt like cool mint. I shuddered lightly. “Did anything else happen between you and that Tommy other than a kiss, Sauli? Tell me the truth…,” he said and I gasped, my eyes widening. I didn’t know where this was coming from! I thought we had cleared it up! And now he was asking me about it? What got into him? Did he not trust me? Was I a terrible boyfriend?!

“W-What? No, Adam! I promise! Did I do something to falter your belief in my trust? I’m sorry…” I said and he sighed heavier this time, releasing my face and standing up, pacing back and forth in frustration. I watched him like a hawk, trying to decipher his motives…

 “Well, yeah, Sauli…I woke up and you were moaning his name…And it was a dirty dream! You were thinking about him the morning after we had sex!” he exclaimed, trying to keep his voice down. He stopped walking, frowning and looking at me with sad eyes. I shook my head, having no recollection to what he just told me. Though, I knew I was a sleep talker and right now, it got me in trouble! That stupid dream I was ashamed of!

“M-Moaning it? No…I…the dream, I promise it was…” I wasn’t sure what to say! IT was a dirty dream. Moreover, it wasn’t about Adam, even though we had had sex the night before. I felt terrible…This is my entire fault and I should feel ashamed! Stupid, I was stupid!

“Sauli, I just don’t want there to be any competition! You’re mine!” he said, looking me straight in the eye and I felt tears accumulate and I wanted so badly to tell him that I didn’t have that dream, but I couldn’t deny it. I couldn’t deny I had a dirty dream about someone else after the night we had sex…

“I-I’m so sorry…P-Please forgive me…” I whispered and he sighed again, shaking his head as I looked up at him through my teary eyes. His lip stuck out in a pout and his face softened a little, but I could tell he was still frustrated. Adam always wore his emotions on his sleeve, even if he didn’t want to. My poor baby…

“No, it’s my fault, I overreacted. I mean, when I was your age, I had like, three boyfriends…It’s the age for experimentations, and I shouldn’t hold it against you,” he said, smiling at me, but I did not smile back. When he was my age? That was…ten years ago! Oh my god! I’m so young! I had never realized how young I really was until now! When Adam was in fifth grade, I was just born! I’m a baby! This is terrible!

“When you were my age…? That’s it! I’m too young for you!” I said, frowning even deeper and his eyes widened and he held up his hands, shaking his head.

“What?! No! That’s a fucking turn on!” he claimed and I gulped, looking at him, tilting my head to the side.

“You’re just saying that…Adam, when I was ten, you were twenty…I’m still a teenager and you’re almost thirty…” I told him and he laughed. I looked back up and he took a step closer to me, a mysterious look in his eye. It was a twinkle and I couldn’t figure out what it was.

“So? I fucking love that you’re only nineteen…I like my love’s being young…” he growled, taking another step closer. My lips twitched a little into a smile and I scooted off the bed slightly, closing the gap between us.

“And I like my love’s being older…I love that you’re twenty-nine,” I said, jumping up from the bed and tackling him to the ground. We fell with a thud and he laughed, rolling over and pinning my wrists above my head. I squirmed, whining that he defeated me. Our age didn’t matter…and we can get over the tiniest things so easily! We really were in love…

“I’m older, Sunshine. Therefore, I’m stronger,” he purred and I glared at him, rolling my eyes. I pushed my hands together, yanking them out of Adam’s grasp and sitting up, pinning him to the ground. His eyes widened and he seemed surprised.

“Being younger means I’m cleverer!” I claimed and he laughed, this time it was his turn to roll his eyes.

“We’re playing that game, hm? I’m gonna win…” he said, propping himself on his elbows and sitting up, kissing me hard on the lips. His tongue traced on my lips and I opened, sucking then quickly pulling back. I made a soft popping noise with my mouth, purring.

“No! Since you’re older, you’ll get tired quicker!” I said and he laughed.

“I’m not THAT old, honey,” he said, falling back and hitting the bedside table with his arm. It shook and two rubber ducks fell on his chest. I giggled, grabbing Cookie and Milk. I handed Cookie to Adam and he took it, smiling. I remembered these ducks when Adam brought them out the day I came here. He was so cute back then and he is even cuter now that I have to know him. I love him so much.

“Can we take a bath together, Adam?” I asked and he made a face of approval, sitting up and lifting me off him. He grabbed my hand, leading us to the bathroom. He turned on the faucet, reaching over and grabbing pink bubbles, pouring the substance into the rushing water. I swiftly took off my shirt, walking over to Adam and spinning him around. He looked at me oddly and I ripped open his button up shirt, tearing it off him and tackling him into the water. He gasped and we both went under the liquid making a large splash, practically making everything wet. He let out a laugh and hugged me close to him, turning off the water when it reached the top. The water was warm and I buried my face into Adam’s chest, breathing softly. I ran my hands up and down his chest and he tightly wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning his head back on the side of the tub. I shut my eyes, smiling and loving the feelings of just resting with my lover. It was peaceful and I could not be any more content.

“Do you really love me, Adam?” I suddenly blurted out, probably ruining the moment, but I needed to know. Everything just seemed too perfect. He won me back from the auction, we had sex, had a slight argument, got over that, and then we ended up in the most relaxing environment ever. Just the two of us together. This didn’t seem right. At all. I mean, I loved it, but a lowly slave like me didn’t seem to deserve all this…And it all happened so fast. It almost seemed like a movie in a way.

He laughed that gorgeous laugh and kissed the top of my head, “Of course I do. Why would you even ask?” he said and I looked up at him with big eyes, feeling like I could cry. Honestly, I wasn’t sure where all this emotion came from, but I just felt the need to keep asking Adam until I fully believed him or was satisfied with the answer. It just all of a sudden happened as everything was circulating in my head.

“I’ve done so much to you…And I’m so difficult…and you’re so perfect…and I kissed someone else…and…and…All you’ve ever been is good to me…” I muttered, lowering my gaze and wiping my eye as a tear fell. Adam’s eyes widened and he sat up, grabbing my face.

“You’re wonderful, Sauli! What’s gotten into you?” he asked and I shrugged, shaking my head. I felt worthless right now…

“I-I’m a bad boyfriend…I-I don’t know h-how to be a good boyfriend! I am really bad at this! You deserve a prince and I’m just the servant!” I exclaimed and I saw the confusion in Adam’s face, but I could not explain it either.

“W-What? What’s wrong with you?! I love you! Don’t cry! Um…” he quickly reached over, grabbing Cookie and Milk and shoving Milk in my hand, smiling wide. “Will you play with me please?” he asked and I blinked, sniffling and wiping my eyes. A small smile made its way to my lips and I nodded, placing Milk in the water, next to Cookie. Adam always knew what to say.

“C-Can we please play Cookie and Milk falling in love?” I asked and he nodded, smiling and lifting me up, placing me in his lap. I sat back, making Milk swim around. He grinned, starting the story.

“One day, Cookie was in the park thinking about how much he loved Milk. And how we wanted to be with him forever…” he said and I giggled, having Milk swimming around.

“And Milk was at their home, waiting for Cookie to call. Cookie had gone out to the studio because he was the best singer in the world and he got a record deal!” I said and Adam laughed out loud, kissing my cheek and leaning his head on my shoulder, a smile on his face.

“Cookie called Milk, telling him to meet him in the park. He had something very important to tell him…,” he whispered.

I smiled, “So Milk rushed into the car and drove to the park in his very best outfit, seeing Cookie waiting for him…” I said, making Milk swim up to Cookie and having them touch. Adam giggled, running his fingers through my hair.

“And Cookie ran up to Milk and said how much he loved him!” and Adam made Cookie swim up to Milk and their bills touched. And he leaned in, softly whispering in my ear, “I love you…” I smiled, turning around and hugging his neck, and kissing him on the lips.

I truly did love him more than the entire world…


	20. The Hurt Of Jealousy

Adam:

I kissed Sauli’s temple before pulling him off me and stepping out of the tub. I heard him whine a little as he followed my movements, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist, just as I had done. I turned around, cupping his face in my hands and planting a quick, soft kiss on his lips before pulling away and smiling. He smiled back, walking out of the bathroom and sitting down on my bed. The bath was really relaxing, but now I wanted to do something fun. I wanted to take Sauli out.

Not that I couldn’t really help the fact that my dad still thinks Sauli is gone so we would have to sneak out if we wanted to go out. It depended on whether or not my dad decided to make an unexpected (and frankly unwelcome) visit.

I sighed a little, walking over to the closet. “Baby, I have this outfit I’ve wanted you to try on… And maybe, if you like it, you can wear it out tonight…” I grabbed a bag that was sitting on the floor next to my favorite pair of leopard print boots. I smiled to myself. I haven’t worn those in a while… “I thought maybe we could go to a club tonight or something…”

Sauli giggled and jumped up, his towel almost falling from his waist. Not that I would have minded that… “What’s a club, Adam?” he sauntered over to me, wrapping his arms around my neck and looking up at me. I smiled down at him, pressing my lips to his briefly before pulling away and leaning my forehead against his.

“It’s a place where you get to dress crazy and go crazy,” I said, kissing him again. He moaned, and I took that as an opportunity to break the seam of his lips with my tongue. My hands wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to me as our tongues fought for dominance. I, as always, ended up winning. When I pulled away he giggled, licking his lips. I smirked at him, pushing the bag of clothes into his hands. “Go put this on,” I said, watching him walk off to the bathroom.

I smiled to myself, walking over to the mirror and glancing at my reflection. My hair didn’t really need to be dried. We hadn’t gone under water, so it was only wet in a few places from splashing. That would air dry in no time, so I decided to let my hair stay as is. The messy look was always sexy. Well, at least it was to me. And it probably was to Sauli, too. He seemed to love messing up my hair whenever we made out, so there was no point in doing it if we were going to end up making out again tonight.

Dropping my towel to the floor, I went back over to my closet, pulling out the tightest pair of skinny jeans that I owned. They were charcoal with a bit of a burnt out knee. I stepped into them, attempting to pull them up, but it took a bit of time. I eventually got them on, though, and when I looked in the mirror, my bulge was sticking out more than I expected. I wasn’t going to complain though. We were going to a night club, and this is how you were supposed to look. Like a whore.

Next, I pulled out a gray t-shirt that had a deep v-neck. I pulled it over my head, straightening myself out before looking in the mirror again. I smirked at my reflection, picking up pencil eyeliner and smudging some on. I decided to go a bit overboard, darkening the line a lot more than I usually do. I preferred looking sexy when I went to a club. It’s what usually got people’s attention.

I was just about to grab my leopard print boots when I heard the bathroom door open. I glanced over at the bathroom, seeing a small figure standing in the doorway. My eyes widened and I suppressed a small moan as the boy started walking over to me.

He had on a pair of bleached-white skinny jeans, about as tight as mine, if not, tighter, and a navy-blue tank top. Over the tank top was a long sleeve fishnet shirt, spicing up the outfit a little bit. On his feet were black boots that went up to only his ankles, but tied the whole outfit together. His hair was messy, but messy in a sexy way, just like mine. He blushed when he saw my face, and I suddenly felt my pants get even tighter (how is that even possible?!). I groaned, blushing back a little back at him. 

“Do… Do you not like it?” He asked me, looking down and knowing fairly well what this was doing to me. I closed the distance between us, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing my lips to his harshly. He let out a moan, his hands making their way to my hair (I told you!). He tugged hard on it, causing me to moan into his mouth. Our tongues battled, and I kept the war going as I reached down, squeezing his ass. He gasped, and I took that chance to grab his tongue between my teeth before letting it go quickly. When I pulled away, he looked at me with wide eyes, but not in a bad way.

“I couldn’t love that outfit any more if I tried,” I said, pecking his lips lightly before grabbing my boots and sitting on the bed, strapping them on. “But there is one more thing we have to do to you before we leave.” I smirked at him, grabbing the eyeliner and walking back over to him. He had gotten used to me putting eyeliner on him every once in a while, so he knew what to do now. He looked up, and I applied some eyeliner to his eyes. Not nearly as much as mine, but, considering he didn’t wear it on a daily basis, it was a big change. He smiled at me when I was done, glancing in the mirror and gasping and turning back to me, hugging me tightly.

“Thank you, Mestari!” He said, pecking my lips quickly. I smiled at him, grabbing the keys to my car. We walked over to my door, and I looked around before opening it completely and letting Sauli out. I didn’t want my dad seeing us. Then he would figure out what I did, and he would probably send Sauli away again and lock me up in my room for a long time so I couldn’t find him. Ugh.

We made it out the door and to my car. The drive wasn’t long, but by the time we got there it was pretty late. But that was the point of a night club. To be there late at night. Hence the word _night_ club.

We got out of the car and walked up to the door. The bouncer stopped me before we walked in and I sighed, knowing what was going to happen. This has happened before, and it’s not a big deal, but it does get annoying at times. “Name, please,” the big man said, looking down at the list in his hands.

“We’re not on the list, sir, but I’m sure you can make an… exception, for me…” I said, winking at him and running my finger down his chest. I was a pretty good flirter; I had to say, so I could probably get us in here quickly. I leaned up to his ear, whispering, “I can pay you back later…” I smirked as I felt him shiver a little. He grabbed the rope, pulling it aside. I smiled at him, grabbing Sauli’s hand again as I pulled him inside.

As we entered, I looked around. The DJ was blasting an unfamiliar tune, but it didn’t matter. By the time we’re both drunk, nothing will matter but grinding all over each other. People were dancing, mostly boys, since this was a gay bar, but a few girls were scattered here and there. Sauli followed me over to the bar. I ordered two tequila shots, handing one to Sauli. He looked at me before sniffing it. He cringed away. “Just down it,” I yelled over the music. “It’ll taste better once you’ve had a few.” I took the shot glass, pressing it to my lips and throwing my head back. The taste lingered in my mouth and, even though it didn’t taste all that fantastic, it sent a surge of electricity run through me. I watched Sauli do the same, and he made a disgusted face before putting the glass on the counter.

“That tastes gross! I want another one!” He yelled over the music. A giant smirk made its way onto my face, and I asked the bar tender for two more shots. He smiled, returning with two more for Sauli and I. We both downed them, asking again for more. After we both had about five shots, Sauli was close to being drunk. He wasn’t use to this, so his body was a little weaker than mine. For me, things were blurry, but I still had a good idea as to what was going on.

I stood from my chair, grabbing Sauli’s hand and pulling him to the dance floor. Sauli looked confused, and I leaned down, whispering to him, “Just let your body move to the beat… Let it do what it wants…” I pulled him close to me, grinding against his body.

“Do we get wild?” Sauli said to me, his lips pulling into a slight smirk. I smirked back, wanting nothing more than to kiss him.

“We get as wild as you want,” I said, leaning over and placing my lips on his. He moaned but then quickly pulled away.

“Okay! Wild Sauli!” he said, turning and grabbing a cute boy by the back of the neck, forcing his lips upon his. I gasped as Sauli wound his hands into the guy’s hair, kissing him harshly. I didn’t know what to do. I walked over to them, grabbing Sauli by his shirt and pulling him away from the guy’s lips. He looked up at me with confused eyes. “What? Did I do something wrong?”

I felt the rage boil up inside of me. I wanted to yell at Sauli so badly, but I knew it wasn’t his fault. He just didn’t completely understand what I meant when I said we could get as wild as he wanted to. I turned towards the guy who had swapped spit with Sauli, and he rolled his eyes before looking at me. My fists clenched at my sides.

“Adam! I’m sorry! Let’s just go back to the bar!” Sauli’s voice was drowned out when the guy crossed his arms and gave me a look that said, ‘I’m waiting’.

“You… Stay the fuck away from him!” I shouted, ready to knock this fucker out, but I knew better. Bar fights were never good things to get yourself into.

“Well, you’re little boy toy did come on to me…” The boy said. I couldn’t deny that he was good looking, but still… He just made out with my boyfriend.

The words “boy toy” made me get even more angered than before. I didn’t want to get into a fight though. Sauli tugged on my shirt, and I growled under my breath as he pulled me away to the bar. He ordered me a shot and I downed it quickly as he downed his. I was still angered about the whole situation, but at least Sauli knew he had done something wrong. It wouldn’t happen again. I smiled at Sauli to hide the anger before telling him I was going to the bathroom. I didn’t really have to pee; I just wanted to cool down for a second. Why was I such a jealous person? I stepped into the bathroom, glancing at myself in the mirror. I heard moaning coming from one of the stalls and I gagged a little. Get a room! That’s just gross. That, right there, is why I refused to pee in bar’s bathrooms.

After about two minutes of fixing myself up, I walked out of the bathroom, feeling better than before. I just needed to cool down. Now I could just have a good time with my baby-

My heart stopped and I felt the anger come back again when I looked over at Sauli. He was giggling, looking at the guy… When did he get here? Wasn’t he on the dance floor? AND WHY WAS HE FLIRTING WITH MY BOYFRIEND? I thought I told him to stay away!

As if my feet had a mind of their own, I walked over to the bar where Sauli and the guy were. I shoved the guy a little, staring at him. “Are you trying to start a fucking fight?!” I couldn’t control what I was doing anymore. The anger had taken over my whole body.

“No, but last time I checked, you’re Finn came on to me! How much do you want for your little boy toy?” He said, smirking at me. I growled, about to punch him in the face when Sauli grabbed my arm, holding it back as if he knew what I was going to do.

“FUCK YOU!” I said, letting Sauli pull me out of the bar. There was so much anger inside of me right now, I felt like it was never going to go away.

“It was a bad idea coming here…” Sauli said as we got outside. I stopped walking towards the car and looked at him.

“YOU THINK?! FOR PETE’S SAKE, SAULI! YOU COULDN’T JUST KEEP YOU’RE HANDS OFF OF HIM?” I was yelling now, and I didn’t feel bad. Mostly because it was the alcohol and anger speaking, not me. I would never yell at Sauli like this…

“PETE? WHO IS PETE AND WHY ARE YOU BRINGING HIM INTO THIS? ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME, ADAM?!” He yelled back. I forgot that he didn’t really understand English expressions. He was Finnish. “Älä kerro minulle, mitä tehdä! Minulla olihauskaa!”

He had started yelling in Finnish, and I didn’t know what to do. He had never actually yelled at me like this before. “GET IN THE CAR. WE’RE GOING HOME.” I said, walking to the car and unlocking it. He crossed his arms.

“I DON’T WANT TO!” he said, looking at me like a stubborn child. Why was he so selfish?

“GET IN THE CAR NOW, SAULI!” I said. He listened to me, climbing in the passenger seat and crossing his arms, staring out the window as I drove. There wasn’t much talking. Actually, scratch that, there wasn’t any talking. We had had one of our biggest fights yet because of a stupid guy at a bar.

When we got home, he got out of the car, rushing inside. I followed him, watching as he stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door. “If you plan on sleeping in there, fine! I’ll take the bed all to myself!” I yelled, plopping down on the bed. I didn’t bother taking anything off. I just laid there, staring at the ceiling before the alcohol started to take its toll on me. I started to feel tired, and I closed my eyes, falling asleep with anger still boiling inside of me.

Fuck Love.


	21. Couldn't Get Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots going on...

Sauli:

I woke up, groaning and rolling over, noticing I was on the ground on a blue, plush rug. I glanced to the side and saw the black, marble counter located inside the bathroom and I raised an eyebrow, curious as to WHY I was sleeping in the bathroom until the realization hit me like a pile of bricks. Adam and I fought after going to that club because I was talking to another boy and apparently flirting with him. The sudden guilt flooded me like a river and I felt so bad. I never intended any of this to happen because I still was not entirely sure what flirting WAS, but I did something to upset my Mestari…And I regret that now even though I don’t regret much. In fact, mistakes shape you out to be the person you want to be, so I just got another carving. Note to self: Do not talk to other boys without Adam’s permission.

With a shaky sigh, I sat up, stretching my arms up and hearing the soft pops of my spine. I yawned, groaning a little and standing up, walking over to the sink and washing all the sweat, glitter, and make-up from my face. Also, washing my mouth out because I did not want that man’s taste in there. I wanted all of last night remnants to disappear because I wasn’t proud of any of it. As I was cleaning my skin, I glanced at the door, knowing I would have to go out and apologize to him. It was my entire fault.

I turned the faucet off, straightening up and slowly walking to the door, grasping the handle, biting my bottom lip. The nerves struck me like lightening and I felt nauseated. Ugh. Here we go…Maybe if we make up, I'll be able to wander the house and look for Rakastan. I haven't seen him since I got home... I hope Adam took care of him...

I unlocked the knob, turning the handle and walking out. Looking up, I saw Adam with a notepad and pencil on his bed, scribbling something down furiously. He was in a pair of gray sweatpants and a simple black tee. His hair was a mess and it looked like he hadn’t washed up from last night. When he heard me step out, he looked up, his eyes narrowing slightly and I gulped, looking down and messing with the hem of my shirt. He was so mad at me; this is terrible.

I heard the soft creek of his bed and soft footsteps patter towards me. “Sauli, we should talk…Okay?” he asked and I shook my head, bending over and bowing to him, feeling like a total loser.

“N-No, there’s nothing to talk about. I apologize. I am so sorry, I was wrong,” I exclaimed, shaking lightly from the amount of guilt I was feeling. If I were not so stupid, then we wouldn’t have had a fight in the first place! Instead, I had to go kiss a boy because I didn’t understand what was happening!

He sighed, grabbing me and making me look at him. “This isn’t your fault. And don’t bow…I’m not your master, baby…We both know that,” he replied softly with a smile, but I did not return it because I had no privilege to smile right now.

“N-No, I’m a b-bad boyfriend…And I’m not even a good slave anymore either…I kissed another boy even though you told me not to. I disobeyed you and I don’t deserve your pity…” I mumbled, staring at the ground, almost burning a hole through it. I felt a pair of soft hands grab my face and make me look at Adam. He had a serious look in his eyes. One he only gets when this is no laughing matter on a specific situation.

“Never, you could never be a bad boyfriend. I love you, okay? I’m sorry I yelled at you, I really shouldn’t have. Let’s just put this behind us, okay?” he said and I smiled a little, nodding and hugging him tightly. He hugged me back, humming a melody I had never heard from him before. It sounded beautiful! Though, my main focus was on the fact that he forgave me and we could just keep going on loving each other again! That was the most important thing to me right now.

“I have something to show you, okay?” he said and I nodded, smiling up at him. He smiled back, grabbing my hand and leading me to the bed. He told me to close my eyes; I did just that, hearing some shuffling of paper, and he grabbed me, placing me on his lap and nuzzling into my neck. I giggled, still having my eyes closed and I relaxed under his touch. I heard him clear his throat lightly and his humming got louder as it slowly formed into words.

“Cold as ice, and more bitter than a December, winter night…That’s how I treated you…” These soft words entered my ear with a soft tickle and I opened my eyes slowly, realizing what was happening.  My heart picked up its pace from his enchanting voice, not even comprehending that he was human because his voice was so impeachable, “And I know that I…I sometimes tend to lose my temper, and I cross the line yeah, that’s the truth….” I felt like I was going to explode as he kept singing and the lyrics pierced me like electric shocks. His voice was right by my ear and his soft singing was just amazing…With each word came even greater meaning.

“All along, I tried to pretend it didn’t matter if I was alone, but deep down I know. If you were gone, for even a day, I wouldn’t know which way to turn, 'cause I’m lost without you…” His hands came around, squeezing my hand and he nuzzled into my neck, taking a small breath and continuing his hypnotizing trance. “I know it gets hard sometimes, but I could never, leave your side, no matter what I say. ‘Cause if I wanted to go, I woulda gone by now, but I really need you near me to, keep my mind off the edge. If I wanted to leave, I woulda left by now, but you’re the only one that knows me, better than I know myself…” I gasped lightly, wanting to start sobbing because it was so beautiful. He kept singing the chorus a little and then eventually slowly faded out with a perfect vibrato note. It was silent for a little while until I slipped off his lap so I could look him straight in the eye. I could feel the tear accumulate in my eyes, but I didn’t mind.

“D-Did you write that…?” I asked, shocked that something so beautiful could be written for me and sung by a fallen angel.

He smiled lightly, cupping my face, “I couldn’t sleep last night because of our fight…and I just got to thinking. I do have a temper, and I know I am very possessive and jealous, but I just want you to know that without you, I wouldn’t know what to do with my life. I love you…”

I gulped, grabbing his face and kissing him hard, wrapping my arms around his neck. He fell back onto the pillows, wrapping his arms around my waist and I pulled back, looking at him with teary eyes. “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. I love you so much,” I said and he laughed, petting my head. He looked at me in the eyes and I looked at him back, smiling and feeling the utmost of love in the world right now. My heart might burst. This moment was perfect.

“Sauli…Will you marry me?” he asked and I felt a surge go inside me then erupt in my tummy; that was so sudden, he really didn’t just ask me that, right? I knew exactly what he was talking about. My mother and father had gotten married and I loved hearing their wedding day stories and I wanted one all to myself. One with the man I love whom I could spend the rest of my life with. Nevertheless, as a slave, I am unable to get married. It is forbidden and no one could marry us off anyway. I just cannot tell Adam that. I need to play dumb so he thinks that we can become husbands. Think fast Sauli!

So I smiled at him, shrugging, “If you would like to Adam!” His eyes widened and he lifted his eyebrows up in curiosity.

“What? No…you have to agree. We’ll do it if YOU want to, sweetie,” he said and looked like I just popped his whole bubble. I can only imagine how he would feel if I told him I am unable to get married…that it’s against the law. I can’t…

“What? I don’t understand, I am sorry…” I said and he smiled sadly, going into detail about everything marriage and I knew it all! But I needed to act as if I didn’t so we could just go along with it without Adam having his world shattered.  My heart began to beat faster each time he said “commitment,” “love,” “forever,” “together” all those words because I wanted all of it with him. Moreover, we could possibly have it…as boyfriends…

“I would want all of that,” I mumbled, kissing him lightly on the lips. He moaned, rolling us over. I grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer, and he smiled, pulling back so our lips were only a couple centimeters apart.

“We’ll get a ring tomorrow,” he said, my eyes widened, and I shook my head. No way was he spending more money on me…

“No, no ring…Just you,” I said and he laughed. “Just love. It’s all we need,” I said and he nodded, rubbing my cheek.

“I can’t wait to be your husband. And for you to be my Sauli Lambert,” he said and I could almost cry. How could I live with myself knowing that Adam was thinking we could go on like this when obviously we couldn’t? I knew it was illegal, but he had no idea. Why am I lying to him like this? Honesty is the most important thing for us. Just tell him, Sauli….

“Adam…I…Marriage is forbidden between a slave and master. Everyone will hate you…it’s basically against the law…” I mumbled, looking up at him. He stopped holding that adorable and happy expression and it fell dramatically. His eyebrows furrowed together and a soft frown made its way to his lips.

“What? How do you know? I thought you didn’t know what marriage was…How do you know it’s illegal?” he snipped softly, looking at me with betrayal in his eyes. My own eyes widened and I shook my head.

“W-What? NO! Adam! It’s just I don’t want you throwing your life away for me, that’s all! I do love you, but we can’t get married at this time…But we have everything a married couple already has…we don’t need to get married,” I said softly, but that only seemed to make him break even more. His mouth opened a little in disbelief.

“What…? Sauli, didn’t you hear that song I sung for you?! I put my heart and soul into that! I love you and want to be with you forever. Why would you lie to me now?! If you didn’t want to marry me, you really could have just said no!” he exclaimed and I sat up as he got off of me, pacing back and forth in frustration in front of the bed, seething.

I tried to make him feel better, by telling him the negatives of marrying me, “B-But your father and mother will be furious! And no one will talk to you because you married a lowly slave. It’s just…” though, it didn’t seem to work at all.

“I DON’T CARE! All I care about is being you with, and you being honest with me…I don’t understand why you would lie to me on such an important topic…,” he mumbled, heartbroken. He stopped pacing and looked me in the eye. I felt ashamed and stared at the ground, feeling like I might throw up.

“We can’t get married, Adam! It’s just not…I don’t know, I’m so sorry, I love you though…” I said and he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“You might as well have said no…That’s how it feels to me right now Sauli…” he said and I felt like he just ripped my heart out of my chest, god damnitt. I grabbed his shirt so he couldn’t walk away anymore and I looked at him.

“Please, I love you. Don’t leave me…” I got up, hugging him tight, but he did not return it. “We fight so much…too much…” I mumbled into his chest and I heard him sigh and start to say something that never should have been uttered.

“I know…maybe…Maybe we should take a break…” he said, and my eyes widened and I slowly pulled back looking at him with shocked eyes. He did not just say that, did he? After singing me that song…and asking me to marry him, me lying to him made him want to take a break? I know that honesty is the most important thing to Adam and I totally ruined it all with a diluted lie.

“A break…? I…I don’t understand…” I murmured and Adam looked to the side. He looked pained.

“Well…We’ve been together for over three months, and we’re getting onto each other’s nerves…We should just…Do this break and think things out, okay? I knew marriage was too soon...” he said and something inside me snapped and I wasn’t sure, but it all came rushing into me. I knew why I never had an intimate relationship with a master before: it always ends badly. Niko abused the crap out of me and now Adam’s going to go on a “break” then probably end up abandoning me. I was so stupid. I should just start calling him master again. It is all I am good for. Now I suck at it.

I nodded, bowing a little for him, “Of course, master. Your wishes are my command,” I said, not looking at him. “You are correct. Things were much easier when I was your servant and you remained the master,” I told him and his eyes widened and he shook his head.

“Just because we aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean you’re my slave again…” he said, and I shook my head, staring at the ground. “Please don’t…You know I still love you…” I shook my head, shrugging.

“Masters and servants should remain as such…” I mumbled and Adam sighed angrily.

“You’re being ridiculous! Stop it, Sauli!” he yelled and I just shrugged again, glaring lightly at him as if saying ‘you know it’s true’ and he snapped. “Oh my god! YOU ARE SO STUBBORN. JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO BE A BRAT ABOUT IT!” he yelled, my eyes widened, and I looked at him in shock. He panted, glaring at me hard and I knew I shouldn’t yell back because that will complicate everything. However, we are not a couple anymore…and apparently, I’m not his slave either….so I’m nothing to him.

“I GET WHATEVER I WANT? It’s funny because I’ve been abused for nine years of my life, but apparently, I’m a BRAT, when I don’t get something I want?! YOU’RE THE BRAT. OH BOO WHO, I NEVER HAD ANY FRIENDS. YOUR LIFE IS A LOT BETTER THEN MINE, STUPID!” I yelled back and he growled, taking a step closer to me, but I held my ground. He’s an asshole!

“BETTER? I GREW UP ALL ALONE FUCKED UP BY MY PARENTS. AND WHEN YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE, I THOUGHT YOU COULD CHANGE IT. BUT INSTEAD, YOU FUCKED ME UP EVEN MORE. I WAS SO WRONG ABOUT YOU!” he screamed, and I scoffed.

“STOP SELF-LOATHING, YOU ASSHOLE. GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR FUCKING LIFE THEN INSTEAD OF BEING AN IDIOT AND STAYING HERE, CRYING OVER YOUR PAST!” I screamed and he seemed taken aback by that, but he retaliated with fury.

“YOU’RE A USELESS KID WHO’S A WHORE, YOU KNOW THAT? YOU CHEAT ON YOUR BOYFRIEND WHO WAS THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE. YOU’RE AN IMMATURE BRAT. HOW DID I EVER SEE ANYTHING ATTRACTIVE ABOUT YOU?”

“WELL YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE GIVEN ME A CHANCE IF I KNEW THIS IS WHO YOU REALLY WERE. HOW COULD I EVER HAVE LOVED SOMEONE AS MEAN AS YOU?” I yelled and my mind was telling me this was all right, but my heart felt like it might burst from anger and sadness.

“WE’RE OVER!” he yelled, walking past me, shoving my shoulder and  going towards the bed, grabbing the piece of paper with the song written on it, tearing it right in half. “FUCK LOVE. FUCK YOU!” he exclaimed.

All I could see was red and I reached onto the bedsides table, grabbed a condom (we are sexual creatures…), and threw it straight at his head, screaming “WELL GO FUCK YOURSELF. CAUSE YOU AREN’T GETTING ANYTHING FROM ME, YOU BASTARD!”

He growled, his eyes flaming and he said, “YOU SUCKED AT IT ANYWAY. YOU FUCK LIKE A PUSSY! I COULD NEVER HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE LIKE YOU,” he shouted, turning around and walking out of the bedroom, slamming the door so loud that the painting next to it fell with a loud crack. I panted, looking out the door, my eyes wide and the adrenaline slowly wearing off and feeling dizzy. I looked at the ground at the piece of paper he ripped and I stumbled, falling right on my ass, staring at the wall. I felt tears spring into my eyes and cascade down my cheeks.

What did I just do?


	22. Cuts Like A Knife

Adam:

I shoved the carrots and apples that were on the counter into the juicer, watching the juice squeeze out into the cup. I smiled a little, content with this. I loved my juicer. I recently bought it when I saw an ad for it on TV. It seemed interesting, and it was not a problem buying it. The only problem was that juicing made you have to pee a lot. Like, all the time. You get used to it though, and it isn't that big of a deal.

I was about to shove my pomegranate into the juicer when I heard a door open. I looked up, seeing Sauli watching the ground as he walked. My right eyebrow rose, and his head came up. When his eyes met mine, he suddenly stopped, then turned back around and ran into the guest room again.

That’s where he’s been staying since our fight.

It has been about a week since the dreaded night, and I have almost completely convinced myself that I actually hate Sauli. I do, I swear I do. But there is still a part of me that doesn’t want to believe what we use to have could really have been destroyed so dramatically. Not to mention, fast. It all happened in a blur, and I barely remember the night. All I remember was us yelling at each other and breaking up. And since then, we have not said one word to each other. Now Sauli is staying the guest room. Just great, isn’t it?

I felt anger rush through me. Why was he so stubborn and annoying? It’s not like I am going to kill him if he’s in the same room as me. I shoved the pomegranate into the juicer, watching the purple liquid add to the cup. I then grabbed the cup, filled almost to the top, and took a sip, trying to calm my burning anger. I just couldn’t take him anymore. I should just… sell him. That’s what I should do. My thoughts suddenly stopped. That was the first time I had ever thought about selling Sauli. I shrugged it off, knowing I was only thinking this out of anger. It wasn’t really me speaking right now.

I sat down on the couch with my juice, grabbing the remote and flipping through the TV channels. Nothing really interesting seemed to be on-

Wait. What’s this? Romance? I love romantic movies! I sat back on the couch, watching the people on the screen yell at each other. Something about one person cheating on the other… But not actually meaning it because they were in the moment… Apparently, it was only a kiss… These people are so dramatic.

My mind suddenly stopped again. This is exactly what happened with… I felt my face get hot and I just wanted to scream. Why can’t I just escape thoughts of him for one day?! Just once! Please, God, if you exist, let all this pain end. I just need him gone.

I reached in my pocket, grabbing my phone and pulling it out, not really thinking about what I was doing. I scrolled through the contacts, finding the one I needed… My dad had put the number in my phone in case I had needed it one day. I never thought I would. Things change.

I clicked the call button, holding the phone to my ear and listening as it rang. Once… Twice… Three times… Ah, finally!

“Hello, Slave Trade and Exchange. Are you calling to sell or purchase?” A woman’s voice rang on the other end of the phone. She seemed nice, maybe middle aged. Not too young, not too old, you know?

“Um, well… I have a slave I don’t want any more…He’s Finnish…” I then heard mumbling coming from the other room, and my head snapped up. The guest room door was open just a tiny bit. I couldn’t see into the room from where I was sitting, but I could see that the door was opened and light was shining in through the windows. “Uh, can you hold?” I then placed the phone down, standing from the couch and walking over to the door.

I looked in through the crack in the door, seeing Sauli sitting on his knees with his back against the bed. He was holding Cookie in one hand and Milk in the other.

“You’re just a useless slave! I hate you!” Sauli held Milk in a position where he looked bigger and stronger than Cookie. He made it as if he was yelling at him. I could feel my heart drop a little bit. Is that what I looked when I yelled at Sauli…?

Sauli took the ducks and chucked them across the room, crossing his arms and looking in his lap. “Love is stupid…,” he mumbled, glancing over at the ducks that lay on the floor across the room. He started mumbling something in Finnish and stood up, crawling into the king sized bed with his back facing me and staring at the wall. I sighed, walking away. I wanted to yell so badly, mostly because I needed to do something for the better of myself, but I just couldn’t do it. I was too weak and nice. Why was I so caring for people? I hate that!

Picking the phone back up, I didn’t know what to say. I had kept this woman on hold for no reason, and I felt bad. “Uhh, hi…” Way to sound stupid, Adam. Nice choice of words.

“Hello, I heard you mention a Finnish slave? Those are very rare… Are you planning on selling him?” I could feel my heart pounding. I could just end this all right now and it would be over. Done. Sauli would be out of my life and I could be happy again. But there was a part of me, screaming, telling me not to do it. Telling me that I will regret it and, even though I don’t know it now, I will be even more miserable if I go through with this.

“I-I’ve heard…” I mumbled, holding my phone between my ear and my shoulder, picking at my black nail polish. It was starting to chip, but honestly, that was the last thing on my mind right now. “I’m… I’m thinking about it… I just wanted to let you know…”

I heard the woman sigh slightly, probably because I wasn’t selling my slave. After all, Finnish slaves ARE rare… They’re very unique, I’ll give her that. “Alright, thank you. Call again if you reconsider.” I heard the phone click and the line went silent. I mentally screamed at myself, wanting to just let it all out. But Sauli would hear me, and I know that I would start something that really doesn’t need to be started right now…

My head was pounding, so I sat down on the couch, putting my face in my hands. Why couldn’t I just sell him? Why couldn’t I do it? It would make everything so much better! I would move on and find someone better eventually, right?

But I knew I was wrong. I knew I would never find anyone better than Sauli. I fell in love with him, and I can’t change that. Love is love, and once it’s there, it stays forever. It’s not temporary. But now we hate each other. How did this happen? Oh yea, he cheated on me, I remember…

I felt the anger come flooding back, and I groaned. I suddenly heard someone clear their throat, but I didn’t bother looking up. I knew it was him. There wasn’t really anyone else around. My dad was at some meeting and my mom was out shopping. At least they’re happy…

“A-Adam?” Whoa. That was the first time he has actually said something to me in about a week. To be honest, I actually kind of missed hearing him say my name… Stop it, Adam! He’s bad for you! He will just keep hurting you! He will keep using the excuse that he doesn’t understand because he’s Finnish, and you will keep falling for it! Stop! The voice in my heard started to irritate me, and I snapped.

“What?!” I lifted my head from my hands, half-glaring at him. I saw him flinch and my eyes narrowed, staring him down. He leaned over, shaking a little and placing a familiar necklace down on the coffee table in front of me. I looked down at it, seeing the small sun shaped necklace to represent him. Because he was the sunshine of my days. Now he’s just the darkness that makes me more and more angry. What happened?

I stared down at the necklace, transferring it all. I knew this was right and that this is what he should be doing, but the other half of me told me it was wrong. That we were meant to be together and that I should just apologize. But I couldn't.

“S-Sorry…” he mumbled, quickly running back to his own room. I sighed, staring down at the sterling silver for about thirty seconds. Then I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to yell.

“I FUCKING HATE YOU!” I yelled, placing my face back in my hands. I didn’t know what to do anymore. I couldn’t take this anger that has just been building up and up every day.

I heard a mumbled “I hate you too…” come from the other room, and I stood, not even thinking, and just walked over to the guest room, ripping the door open.

“What did you just say?!” I said a bit louder than necessary staring him down. This wasn’t how I pictured the first time we would have a conversation again…

“I. HATE. YOU.” He said, glaring at me and crossing his arms like a diva. Ugh. Fucking drama queen… You shouldn’t be talking, Adam…

“WELL… I HATE YOU MORE. YOU’RE USELESS. SO USELESS THAT I WAS GOING TO SELL YOU BEFORE!” I yelled. I didn’t even know what I was saying; I was just saying something, anything, to defend myself.

“THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU?! WHAT’S STOPPING YOU?! YOU SAID IT YOURSELF. I’M JUST A USELESS SLAVE TO YOU.” We were both starting to get loud, and I was suddenly glad that my parents weren’t home visiting.

“WELL WHY WERE YOU PLAYING WITH THE STUPID DUCKS BEFORE IF YOU HATE ME SO MUCH, HUH?” I glared more at him, taking a step closer. We were still a safe distance apart, though.

Sauli’s eyes widened. “WHY WERE YOU WATCHING ME?!”

“I… I DON’T KNOW. BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT!” The truth is, I just didn’t know what to say. That comment had backfired big time.

“THAT IS THE POINT, ADAM! IF YOU HATE ME AS MUCH AS YOU CLAIM, THEN WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT I DO IN MY ROOM?!” he shouted at me, his eyes getting darker and angrier by the second.

“I OWN THIS HOUSE, SAULI. I DON’T WANT YOU FUCKING WITH MY SHIT LIKE YOU DID TO MY HEART.” I didn’t really mean to say that, mostly because I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he hurt me.

“THEN MAYBE I’LL SLEEP OUTSIDE, AND THEN I’LL CATCH A COLD AND HOPEFULLY DIE. THEN YOU CAN BE AS HAPPY AS YOU WANT.” I never knew these comments could ever come out of the once-so-shy Sauli Koskinen.

“OR MAYBE I’LL JUST SELL YOU BACK TO NIKO. YOU WOULD JUST LOVE THAT, WOULDN’T YOU?!”

“IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT I WANT ADAM! JUST GET RID OF ME IF YOU DON’T FUCKING WANT ME ANYMORE!”

“OH, REALLY? SO WHAT DO YOU WANT, SAULI?! JUST TELL ME!” There was hope inside me that he would say he wanted this to end, and everything would go back to normal… But I knew it wouldn’t be that simple. And I knew I wouldn’t be able to forgive him that easily, even if he did present me with the opportunity.

“I… I JUST WANT…” He stuttered, looking around for something to say.

“Ugh, I’m so fucking done with this.” I said, turning and pushing through the door, slamming it behind me. I made my way to my room, slamming my door as hard as I could. I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I grabbed my phone from my pocket again, hitting redial…

“Hello, Slave Trade and Ex-“ she started to say, but I cut her off. I needed to get this over with before I changed my mind again.

“I’m calling back about selling my Finnish slave,” I said into the phone. I could hear the venom in my voice. I didn’t even sound like me anymore. I was a monster now. A terrible person.

“Okay, well we are going to need to look him over before we can accept him. Would you like to set up a time for us to visit your house?” The woman said, seeming happier now that I had made a moneymaking decision for her.

“Sure… Can you come tomorrow?” I needed him gone now. I couldn’t wait any longer. I gave the woman my address and a time. She would be over at noon tomorrow, and then everything would be over. Finally.

I hung up the phone with the woman, sitting on my bed. It was all going to end soon. I can be happy again. I can be me again.

But for some reason, I didn’t feel even the tiniest bit of relief.


	23. Nothing To It

Sauli:

I woke up to my stomach rumbling, begging me to fill it with some food. Lately, I just stayed in my room, staring out the window with a stoic expression—the last time I had fun couldn’t even cross my mind anymore; the last time I was happy. I was lonely, lost, and everything in between. I just wanted to melt into a pile of nothingness and be left alone, but I had to go out and eat. I would die in here if I did not. Though, dying didn’t sound all that bad anymore with Adam gone and our relationship in a pile of goop. I was terrified of him and he hated me, so I didn’t feel welcome to eat his food or even be in this house. All I ever took from the fridge were fruits because I felt like I would intrude if I took anything more. I really didn’t deserve to be in this house anymore…I haven’t even been able to see Rakastan. I hope Adam has been caring for him...

With a heavy sigh, I opened the door to my bedroom a crack, glancing back and forth for Adam. The coast was clear and I swiftly and quietly stumbled out of my bedroom, practically running to the kitchen like a mouse and ripping open the fridge and reaching in, grabbing a red delicious apple. I felt my stomach talk again and I sighed, reclining my hand, but freezing in mid motion when I heard another door creek open and I felt my heart drop and I refused to breathe. Then I heard the footsteps come closer and finally a hand push me to the side as he entered the fridge. It was harsh and purposeful and I felt the agony of fear emerge and I wanted to whimper, but I knew I couldn’t let Adam know how much I hated and feared him right now…

I glared at Adam, gripping onto my apple that I so desperately wanted to eat, but all I saw was Adam’s big, fat head sifting in the cooling machine. I stepped back and threw the fruit at his head, watching it split a little and seeping a bit of the sticky juice into his thick mane. He froze, gasping lightly and turning his head so his beautifully crystal blue eyes glared at me. His eyebrows were furrowed, making a perfect crease in the middle of his forehead. “Asshole,” he mumbled, returning to the fridge to look for food. I felt the anger boil inside me like a simmering pot and I wanted to hit him! Like throw him off a cliff or something!

“Tyhmä ruma sika ...,” I mumbled back to him, placing both my hands on his side and shoving him out of the way so I could reach in and grab a new apple. However, before my hand could make it into the refrigerator, the door slammed shut, I gasped, standing straight, and turning around, sneering at Adam with venom pulsing through my veins...Everything about him pissed me off! I wanted to leave this place and have his memory diminish!

He smirked, turning around and walking away, but I was so angry, I felt like I might explode! So I grabbed three bananas that were sitting on the counter (probably for Adam’s juicer) and chucked them at his head, hitting straight on and I huffed when he stopped. He was probably going to start yelling because he is such a drama queen! I hate him! All I did was throw some soft fruit at his head. But knowing Adam, he was going to explode saying I threw a boulder at his dumb, big head!

He immediately turned around, storming back to me and shoving me into the wall with his arm so it was pressed hard onto my chest. His face was inches from mine and he let out a hot breath of anger and I felt genuinely scared he was going to hurt me. It would not surprise me at this point…

“Don’t act like a petulant child unless you want me to hurt you, brat,” he growled, his eyes burning with rage, but I retaliated with just as much fury. I may be petrified right now, but I will not let him win! If he did hit me, it would just be like any other master, so at this point, I had nothing to lose…

“Do it…I dare you!” I spat and he pushed me further into the wall, his thick, black eyebrow twitching in frustration. His breathing became heavier and he seemed tensed.

“You really don’t want me to…” he snipped and I shrugged, feeling like I might just burst out and slap him, but I knew I couldn’t and wouldn’t do that…

“You hitting me can’t be any worse than what you’ve already done…” I said and his eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t say anything back. Instead, he kept quiet, breathing—almost panting—against my neck and I felt something coil up inside me that hadn’t been there in almost two weeks and I didn’t want it there right now! I hated Adam and he hated me, so we couldn’t, no matter how much I wanted it right now…But my damn body knows what I want more than I do.

My eyes wandered up to his and they locked and my mouth opened and a soft, involuntary moan slipped out of my mouth and his eyes widened even more and he came a bit closer to my face, his breath hot against my flesh and another moan tumbled out, but this time, I did it voluntarily. I leaned my forehead against his, our lips hovering so close and then…

He grabbed my wrists, pinning them above my head, his lips slammed against mine, and I gasped, jumping up and wrapping my legs around his waist and nibbling on his bottom lip. My legs tightened around his hips and I pulled him closer so our chests were touching. He opened his lips and our tongues battled, but he was furious and won. He let go of my arms so I could tug and fondle with his hair while his hands grabbed my ass so he could hold me up. He groaned loudly, his eyes shut and I played with his hair while the other cupped his face and he growled under his breath, mumbling against my lips.

“I still hate you…This doesn’t change anything,” he said, tugging the hem of my shirt and pulling it off as I raised my arms. His lips trailed down my neck and he bit down hard, causing me to gasp and ball my fist into his hair. He sucked, his teeth scraping against my sensitive skin and I knew a bruise would be there tomorrow. His tongue darted out, and he pushed his hips against mine, causing me to smoosh even more into the wall. I was not expecting a simple little foreplay to change anything, even as much as I wished it to.

“Ah, mitä sanot ...” I told him, helping him as he attempted to get his shirt off. As much as I hated to admit it, I missed this. I missed him kissing me, touching me; I missed his goddamn freckles. I wanted it all back but in a completely different context. Not one where we claim to hate each other. In addition, we were not like this due to sexual tension…My eyes landed on his chest and I wanted to smile and laugh at his orange chest hair and the billions of freckles I saw. I loved his freckles and his oddly colored hair! I wanted all of it to be mine again!

His hand roamed my chest and it tickled, I couldn’t help but giggle a little from the soft touch. And if I couldn’t mistake it, I saw a soft smile play on Adam’s lips and he continued to make ginger contact with my flesh, causing even more giggles to leave my mouth and I saw Adam glance up at me before he kissed me on the lips, not as rough, but it wasn’t as fervent as I would like. His hands played with my zipper until he unzipped it, getting my pants half way down until there was a knock on the door. I gasped, glancing at the door and moaning, looking at Adam. “W-Who is that?” I asked, panting and undoing Adam’s belt, but he seemed fixated at the door as if he was trying to remember something, but then his eyes widened.

“Fuck…” he whispered, shaking his head and drawing his attention back at me. “Nothing, ignore them…” he said, helping me pull his pants down and I leaned down biting onto his shoulder and sucking. He moaned quietly, grabbing onto my boxers and shoving them down.

“Are you sure you don’t want to get the—?” I was about to ask him, but he glared at me, shaking his head.

“Fuck, I said forget about it,” he restated, tugging his briefs to the ground and grabbing my ass again. I sighed, leaning my head against the wall; my eyes squeezed shut, ready for him to just give it to me hard since he obviously did not care if it hurt. But after about ten seconds when nothing happened, I looked at Adam and raised any eyebrow.

“What are you waiting for?” I asked and he just stared at me, shaking his head.

“Nothing…” he said, gripping onto my hips and thrusting in, causing my breath to hitch and I gasped, grabbing onto his shoulder, moaning.

“A-Ah, fuck! Ai vittu että sattuu ...” I mumbled, clenching my eyes shut and feeling a couple tears trickle down. I opened one eye and saw Adam coming closer, licking away my tears and nuzzling into my neck as he gently—which surprised me—rocked back and forth, his hand coming up and stroking my erection and I whimpered, digging my nails into his shoulders. “Adam…” I whined, and he went a little faster and I panted, grabbing onto his hair. “ADAM!” It wasn’t like our normal sex, but there was an underlining tone to it that made it feel natural—normal. Maybe it was just my imagination because I wanted to be with Adam again.

“Mm, Sauli…” he responded, going even faster in his rhythm and I felt dizzy and weak, like I couldn’t even breath and in a hot flash I shuddered and suddenly felt released and not soon after, Adam repeated. It was actually the first time we had sex without a condom or lube and it was pretty freaking intense, especially since our burning “hatred” for each other was still present. We both panted and I moaned lightly, whimpering and glancing up at Adam. He glanced back and we just stayed in that position for about thirty seconds until he pulled out and I hissed. He set me down, throwing me my clothes and putting on his pants.

“That won’t happen again…” he mumbled, glaring at me and sauntering back to his room. I frowned, looking after him and feeling even emptier inside


	24. Never Stopped Loving You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last chapter!

Adam:

I leaned down, pressing a harsh kiss to Sauli’s lips. My tongue grazed his lower lip before I pulled away, earning a small whine to arise from his throat. I moved off of him, standing from the bed. “That was fun,” I said, winking at him before grabbing my clothes from the floor and turning my back to him, slipping out of the room. I found myself back in my own room where I glanced at myself in the mirror.

It’s been about one week since the whole incident in the kitchen. I remember distinctly telling him at the end that it wouldn’t happen again. Was I right? Nope. Because apparently my mind and my body are thinking two completely different things at the same time. While my mind is telling me that it’s so wrong to sleep with Sauli, my body is telling me that I need it. Like the sex is some kind of drug to me.

And this isn’t only the second time we’ve slept together this week. It’s about the sixth. It’s like we both need the sex, but we don’t want to be in a relationship. But all this sex has made me stop and think. Do we really not want a relationship? Do I still have feelings for Sauli? A part of me is saying no, mostly because a few weeks ago, we were screaming at each other like there was no tomorrow. But the other part of me tells me yes. It tells me that I miss his smile, his sweet random kisses, and the way he used to cuddle with me at night. This part of me tells me I need him back in my life.

I just don’t know which way to go.

Looking down, I picked up a stick of eyeliner, applying a heavy amount under both eyes. I needed to know if my love for Sauli was still true, and what better way to do it than to sleep with someone else? After I sleep with someone, I’m positive I will know how I feel about Sauli. I looked around, grabbing a pair of tight black leather jeans and pulling them on. Next came my shirt, a plain white tee. I didn’t bother with accessories. I was going to be out and back in fifteen minutes.

Last were my medges. I loved these boots to death. After pulling them on, I looked my now-taller-self in the mirror before nodding and grabbing my keys and walking out of my room. I heard the shower from the guest room running and I figured Sauli was taking a shower. I passed his room and made it to the door, exiting the house and pulling myself into the driver’s seat of my car.

I was at the club in about five minutes. It was the closest one to my house, and it just happened to be the one that Sauli and I got into our fight at. I sighed at the memory, mentally pushing it away as I climbed out of my car. I was here to find someone willing enough to come home with me, not to be revisited by the awful memories of that night.

When I got inside the club, it was almost too dark to see anything. The occasional flashing lights led me to the bar where I ordered a shot, downing it quickly before glancing out at the crowd of dancing people. No one seemed to catch my eye, and I groaned, leaning on the bar. I just needed to get this over with so I could finally sort out my currently mixed-up feelings.

I looked around a little bit more, nothing really stopping my eyes from moving. It was then that I looked towards the back of the room, seeing a small figure sitting on a sofa, slowly sipping his drink. A small smile touched my lips as I stood, strutting over to the attractive male.

As I got closer, I got a better look at him. He seemed familiar in a way. His semi-long blond hair was cut in a sexy fashion, hanging over his eyes just slightly. A tight white tank top clung to his torso and a pair of black short-shorts were hanging from his slim hips. He had black, lace up boots on that went up to about his ankles and a small fishnet fingerless glove was gracing his left hand, which was holding his drink. The outfit fit him nicely, and it made my pants grow just a bit tighter. I made my way over to him, sitting down on the sofa next to him. As he looked up, I smirked lightly. He scowled a little and my eyebrows furrowed.

“You again? What, are you here to beat me up or something?” He let out a small snort; taking another sip of his drink and placing the now empty glass down on a small table near his left side.

I was confused for a second. When had I ever met this man? He looked back at me, his green eyes penetrating mine. Suddenly an image of a night about a month ago flashed through my mind. This was the man who kissed Sauli! The man who created all our problems! If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be here right now looking into his eyes! Although, he was very attractive…

I shrugged. What better way to do this?

“No, I’m actually here to find someone to take home…” I leaned over to his ear, whispering, “You seem to be the only one that fits my criteria…” He let out an involuntary moan as I pulled away, looking at him with a smirk.

“And the Finn?” He asked, placing a hand on my thigh. I felt my pants get a bit tighter as he gently rubbed up and down my leg.

“What Finn?” I said, winking and leaning in again, nipping at his neck. He turned his head to the side, granting me better access. I licked at a spot that made him let out a sweet wine, biting down hard and sucking, leaving a visible hickey. “Let me take you home…” I whispered to him.

He stood, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. He didn’t say anything; he just led me right out of the club. I showed him to my car and he got in the passenger seat as I put the key in the ignition, starting the car as fast as I could. I was anxious to get home, and I was guessing he was too. He grabbed my thigh again, his fingers running up it. I moaned and he smirked, leaning over as he nipped at my neck. My vision got blurry and it was hard to keep myself under control so I could drive, but I managed and we soon pulled into the driveway of my house.

We got out of the car, meeting at the front as we walked quick-paced up to the door. I fumbled with my keys, finally getting the door open and stepping inside. He followed behind me, closing the door as he stepped in. When the door was closed, I immediately turned to him, pushing him against the wall and forcing my lips on his. He moaned, grabbing my hair and tugging on it as his tongue broke the seam of my lips. I felt myself grow hard as he pressed his hips into my mine, rubbing our covered lengths together. I pulled away from his lips, leaning down and placing my lips on his neck again, biting hard and sucking as he let out a loud whimper. His arms wrapped around my neck, mine around his tiny waist. He pulled my face back to his, kissing me harshly.

His kisses and nips felt so good, yet so wrong at the same time. I needed this, wanted this. The lust was growing inside of me, and all I wanted was to turn this man over and screw his brains out. But my heart was beating fast, and my stomach sank lower with guilt every time skin touched skin.

I suddenly heard a gasp and looked up, glancing to the side. I saw a small figure standing in the hallway, a hand over his mouth while his other hand dangled by his side. His eyes glistened with tears, and he mumbled my name. “A-Adam…” He looked from me to the man of whom I didn’t know the name of, and then back at me. He looked hurt, and I felt my stomach drop further than ever, almost as if it hit the floor.

The man I was holding in my arms looked at Sauli, then back at me. “I thought you said you guys were done?” I kept my eyes locked on Sauli and his eyes looked angry. I wanted to walk over to him and take him in my arms, tell him was sorry, but I couldn’t. I needed to do this. So my mouth pulled up into a tight smirk.

“Y-You ASSHOLE!” He yelled, running to his room and slamming the door. My smile faded and I focused back on the guy. We looked at each other for a minute before my lips slammed back on his, picking up right where we left off.

***

I stared up at the ceiling, my heart pounding hard. I’ve been laying here for about a half an hour. John (I found out that that was the guy’s name) was lying next to me under the sheets. I lay on top of the sheets, my bare body exposed. Nothing really mattered right now except for that fact that I figured out what I’ve wanted to know for about a week.

I glanced to the side, seeing it was two in the morning. I don’t really care how early it is, I need to make things right, I stood up, my body a little numb because it is the first time I’ve moved for thirty minutes. I pulled on a pair of black sweatpants, letting them hang loosely from my hips as I exited my room.

I slowly walked to Sauli’s door, knocking on it lightly. “Sauli?” I said, opening the door just enough so I could see inside. I heard a few quiet sobs, but he didn’t respond. I stepped inside the room, closing the door behind me. There wasn’t any light in the room except for the small amount of moonlight shining in through the window. I walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge. “Sauli…”

His back was facing me, his eyes looking at the wall in front of him. He still didn’t respond to me, and I sighed. “I-I… I don’t know what to say…” I looked down at my hands, fumbling with them before choosing my next words carefully. “I was so stupid…” I looked back up at him. His sobbing had ceased. “Please say something…” There was a shift in the bed, and he looked at me.

“S-Say something?” I could see more tears shine in the dim light as they fell down his cheeks. “W-What am I supposed to say, Adam? There is nothing I have to say to you!” He turned back over, lying down again. I felt my eyes get wet as I scooted over to him, placing a hand on his arm.

“S-Sauli…” He sat up quickly, hissing at me and ripping his hand I way. My eyes went wide. I’ve never seen him so angry. “P-please…” I honestly didn’t know what to say anymore. I messed up big time, and now I was expecting to come in here and fix everything in five minutes? Not going to happen, Adam…

“W-What, Adam?! What else could you possibly want?! A second round?! Make it my turn this time!? Go fuck your boy toy instead! Judging by all of his screaming, he seemed to love it before!” I gasped. Sauli glared at me, crossing his arms over his chest. My heart dropped, and I felt the guilt again.

“I-I’m not here to have sex… I… I was so wrong for doing that… and I’m so sorry…” I looked down again, and he huffed.

“Sorry? That’s all you can say? You shattered my heart, Adam! _Shattered_ it…” his eyes went from angry to hurt as they looked into mine. I didn’t want to hurt him anymore. I just wanted this all to end. I wanted everything to go back to normal.

“I know I did… And it broke my heart to see all the pain I inflicted on you… And I couldn’t be more sorry… I don’t know what else to say…” My voice was barely audible, but every word was still true. “I… I need you…”

Sauli sighed. “I… Adam, you hurt me more than any master ever has… I… I don’t know how I could ever forgive you…” I felt my eyes get wet again because I really didn’t want to hurt him that much. I just wanted my baby to know how much I need him… If he still was my baby…

I crawled over to him, grabbing his hand. “All you have to do is give me one more chance… If I screw up again, you can hate me forever… But please, one more chance…”

He looked to the side, yet this time, he didn’t pull his hand away. I enjoyed the warmth of his small hand in mine. Our hands felt like they fit together perfectly, like two puzzle pieces. “Adam… I-I…” he looked back at me, and I smiled lightly at him. I mumbled a quiet ‘please,’ and he looked down, his eyes landing on our hands.

I couldn’t wait any longer. I reached over to him, lifting his chin with my free hand and looking him in the eyes. His eyes searched mine, and I could sense fear. Fear that I might hurt him again if he gives himself back to me. I frowned, leaning over and pressing my lips lightly to his. He hesitated at first, but his lips began to move slowly with mine.

This kiss was unlike any other kiss we’ve shared in the last month. This kiss connected us. It wasn’t rough, it wasn’t forced. It was sweet and kind. It was the most delicate and gentle kiss I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.

When I pulled away, he looked me in the eyes. “I’ve missed you…” He said, his lips curling into a small smile. I smiled back, squeezing his hand.

“I’ve missed you more than you can even imagine…” I pecked his lips again quickly, before pulling away. I felt my heart beat fast at the thought of the risk I was about to take. “I… I love you, Sauli…”

No three words had ever been more true in my entire life. As I said the words, it was like I could feel the pieces of my heart picking back up. I’ve been too deprived of telling him that. At this point, if he didn’t say it back, I would probably hate myself forever for ever hurting him so much.

“I love you too, Adam…” He said, wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling me down on top of him. My soul suddenly felt complete, and my heart didn’t hurt anymore. I kissed him slowly, loving the sweet taste of his gentle kisses. I pulled away, falling to his side and wrapping my arms around his waist. I pulled him against my chest and he gripped my hand, lacing our fingers together. I smiled to myself, closing my eyes. I had never felt so complete.

“I never stopped loving you, Sauli.”


End file.
